You want in old age a glass of water? Reflect now!
Bringing up the child, we try to impart to him generally accepted standards of morality, but if we manage it fully, all adults would be identical as androids of one generation. And nevertheless all of us possess uniqueness of a snowflake, and it is healthy! But why we are such different? Yes because during education, children are guided not by sample words of parents, and by their acts!
There now, you will think, one more Makarenko poses as. As my child turned out quite successful, I have the right and to poumnichat!
So, we start education of “snowflake“. do not tell
to the grandmother!Teaching
the child that it is bad to lie and that it is better to tell at once the truth whatever bitter it was, at the next moment we ask it not to say to the grandmother that we did to ourselves a tattoo. And why, actually, your mother can be deceived, and the it is impossible? What for so unjustified privilege?
Here and so it is imperceptible for itself we teach children to lie and keep back! But is it really bad? Rectilinear to be unsafe at all times - “Well, wanted to get a philosophers` stone! And what? Interestingly!“ . And the inquisitor understood position at once, friendly patted shoulder, scolded (to whom does not happen) and extinguished the fire. Or the advertizing agent tells the potential client that his goods frank G . It is even not interesting how such employee - everything obviously would last in firm long.
It turns out, we set not such a bad example. In - the first - if the child did not hand over you to the grandmother, so is able to keep secrets (it is possible to take in investigation). In - the second - ability will help “to wriggle“ and keep back with further life not to become the trustful gawk. However, there is also minus - can begin to blackmail. Therefore if you are going to hide a corpse, it is better to do it not at the child (especially considering the grandmother`s increased uneasiness).
the Child, eat an apple!
Why we use so many efforts on education in our child of all to us the known merits? Well, naturally, in order that in old age it did not allow us to dry up and brought this desired glass of water!
That the finished egoist did not grow up from the dear child, we impart to him ability to share. When the peanut tears off tasty gingerbread from heart and, at mother`s insistance, tycht it to other peanut, we are overflowed by pride of the first steps in the right direction. It is even better when foreign peanut feeds up yours - it is necessary to take to be able too. Well, it seems as the system is adjusted, but the beloved grandmother with gifts calls on here. Because grandmothers without gifts are not - it knows everyone. Farther scenario such: our baby with pleasure accepts gifts, carries out audit, chooses the most attracted and begins to eat them. Here mother appears and, reminding the child of rules of a good form, suggests to treat the grandmother. The child at all not against! It not greedy! What is done by the grandmother? “Yes it is not necessary! I am not hungry! Eat, the child, eat“ . In total! All your pedagogics to nothing! No, I, of course, understand that grandmothers have such work - to love and indulge grandsons, but it is worth to remember also about tomorrow.
When my mother so told for the second time, I asked it not to refuse an entertainment any more. If he gets used that the concept “share“ actually nominal, then when nevertheless take an entertainment from it, it will not be prepared for loss! Why to us such psychological injuries?! And then, if the child acquires that the planet turns around him one, he in the future not only will not bring that glass of water, but also will force this water to drag you to it, and from a well which you have to dig out.
the Truth and anything except the truth! the Most difficult children`s questions were always considered as
as i: “And from where children undertake?“ and “And where people after death get?“ . On the first question personally I very much like the answer - in cabbage. Perhaps of course, before children also found in cabbage, however since socialism and on present time of constant economic crises children ceased to be brought there. Or perhaps just grade of some cabbage not such.
Earlier life was clear and linear. Now, when the world became in the 3D format around, and also against all of new information, to parents it is necessary to give answers and to trickier questions. My council - what “slippery“ the subject would not seem to you, answer the truth and only the truth with words, available to this age, but by all means so that the child precisely knew that to what. Bees, pestles and stamens are already naphthalene. It is not necessary to fool them by fine words. Children perfectly understand when you try to wriggle. And if do not understand, to them it is worse! For brightness I will give an example from life.
I had an acquaintance - the doctor of deeply retirement age. And so it has all family physicians too - the husband, the daughter, the son-in-law and the senior granddaughter. To the younger grandson was years 8 - 9 therefore he still had time to be defined. So far the senior granddaughter just gained steam, other family members held the leading posts, and the daughter and the son-in-law were proud of scientific degrees. Generally, not a family, but club of fans of Hippocrates.
And this acquaintance told me a story about herself and her younger grandson.
Having seen advertizing of laying on the TV, the boy asked the grandmother why they are necessary. It was a shame to grandmother to tell the young man about so intimate details of an opposite sex, and she thought up the “remarkable“ version, having told that athletes during trainings and competitions very much sweat and that sweat did not soil a t-shirt, they cling laying on armpits (well it is direct the storyteller!) . The child uguknut - well it seems the grandmother logically speaks. And then - the grandmother is a doctor and worked with athletes many years. Who - who, and she precisely knows!
In a month the child registers in sports section and at the first training in a locker room gets couple of laying and in the face of the amazed trainer and team molds them to himself on armpits! Of course, asked it why, and it, naturally, illuminated them. When tore command led by the trainer from a laughter, the young man weepingly tried to carry to them the (or rather grandmother`s) the scientific point of view. But whether it was not really convincing, whether the team had grandmothers, however how the beginning athlete proved the case, but it only brought a laughter to the level of hysterical neighing.
Well, here is how, it is asked, people of such cynical profession can lie so unreasonably!?
It is, naturally, not all postulates on education of the real person (on this subject of the book write), but these three moments just lay on a surface, and I took them. Grandmothers at me, however, got to millstones, but loving it. I understand - if there are no grandmothers who will indulge our children?
“If to punish the child for bad and to award for kind, then he will do good for the sake of profit“ . Immanuel Kant.
I will go - I will make a good deed...