Whether the praise is so necessary to children how it is painted? Part second.
to Distinguish a birdie from a small fish
the Child is born with the desires put in it by the nature, abilities. In systemically - vector psychology they received the name - vector. Aspirations are set, but not realized. As there will take place development of its congenital potential, in many respects, depends on parents of the kid who, first of all, wants to feel safe. Not smaller impact on mentality of the child is exerted by us, teachers.
Whether we hang labels, we interfere or we develop inherited qualities of the pupil. Pedagogical mistakes cost much. Sometimes the price - the broken human destinies. It is a lot of cases when the school in perception of the child turns into hell and only way out he finds in suicide. Then all make a helpless gesture - did not watch. Look for guilty persons, only the child not to return.
The knowledge of psychology, first of all, allows to distinguish one children from others. To select to everyone the key. To put itself to the place of the pupil - a method failure. It as the small fish will try to become a birdie. Our values and the child`s values - different things.
People differ from each other and at the same time they are identical. All of us want to be happy and to derive pleasure from life. Eight vectors and extent of their development, a realizovannost define our vital scenario. Whether there will be it successful, and we happy.
To see a vektoralny set of the child - the first and main step to understanding and the correct education. I was trained on trainings and now accurately I distinguish different psychological types of children. Here is how it is shown concerning a praise.
Whom to praise?
One category of pupils, the most obedient and our remarkable, one may say, general favourites waits for a praise. Only it is necessary to them for good reason. It is just that case about which psychologists of the whole world repeat, however it is no more than 20% of such children. To praise them in vain - kind words will depreciate also incentive which pushed children to actions will be lost.
Children, for which a praise - a way to understand that parents accept them that they are in safety, have an anal vector.
The praise gives them necessary confirmation that they made everything truly. The mentality of the anal child is arranged so that kind words help it to develop in his address. Natural laziness by the beginning of new business gets off a praise.
To anal children the praise is more important than a candy. They are ready to work, and is qualitative, finishing business, for a certificate of appreciation. Anal girls, to hear laudatory speeches in the address, are ready to sweep out all dust from corners, to classify everything, guide ideal purity. Anal boys will daily wash the dishes if about it they were asked, knowing that they in exchange will receive a praise from parents.
We look for “ golden mean “
the Praise for children with an anal vector - source of receiving pleasure, small happiness.
However everything can be finished to the point of absurdity and instead of positive result to receive negative. To parents, before using a praise as the tool for a manipulation the child, it would be quite good to know about sad consequences. The child will be ready to do anything if only to receive a praise. If in the beginning the praise of parents, then then any its environment is valuable to it. With different intentions peers, teachers, other people will be able to influence acts of your kid.
Besides, the child will grow up and without praise nothing will be able to make. Will not praise at work that it cleaned garbage, executed usual office instructions - will cease to do it. A series of dismissals and the anal son (the most obedient, appeasable) will be disappointed in life, in people, will take offense for the whole world and will lie on a sofa at home, without having opened the natural talents. to Overpraise
- it is worse, than to put too much salt. The child, understands that he was praised unfairly and the value of a praise is lost. The method, the most suitable for development of an anal vector ceases to work for the kid.
So to find “ golden mean “ how to praise anal children, means thereby to find a key to their development and realization.
It is necessary to us praises
of Other category of children a praise on bread you will smear - them approximately as much, how many “ good boys “. Children with a skin vector. They prefer instead of a praise, something useful, essential to receive. Such thanks which can be put in a pocket which will save time and money. Will bring benefit.
The third group of pupils at a praise falls into anger at all. Their no more than 5% and not in each class such or such will meet, but here if meets, then be healthy - do not praise, and that everything was gone. The child is dissatisfied, and the class will lead not there. Such conflict can create that no disciplinary diaries will rescue.
It by the nature has no bans, it always goes for tags. He is the leader directed in the future. The child with an urethral vector. The arkhetipichny program of the leader of pack put in it does not accept the words told it from top to down. Admiration of it - what its mentality waits for.
Imagine a situation if court begin to praise the tsar, putting themselves is higher than it. Difficultly for the teacher with experience, awards, ranks to express admiration to the pupil, even to the leader. Meanwhile, if to give it in hands the power and was able to direct, he is capable to bear responsibility for each pupil in a class and to create the real group of adherents. To be your irreplaceable and most faithful assistant.
One more group of children - with a muscular vector. They like process of what they do.
At the modern person from two to five vectors. It is correct to learn to define a vektoralny set it is possible only at completion of the training on systemically - vector psychology of Yury Burlan. To learn itself - the most fascinating occupation.