Why to us foreign opinion?
will Always be two opinions on any question. Usually one own, and another others, wrong. The exchange of opinions, as a rule, comes to an end with the fact that everyone keeps the own opinion. Then why to us foreign opinion? In what cases it can be useful and in what is not present?
The general criterion of usefulness is simple. If foreign opinion allows to find the new solution, idea, knowledge, or to make necessary actions, then such opinion of other person deserves attention. It does not mean that it is always correct, but can be that.
For example if ached, then it is better to listen to opinions of three different doctors. It is necessary to make the decision, where to be treated as, and, above all - from what. Will offer you inspections, will inform on an illness, but opinions doctors can have much, and your health one. It is better to make a final decision, having many options of treatment. Here opinions of several experts will be only on advantage.
When foreign opinion is necessary?
1. When there is no, any.
Tens of concrete situations: to make repair, to repair the car, to choose good experts, etc. We in these questions, as a rule, rely on foreign opinion if we do not understand. Sometimes the people considering themselves as experts in all areas meet, but it just seems so to them (in my opinion).
2. When you study.
Came to gain knowledge, skills - hide the opinion in a pocket or still where far away. Otherwise training will not turn out. For example, saw how the adult woman learned to swim. The instructor half an hour explained that it is necessary to do an exhalation in water. The young lady half an hour argued that, in her opinion, in water cannot be exhaled, and that in a mouth will be poured. What efficiency of such training?
Still example. Once I taught the girl to driving of the car. In her opinion, two legs and three pedals - it is not logical therefore she tried to press the left leg coupling, right on “gas“, and the brake pedal always turned out superfluous. Well not to refuse it from - for such a trifle the opinion. After it crushed three snowdrifts and two bushes, I understood that health and the car, than her opinion on logic of the device of pedals are more expensive to me.
When foreign opinion is not necessary?
1. If it does not contain anything useful.
For example, the person ego-trips, reporting the estimates: “at you everything is bad“, “you are a nonprofessional“, “all is incorrect“, etc. Estimates - labels characterize “appraiser“ more, but in them there is nothing constructive. And what to do with such opinion? Anything. It causes a sneezing reflex in me. Usually such “appraisers“ begin to be indignant when they learn that their opinion can be uninteresting and simply it is not necessary. They sacredly believe that all people on the planet Earth are given birth for the only purpose - to appreciate opinion of “samoutverzhdenets“.
2. When firmly made the decision.
For example, the adult and independent person made the decision to marry. In his opinion - it is correct and good. Whether it is necessary to dissuade, stating the point of view? Let`s say the groom will follow advice and will change the mind. Who is ready to give a written guarantee that at it everything will be good, and he will never regret that he arrived according to foreign opinion. Probably, at a stage of decision-making it is possible to share the fears, reasonings, sometimes it is even necessary, let will hear different opinions. But when the decision is made as it is considered and weighed, foreign opinion is not necessary any more.
3. The person just does not want to listen.
You know why the camel of vatu does not eat? Does not want! And the person is arranged: if something is not necessary to it, then your finest opinion will not be heard. Why to rend the air, to spoil paper, to knock on keyboard keys? Empty it. Perhaps, the rights of people, is more visible to it what to pay attention to and what to ignore. But there are persistent people. They to that navyazchivy, than less are interested in their opinion, constantly die a contradiction. On the one hand, do not respect the right of other person to arrive at discretion, with another - try to obtain attention to themselves. you Want to share
the First sobering question - what for?
From - for love to truth? I understand, there is a wish. But as E. Kashcheev told: “The truth needs protection. Let`s protect... the opinion!“. Here the main thing - not to mix search of the correct decision, the offer of possible options and the desire to ego-trip. Watch what I am clever! And to whom it is necessary? And how it is connected with search of truth?
The second question - how to formulate?
It seems to me that better softly and not categorically. As G. Malkin spoke: “Doubt - whisper of truth“. And categoriality, probably, shout of delusion.
Let delusions will be less, and it is more understanding. Then foreign opinion can become useful.