Money: pull together or spoil the relations?
Model of our relations in a family can be determined by what quarrels on money in it happen. It is considered to be that from - for money quarrel in families where they are not enough. Absolutely not so. Quarrels of such plan are also in families with a high income level, and with modest prosperity. How to pick up the type of the family budget suitable for you and to prevent destruction of the relations?
In our country often say that at a family “all the general“. Yes, probably, it was right “to a historical materialism“ as companion O. Bender told. That is when all had a prosperity average, and in a family or traditionally the man earned slightly more, or salaries were identical. And the real estate in property then was not, and there was nothing to divide especially.
Types of family budgets today: the General joint budget I Begin
with it - it is more habitual to hearing and is more clear. 99,9% of people are more senior 20 grew up in families where there was such approach to finance. I too.
That it means: all income comes to general “copper“. Expenses, purchases and payments come from this integrated sum too.
Plus such budget: it gives very strong feeling of unity, a community, strong family, transparency and openness. It is supposed that it is support and a support for both spouses.
Minuses: Everything is opened, and it is very difficult to give gifts each other. Practically there is no personal space connected with investments. Such budget is acceptable provided that both parties accurately pronounce the expenses, requirements and actions. Otherwise - even desire to go on inexpensive, but not accepted by the spouse (“Why to you these courses of extreme driving!? “, “What else training of personal growth where to grow?“) action - can end with scandal.
the Budget share
That it means: the income of spouses is distributed in shares. There is a share which goes to the general budget, and part of money which remains on a personal discretion.
Important: before passing to such budget, it is necessary to count accurately how many means are necessary for all-family needs what articles of the budget are obligatory, to agree as there will be an accumulation for unforeseen situations. It assumes a certain level of financial literacy of spouses, openness, readiness to keep the record “cash flows“ - what where how many we pay? Large purchases and joint trips make a reservation together.
Pluses: the Big freedom of action in “the share“ of the budget. An opportunity to do to the spouse surprises, to be engaged in what is pleasant without prejudice to the budget.
Minuses: If someone from spouses temporarily without income - the situation becomes complicated.
the Budget separate
That it means: each of spouses has the income. More and more people get paid on a card, even more often the level of the income in a family differs - and the difference can be very notable. More and more the work form differs: someone in a hired format, someone in freelance, many looks for side jobs and open the (though small - but the) business. Many people in our country are shocked by the phrase “I owe the husband for holiday“, or “I lent at the wife on the car“.
Pluses: the Separate budget assumes that each of spouses has a sufficient income level for full providing himself. And then in the relations there are no thoughts that someone with someone lives for mercenary reasons - on the first place the personal relations. Understanding that we together not because differently we will not survive but because there is an attachment, desire to be together.
it is difficult to i to leave from stereotypes. Society treats such families hard - it is not really habitual, not really clear - therefore it is simpler to reject. The personal maturity of spouses is supposed, then it will not be difficult to adjust maintaining joint economy at the separate budget. “What budget it is better for
Yes, after all this the natural question arises - what type of the budget better to choose to a concrete family? Let`s consider what financial relations under what conditions are most convenient and justified.
The general budget is suitable for conservative spouses who have approximately equal level of the income. For young families where spouses have no experience of housekeeping and management of means yet, at the initial stage there can be more suitable the general budget too. At a situation of not really stable income - for difficulties - families often automatically come to combination of the income.
When spouses have a stable and equal income - the share budget is possible. Especially under a condition if there are special articles of an expense: expensive training, hobbies and a hobby at each of spouses. All this is possible only at the stable personal relations. As soon as there are questions and claims to each other - it will right there be reflected also in the financial relations (about it is more detailed in the following articles). Also it is necessary to pronounce in advance as there will be financial investments when one of spouses remains without income.
One more situation when spouses forcedly pass to the share budget - temporary difficulties in the relations. When the situation is solved, and the decision to continue to live together is made - it is possible to return also to the general budget. But if the relations begin will worsen, the share budget can lead to faster gap (not a secret that many families at the absent relations remain only in connection with financial obligations and requirements).
The separate budget is suitable for guest marriages (when spouses live separately) -. Most often it is not first marriages. People have the real estate, accumulation and different sources of the income. Most often, it is people with the income above an average. This form of the budget at joint life is possible in that case when people are able very quietly, accurately and soberly to agree - how to master the house how many we put where we go to have a rest as we pay training of children etc. of
From personal experience: I saw families with all forms of budgets and the different at the same time relations. Itself lived in all three options. The most important in all cases - to understand what occurs why personally I choose by such form of the financial relations; to be ready to speak on the most different subjects.
The fact - many people consider a subject of money “ticklish“ and therefore it is simpler to them not to speak about them in general. And actually behind not spoken financial situations problems almost always disappear in the relations.