What principles of “a hot plate“?
More than 20 years ago the American management expert Douglas McGregor developed system which he playfully called “the principle of a hot plate“. There are five of its basic rules.
1. If you touch a hot plate, you right there will burn. In human relations everything is more often on the contrary: our reaction to undesirable behavior is not always shown immediately. And often it is necessary to wait for several days until an opportunity to tell other person that we do not approve his acts is presented. Sometimes it so long that other person does not even understand what he receives censure for. Expression of discontent, as well as encouragement, has to be urgent.
2. Punishment of a hot plate works at once. In the daily relations we arrive more often differently: we try to commute the first penalty. Further, if it repeats, we increase a punishment dose. If censure was sufficient by the principle of “a hot plate“, we have less often a need to repeat it.
3. The hot plate punishes only that hand which touched it. We often are fond of emotions and we lose sense of proportion. Sometimes from - for small offense we are ready to remember to the person all his misses and shortcomings from the birth, and even shortcomings of his relatives. As a result we punish “for everything at once“. And it is absolutely unfair. The purpose of concrete censure - to change only behavior, but not the person in general. The act, but not the personality is subject to condemnation. If guilty it understands, then will try to abstain from such offenses from now on. If its advantage is vulnerable - wait for big offense. When you manage to keep objectivity and to be engaged only deserving censure by behavior, your actions will be more successful.
4. The hot plate acts on one and all. Not important, who touches it, - the result is always identical. We often arrive on the contrary: we punish for concrete behavior of one person, but not all who deserve it. Such inconsistency from our party sets others thinking: why one what others are punished for says goodbye?
5. If you touched a hot plate, you have to have a means to weaken pain. We often blame others, without letting them know what behavior is acceptable in this situation. We are fond of condemnation of what is not pleasant to us, and we forget about need to point clearly to the desirable and approved behavior.
If you are remember these rules, you will have a chance to change undesirable behavior still before it can become a stumbling block in your relations, a chronic source of the conflict. If you act as a source of one troubles, it is hard to achieve the benevolent relations: communication will be anyway painted by mistrust, fears and offenses. Encouragement helps to avoid undesirable situations much better. We too seldom say to it about when the person does right thing and well. And if more often to emphasize the positive moments in behavior, then negative gradually decrease. To understand it, it is not obligatory to be the psychologist, many understand it on the basis of life experience. A conclusion is simple: what more we will praise and encourage each other with, that will be at us reasons for discontent less.