Alexander Matrosov, pancake
there Passed exactly two weeks from that fatal, - I would even tell, fatal though I do not know yet that I was prepared by whimsical destiny, - the moment as I was taken sudden (and in practice, saved for many years and sometimes rushing outside in the form of careful clots of my truths and opinions) courage (or gave in to sudden stupidity - some especially clever quite so and consider) and, at last, did not allow the director to humiliate me, and together with me and my colleagues.
What has happened? Yes, probably, nothing especially, nothing remarkable what it would be worth writing here so about, alone to wake up in the middle of frosty night both to think, think, think, drink tablets and to clutch at heart, at the head, finally, to understand what all, actually, poshleyshy nonsense, what happened, and, especially, as we react to it. In total - navsy our director, on the favourite habit which long ago became his nature rushed to us and all hurricane of the pejorative uncontrollable speech snatched on the one who came to hand. That is, on the one who had no relation to business.
I by the time of the beginning of his ardent speech spoke by phone and heard only parts its angry “such it is necessary to dismiss“, “harm to the enterprise“, “silly persons“ and to that similar “flatter“ ascertainings and our terrible Zeus`s epithets. The director, as always, did not understand what he spoke about. Or rather, understood according to the son - the chief of our department, a frank pettiness, to tell the truth, which till half a day vanished not a message where instead of resolving issues of department. The son, as usual, in the evening behind a cup of tea, said too much to the father, itself without suspecting what it will lead to. And the father, having hardly waited night, since morning, straight off in a pit, began to wave a checker, representing from itself the only guardian of the enterprise, against us “silly persons“.
The situation was silly and comic at the same time: the management lack of information multiplied by nonsense in estimates and conclusions, very far from any truth, with addition of terrible rhetoric about everything and about anything, touched and summoned pity tears.
The director, as if Neron on a scene of own theater - our enterprise where he is an ingenious only actor, so was fond of the performance played by itself(himself), the just anger to a poor lamb - the leading economist Petrusha that he, by that moment when I finished a phone conversation, was already going to dismiss him. All stood at attention, having extended as though swallowed on a two-meter ruler as if they were in army, but not on civil production, and is guilty, almost mournfully, were silent. Such persons, I remember, were when dear Leonid Ilyich died.
- It is inadmissible negligence! When we fight for each client when have to fall to each of them in legs and kiss them, you, silly persons, fuck up those who to you came and in a pocket brought money! Such it is necessary to throw out for gate, without regret! To dismiss! To get rid! - the leading economist Petrusha contracted in a lump before the storming thunder-storm, and, appear, in general badly understood what he there is a speech about whom he “fucked up“ and why it should be thrown out for gate.
I believe that our director not the unique top manager and a rank which does not concern “as“ and “why“, and interests only “to make, and all here! “ It belongs to that legion of the heads who are hastily stamped and stuck together on one rough curves of Soviet period which never asks questions and if whether means and opportunities for implementation of the grandiose plans.
It belongs to that mighty unsinkable heap which when you touch it, at any occasion and without that, begins to exhale an intolerable smell. He - as the Tambov barin, with undisguised pleasure with might and main waves a whip and never treats to gingerbread. Works only with threats, intimidates and punishes, and occasionally pardons for imaginary fault.
- I promised to dismiss you?! So I will keep the promise! - this self-satisfied braggart continued to squall, being even more inflated from own importance.
- Sergey Vladimirovich, allow … - I got up to try to clear at least something.
- I will not allow! Sit down! - the director attacked already on me. His eyes feverishly burned, cheeks were filled in by an apoplectic flush. It seemed it here - there will be enough blow.
- Allow me to clear at least … - I did not understand all gravity of situation and mood of the director.
Eh, moods, moods … As for management moods, and it is a separate abstruse song. Before in the morning to enter to the director, chiefs of shops, his deputies and just clerks, rooms, accepted in his yellow oak, usually in a whisper are interested at the secretary Lyubochka in what mood today Sergey Vladimirovich. With what he, so to speak, legs today on morning got up.
The secretary, as a rule, frowns the pulled-out brows on a small forehead and significantly swings a pretty head, without forgetting to be silent at the same time significantly. Or to keep mum. As any word everything told as in a chant of the American cops, can be used against you - against it.
A lot of things depend on mood. Everything depends on mood. Depends, will lecture you for for what you were it is sure have to praise, either will almost approvingly keep silent or will mutter something like approval for what have to lecture for.
Depends on mood good you are a worker or the sloven. Worthy person or last pettiness.
Work of the whole departments depends on mood of the director. If bad and it to break mood on your department, having splashed out there as slops of the morning hangover after a yesterday`s wine party in a bath with strippers (as it bragged more than once) or will be thrown as a bad stone after blamestorming session in regional executive committee, then the mood will be spoiled by everything. Simple clerks, without having an opportunity to respond to injustice of the high offender, will break on similar. To Sklochitsya and sutyazhitsya from - for the dissatisfied clients who are not made in time reports or the pencil which is simply left on others table. And the atmosphere will be oppressive, black, extending the splashed-out rage and discontent to all, as the fates decree appeared in it.
- Allow me to clear at least … - there were I to clear up as knew a situation best of all, having held negotiations from that two slovenly look by clients from Kazakhstan. And then, how I could watch this beating of innocent babies quietly? Could not. If who deserved flogging, then not Petrusha in any way.
- Shut up! - almost the madman Sergey Vladimirovich vzreepenitsya. And here I did not sustain any more. Or rather, on the contrary, sustained a pause and answered with quiet tone - Sergey Vladimirovich, it is ugly.
If there is on light a verbal beating, beating by words, then it is my case. What followed.
- What?! To do to the director the remark?! Small dog! - to me it became terrible for Sergey Vladimirovich`s life. It was similar on tousled line to which prizhgl under a tail. - Today to dismiss! - the director it is heated threw to the head of department, the son who every time in such cases stood aside.
Well, everything, jokes ended. To all there is the limit. The side, even at such small dogs.
- To Dismiss? - I asked almost also terribly as he shouted at me before. - To dismiss for what? It is unfair …
Ya noticed long ago that the appeal to justice, the truth and conscience, to those unwritten and already almost invisible human values, arouse the indignation, and even anger and rage is stronger indignation also, than nepotrebny the object behaves. At that very moment, when the elementary logic of all people when go against conscience is trampled and create any already almost habitual muck, the appeal to justice and conscience just kills, causing the certain convulsions which are poured out in even big agonal rage.
The director, having banged a door, jumped out in a corridor. The death silence hung in mid-air. All were silent, as on a funeral.
In me bubbled. Hatred and indignation to that really injustice whose witness were seven people bubbled. Boiled from such, appear, habitual management petty tyranny. Raged from improbable nonsense and platitude of told.
Our chief opened a mouth to mumble, I was almost sure, habitual “Nothing. It is not necessary to argue“ or “The chief not in mood“, but I did not begin to listen, knowing beforehand as as it will be told, and got up and left after the director to calm down a little.
What all - improbable platitude and what fat dabs of a pisana all these self-satisfied pictures of bossy discontent when most of all our administration irritates and enrages not counterarguments and opinions on business, and quasi remarks to the illustrious persons. In any case counterarguments! That there opinions! There is neither the first, nor the second on our zavodik. There is one opinion. One argument. One truth. And they always, by the Roman right of patricians from the birth, follow only from the director`s lips, but not from dirty mouths of plebeians - us.
Me all our planning meetings were remembered. In due time, as the acting as the chief of our department, at them there were also I, every time asking the same question: what is it? That it occurs? Why at all meetings steadily one eternal speaker - our self-satisfied Neron? Why only he speaks? Why all others, having looked down in a floor, are always silent? Even then, when they are humiliated openly? Where their elementary feeling of own human dignity? Where their professional pride? Why their voices are never heard?
In the first year of the work at our nice enterprise, in corridors and on planning meetings, there and here, faced people in green dressing gowns, technologists and engineers, without having ideas of how their voices sound. Their appearance to me was good is familiar, is printed by green spots in memory, and here the sound of their voice was not familiar to me. And it is unsurprising, many of them were unvoiced. Their voice - was superfluous in their work. And even, as it became clear, dangerous.
At meetings the director could extend for hours to absolutely abstract subjects which do not have any relation to production. Could argue and about production, at the same time teaching those who could teach it. Usually for each such action the victim it, as a rule, not the best moods was chosen, and vseprilyudno it vymazyvatsya by tar of management indignation and fell out in feathers of his indignation. At the same time the victim had no right to vote. Had no opportunity neither to protect itself, nor to justify. All this was at the same time sad and is mean. However nobody ever objected. Nobody interceded for himself, especially for others. On the contrary, the people, gray-haired technologists and engineers, full and bald chiefs of departments remorselessly screened themselves and delicately set up the colleagues. The known business not to be the devoured cannibal, it is necessary to trade places with the victim. As occurred.
There were, however, some such who nevertheless became on protection of the honor who did not maintain long-term humiliation, even one year prior to pension. Then all of them, almost without exception, left at own will. One was hospitalized with a heart attack. Another was exposed for gate at twenty four o`clock, with violation of any labor legislation.
In any case to speak, my colleague Tatyana Anatolyevna, all the time of our acquaintance suffering any nonsense of our director to its my near contempt (I will not hide, I did not understand how it is possible to kowtow so) on the tenth year nevertheless lost patience and instead of it found in herself something reminding female pride and human dignity, and gave out in a face this happy herself and dissatisfied with all to a derzhimorda, all the plain truth. Threw in a face as throw a glove to the villain. Then - who could think? - it was immediately dismissed, “at own will“. What pleasure then I tested! All right, on its place there were not I. Not I stood for the honor. Not I took courage and gave on the person. But justice everything is for a second triumphed, and it was the main thing.
For the next years me several times all - was necessary to object the director. Or rather, it were even not objections. Not business professional opinions. No, it were short, sporadic, quickly also not compound notes because the mouth was right there shut to me.
The first time it was when we were punished for our website, having found it insufficiently “informative and advanced“. Then our Neron called the whole meeting, having dragged in even those who were not able to use the computer. Also told the speech. For about two hours. The essence it was reduced - who could think? - to what all of us are idiots and idlers to whom it has to be a shame with our website. Then, I by inexperience, got up and told that I for a month wrote service records, trying to draw management attention to poor quality of this resource. On what the director on me so zyrknut, and colleagues in a break twisted fingers at a temple, repeating “Be silent, be silent, you will be more whole“.
The second time I demanded, or asked, or I do not know any more, most low begged, for “dialogue with our department“, between us and it, appealing to that, as we need to be heard. Then the director to me bellowed “Dialogue will not be“, and colleagues teased me for a long time, having met every time in a corridor or a smoking-room, “Want dialogue?“, finding a situation very amusing.
The third time turned out the embarrassment described above at all. Or rather, not an embarrassment, and logical succession of events between the too choosy geek and “small dog“ - the person who remembered that he is a person.
… Having returned to itself, the head of department asked me to write explanatory what I also made. Every other day, in an icy cold, I was sent to business trip for eight hundred kilometers which reminded the reference. In three days I was sent far away from eyes, in the frosts again. At night temperature fell to -32, the car was “full of holes“, heating was almost not, even mineral water in bottles froze. I muffled up legs in disposed endowed, pulled a cap and a hood up to the eyebrows, and all the same froze, to dumbness in legs. Even the thought of what I have to freeze to myself a foot occurred - after the next trip I did not feel them. And all - I again and again, with some devil ostervenelost, in the most severe February frosts, was sent to the most distant corners of the country.
In two weeks I visited three business trips, two of them had for the weekend, and in any way could not be warmed. Two more trips were ahead planned. In short intervals, outlets that I came back, I every time found some new muck, nearly plot, in the absence. That began to be dug under mine reklamno - exhibition production which I, according to the available order wrote off, revealed that the quantity of written off and available does not correspond available to documents. The director dug. And how it could correspond when the director and his confidants, without any documents dragged at me this production? Or on one two pieces “was expropriated“ from me, in my absence, in some “production needs“? I, was, told it, to the director when it began to frighten me nearly criminal case, as it, including, in my absence borrowed them me - I do not doubt the production purposes that caused in it the next paroxysm of anger, but after it it seems everything calmed down.
Another time the director showed discontent that I not absolutely truly issued its business trip to Slovakia. Say, dates were not what it planned. I, was, wanted to answer it that this trip was only called business, actually, was especially personal, at the expense of the enterprise. But restrained, understanding that it will not forgive me any more.
Now, occurring where - nibud in a corridor or at garages, it in every possible way expressed me the contempt. Or did not notice at all, being inflated as the small child that, despite all gravity of my situation, caused in me almost laughter - so he was offended, on my greeting something is indiscernible muttered.
I understood, its illustrious ego suffered. It which is brought up by all of us, coward and silent the improbable self-conceit and vanity to the most cancer tips was vulnerable. I, a small dog and the clerk, during an instant of his illustrious anger, returned it from heaven on the earth, having humiliated and having crushed.
That is, not I, was humiliated with his rudeness, abuse and the unfair relation, my human right was violated, and it.