What secrets of good communication?
Probably, each of us asked a question: “Why at someone there are a lot of friends and acquaintances, and very few people communicate with me?“ “Why someone is constantly called, everywhere call, all are glad to see him / her, and I am absent?“ And, probably, it would be pleasant to everyone if it was that is called “in great demand“ as it is described above.
At once I will tell that friends are not much. And what good someone`s relations from outside would not seem, friendly they happen not always. Nobody forbids people not to be on friendly terms, and it is just good to communicate?
To teach communication - business, it is necessary to admit, ungrateful. Each person is individual, to everyone “the“ approach is necessary, and what is applicable to one, is not always admissible for another.
But there are “general“ secrets allowing to achieve success in communication and words of others “he / she is a pleasant interlocutor / interlocutor» that, undoubtedly, will attract people as a magnet.
In - the first , this desire to communicate. If you communicate through clenched teeth, unnaturally - it is possible to forget about your interlocutor at once - nothing, except an unpleasant deposit, you will leave behind. Communicate as equals with all, or do not communicate at all with people who are unpleasant to you.
In - the second , sincerely be interested in the interlocutor. It does not mean that it is necessary to ask openly him on his family / hobby and other, but in conversation be interested in his opinion: that he thinks in a conversation subject whether there was to it it etc.
B - the third , speak about yourself favourite less. Of course, at each of us a wealth of experience and everyone directly - is eager to splash out it outside, but do not forget that the long monologue tires the interlocutor. And the impression of the vainglorious talker too did to nobody credit. If you about you are not asked - be limited to parenthesises “I think“, “it seems to me“, “is remembered“, and further in two - three words - your thoughts and personal experience. If you are asked - it is possible to speak more rasprostranyonno, but within limits and not for long. At the end of the monologue surely take an interest in opinion of the interlocutor and transfer a communication subject to its experience.
In - the fourth , listen to the interlocutor more. Do not kill it. Occasionally insert the remarks, letting know that you attentively listen and it is interesting to you. It is pleasant to any person “to be uttered“, but it is twice more pleasant when listen to him. If the topic of conversation bored you or is uninteresting - try “to recover“ it some question or to transfer to other course, besides, a question.
In - the fifth , look for a common ground. It can be common interests, general views, a work / study platitude, the neighbourhood on the house / street - yes anything. Having found these points, do not release them, develop communication on these subjects further, but knowing when to stop. If conversation smoothly turned into repetition of already told - means, came it is time to change the subject.
In - the sixth , you leave from dividing. All of us are people and all of us are different. If your interlocutor likes the fact that it is absolutely uninteresting to you - do not touch upon this subject deeply better. It is possible to express correctly the point of view not to offend, but do not focus attention on it. You remember: one factor dividing you is capable “to block“ itself all common ground and forever it is impossible to spoil the adjusted relations which will be is difficult to be adjusted and sometimes even. People are more susceptible to a negative, than to a positive - as they say, the spoon of tar spoils a honey barrel. You remember it.
In - the seventh , smile. Nothing so gains the person as a smile. Smile sincerely and as often as possible - it will be pleasant to interlocutor to communicate with the positive person.
In - the eighth , be interesting. Besides all aforesaid, for good communication it is necessary to take an independent stand that is possible only in the presence of versatile development and though some erudition. Be interested in the events around you, by art, sport, other people and do it sincerely. Get the hobby. It is pleasant to people to communicate with clever people who have an idea of everything even if not really deep. And existence of versatile development allows to find more general subjects for conversation more common ground. The hobby is necessary for self-expression that the interlocutor had clearer idea of you. It is far better and easier to be “journalist“, “dancer“, “photographer“, “poet“, “programmer“, than simply “the good person“. And presently egoism a label “I am just good person“ everything so often such formulation causes the return thoughts in people hang up on itself. If you are persons, got used to watch only entertainment events on TV, to idle and wash up bones familiar - you should begin to work on yourself and the intelligence to find a good circle of contacts.
In - the ninth , do not philosophize too. Excessive manifestation of mind and overload of conversation by abstruse words and phrases pushes away people, especially those who do not differ in special erudition and, subconsciously feeling more serious interlocutor and having complex about it, begin to think that the interlocutor “tycht“ the mind.
In - the tenth , be honest and sincere. Do not deceive even if you know that the person never learns the truths. You can incidentally let out and it will be very ugly if your lie emerges“ once. If you do not want to tell the truth - better at all you tell nothing.
In - the eleventh , be able to empathize. If the person shares with you the problems - listen and try to help. If it needs support - support. If the help what you are able to render is necessary - do not refuse. The person will be grateful to you.
In - the twelfth , do not speak of anybody badly. If you lower someone - you do not make good impression, and here can cause interest to lowered quite. And where a guarantee that your interlocutor will not be of the opinion then of your enemy? And listening to your gossips or even the sad truth about someone, he can think of that, as him, the interlocutor, you, perhaps, for eyes throw mud. Any humiliations of other people do you weak in the opinion of the interlocutor. The self-assured and strong person will never fall to humiliations.
In - the thirteenth , be able to keep secrets. If the person entrusted you something and asked to keep in secret - make it. The reputation of the talker always pushed away people.
In - the fourteenth , are not greedy on compliments. If the person is worthy praises - praise. Be not afraid that it will look as flattery: if you explain what you praise for - it will be the truth. For example, “you have a taste, it is pleasant to me how you select things …“
B - the fifteenth , be not mistrustful. If the person did not deceive you yet or you are very little familiar with him - do not show distrustfulness. You do not speak “and you do not lie?“ and to that similar phrases which can touch the interlocutor. We do not know what it actually, and suddenly before us honesty?
Following these simple rules, you have every chance to become the pleasant interlocutor and to pass for the good person who is not a shame for inviting in any company or to whom it is simple to sit and talk together “for life“. And such it is always more good people in an environment that considerably can help with life.