Well and which of us psychopath?
I am concerned lately by a question why we so shout at each other? And, naturally, it seems to me that HE shouts at me, and he in turn calls my flashes psychopathic. I think, the situation is familiar to much. Let`s think, let`s understand.
Let`s understand that with it to do. It is possible to decide that two such unbalanced persons just were selected, quickly flash, without it life is not lovely to them... But in our couple, at least, I warrant for myself, it gets at least one of us. That is the version “accept it and calm down“ does not work.
BEGIN WITH YOURSELF.
As the psychologist, I cannot but remember this simple truth: “the world begins with me“. In the sense that I perceive surrounding through a prism of the relation. And if I change, my relation, beliefs and so forth, then and the world becomes better. And, alas, to change other person beyond our powers. If we want to continue with it communication, in any case... And what it is necessary to change in itself to cease to shout and not to feel the victim when shout at me? So far only questions collect a snowball. But, we go further...
WHAT IRRITATES us.
As the same psychologist, I quite often remember one more less pleasant truth: in others we are irritated with what is available in ourselves. And until we with it understand ourselves, our irritation will not get to anywhere. But one business - to philosophize and theorize on this subject, - to put another into practice. I am irritated even more, but there are no two ways about it. Especially as I already checked.
So the unique answer to the question raised in heading - the psychopath, unfortunately, it I follows from the above-mentioned. And what to do now, children?
Just one fine day (or slowly but surely) I came to a conclusion that near me the person unbalanced, and I am such perfect. Well just because so it is much easier to think, than to work on itself, isn`t that so? And therefore I began to cling and correct to it in trifles. He shouts, and I at anything. It is guilty, and I am right. Pleasantly to it how you think? Here and I think that not really.
And I still toil from where in me there is so much irritation. Yes I to myself also wound it. Once corrected the person, another, and was involved, learned to try to discover new shortcomings and to boil... It turns out, I pose as such lady unperturbable here - I build, I inside - that boil all! - and he constantly feels left unfinished... Horror! And it I considering himself reflexing, the sane and mild person, created such situation for this purpose whom I love? And for, naturally.
Here and a key, it is necessary to change the relation. To cease to look at IT as on the idiot... And on as on Miss Perfection. To climb down a mountain of coolness and just to be near. You look and to shout it will be ceased to want by itself. To both him and me. Oh, that is to both me and him, here the word order is important: the world - that begins with me, we do not forget. There will be other ways of communication: support, attention, mitigation of situations. Let`s smile more, we will be irritated less. The main thing - not to put on airs (there will be enough verses already!) and not to put itself on higher step of development.
Good luck to all of us, friends!