The WAY TO ATONEMENT of
Vladimir was an ordinary man. Unless loved himself very much - therefore in wives took itself quiet and peaceful Tatyana. There lived their family as all. There were also sorrows and pleasures. The daughter`s birth instead of pulling together spouses, even more them divided. Tatyana - the house and quiet woman was completely dissolved in education of the child, and Vladimir - even more often began to linger on plant where it worked as the engineer. Also friends with beer after work and unmarried little girls from shop which the attention not of the last person at plant flattered were always ready to console the young and perspective man. Women and binge, binge and women - Tatyana raised the daughter one. Unless on holidays their family was gathered at a table. But their family it was difficult to call. Foreign people united by one roof and a surname.
It is unknown how many so would proceed still if Vladimir did not begin to raise a hand against the wife. For the first time it hit Tatyana when that asked it where it was in the Birthday of the daughter. “Where was! Not your business!!! Forgot who feeds you and dresses?!!“ - he shouted to the tear-stained wife and the scared child. About day it just forgot the birth, but not to show, it!!! There were affairs more important - the neighbor bought the car, washed that went well.
After this case of times having crossed line and having felt taste of violence the man began to arrange periodically as he told “prevention in the Basque collective“. Tatyana cried and suffered, but when the daughter in the 4th class went to the first call with a black eye - the patience of the woman burst. Modest, silent, quiet, squeezed as a spring - Tatyana became straight and there was another. Divorce, any reconciliation, section of property.
The court left 2 - x the room apartment of mother and to the child. Vladimir, gradually understanding that it committed follies and was on street, nevertheless it was forced to pack the things and to move down.
So the period of his wanderings began. Accusing the wife and the daughter of everything, it even more often began to seek consolation in a shot glass. Reprimands from the administration, and soon and dismissal from plant. Here it appeared and brides did not queue to it any more. And to whom it was necessary the elderly, unpromising becoming an inveterate drunkard jobless engineer? And if earlier Vladimir chose what bride to make happy with a favorable look, then now and curve Milka the bartender was quite good party.
There were years. Somewhere his daughter grew in one with it the city and there lived the ex-wife. But to Vladimir had no time for them. He did not remember Birthday of the daughter.
Even more often the man began to notice that objects in his eyes appear doubled and blur. Words of the doctor from city policlinic thundered, like a bolt from the blue - “You will go blind soon“. Half a year, and Vladimir became the disabled person 1 - y groups on sight.
The bartender Milka expelled him with words that in the nurse to it it was not employed, she to it not the wife. Then Vladimir remembered the ex-wife Tatyana and the daughter, came to the former house, but there were not glad to it. “Remembered us when any more it is necessary to nobody … And where you were earlier?! In our life you do not have the place!“ - Tatyana firmly cut off.
Vladimir long thought, sitting on a shop at an entrance that happened to his ex-wife where that kind, tender, a little zaturkanny woman who is afraid even to look not so, not that to tell the word.
Gave nothing also conversation with the daughter. “We are strangers. And you to me not the father! I will never forget mother`s tears …“
For small pension to Vladimir had and to lodge at foreign people, both to eat and to buy medicine. The world which lost paints was also cruel. Also the gray colourless days filled with pain and loneliness stretched. Where friends restaurant, the young women who are made up got to? With the trouble and pain Vladimir remained one.
In hospital of the disabled person “ambulance“ took away, owners caused. Exhaustion, apathy and operation standing.
After operation Vladimir lay, having gritted teeth from pain. There was no wish to live. The colourless world filled with pain and loneliness. Suddenly someone`s hand touched his head. “The man, give I to you a pillow I will correct …“ So in his life the sister of mercy - the volunteer Nina appeared. The woman spent near its bed much time. Warmed kind words and an invisible smile. Vladimir did not know how it looks, but it was the lightest and pure in his dissolute life. They spoke much. Or rather, told Vladimir. Once it was solved and told Nina about how he became that whom was now, about the ex-wife and the daughter. Then for the first time he admitted to himself that he is guilty of everything. Nina was silent, listened. “Now you will leave? I am nasty to you …“ “All of us make mistakes. But it is important to realize them and to repent …“
In a month Nina of a visor of Vladimir from hospital to itself home. She looks after him. When it is absent long from work, Vladimir tensely listen attentively to silence behind a door. Worries and worries. Nina arranged to it a meeting with the ex-wife and the daughter, he asked for them forgiveness, and told that he is very guilty to them. Women long were perplexed to such changes in the ex-husband and the father. Really changed and really realized everything?
And when Vladimir fatefully says “I am only a burden for you …“ Nina laughs and answers - “A burden, but dearest and favourite!“
Speak, people do not change inside. But there is a wish to believe that time and vital tests of Vladimir changed it, but not hopelessness of situation. His words about forgiveness it is sincere and he really realized sins of the past. The love, a mercy wing, melted also its ice on heart, having made him other person.