How to become for the child the friend?
the Most difficult profession on Earth - to be a good parent. And the diploma about the termination of pedagogical higher education institution - not the most important assistant in it. As practice shows, in families of parents - teachers ungrateful and ill-bred children quite often grow up. What should be done for this purpose to become for the child the chief Teacher in life? I will make bold to share the parental experience.
I have two adult daughters: one 24 years, other 27 years. To public measures, I am not ideal mother. At a boundary 90 - ykh got divorced, was seriously ill. My children for many years lived in a new family of the father. Of course, I did not lose touch with them: we corresponded, I sent gifts, once came. All these years suffered, suffered sense of guilt, but could change nothing: children grew up without me. We met many years when they became adults later. The oldest daughter left medical college and moved to live to me, and younger studied at university in other city, but as soon as possible came to us. Despite separation, they kept to me love and respect, I for them the main adviser on all questions and the good friend to this day.
Many say that I was lucky with children. Analyzing the past, I consider that in the early childhood we with the husband correctly treated them. By training I am a philologist and, despite family disagreements, in questions of education the husband recognized my authority. We quarreled in a civilized way: without scandals and a manhandling, though not behind closed doors, i.e. children witnessed our quarrels. I am convinced that parents should not pretend that between them everything is good if there is no it actually. You will not deceive children, they as a litmus piece of paper, will reveal “kislotno - alkaline balance“ families and will only suffer from it. Thanks to my ex-husband that he never interfered if I punished children. In turn, if it applied to them the measures of education influence, I did not disturb even if considered that it is not right.
I consider as very important condition of education of the child in a family system of punishments. It is necessary to punish, but the child has to know what he is punished for. We never shouted at children. I showed discontent by voice: in it “steel“ notes began to sound. For them “corner“, a slap in the back place was serious punishment. I never lay to the children, and they knew that the truth what it bitter would not be, me zhelanny most sophisticated lie. I always estimated an act, without passing to the identity of the child. If to say to it that it “bad, harmful, silly etc.“, then it it also will become. I at each opportunity emphasized that they at me the most beautiful, talented, clever.
The child surely has to have the space. We lived in the one-room apartment and could allocate them only part of a sliding table. But it was their house, their maiden kingdom where we, adults, came only by the invitation.
I managed to impart love to reading it in the early childhood. Every evening before going to bed, I postponed all the affairs and read to children the best fairy tales of the world. Girls very much made thrifty use of books and early learned to read. And now prefer the bound book to its electronic option.
In our house birthdays were always celebrated. For children I arranged children`s holidays, thought out cheerful scenarios and was their leader. We had also private theatricals. I put a chair, covered it with a sheet and … began to invent an instructive story and to play representation.
Early accustomed them to independence. Leaving one at home, I was not afraid that they will do nonsenses. By the way, they were not afraid to remain one too, they even liked temporary release from parental guardianship.
Never forced children is against their desire. Do not want, so did not get hungry. Children it is in this regard cleverer than adults: eat only when they want.
Here, perhaps, the main principles by which I was guided at education of children at early age. Still the Chinese leader and the teacher Mao Dzedun compared children till 5 years to plasticine from which it is possible to mold, anything. These years children were with me, and I could lay in them the foundation of the personality, her base. Of course, they did not receive in addition maternal caress, I was not with them at difficult and important points of their formation, they early had to learn facts of life. But, having overcome all difficulties, they grew up kind, clever, worthy people.
We, parents, have to respect, first of all, the child and do everything that he became a Personality. And children have to nothing to us, they let just love us.