How it is possible to raise a self-assessment?
When you feel confident, it gives as a result a freedom of action, courage, force to defend the opinion, the way of life and values. To put it briefly - success. The self-assured person is independent, he is unique and believes in uniqueness of others.
He can feel at the necessary moments above someone`s criticism and insults. He can refuse a request, without feeling guilty. It can openly and sincerely express the feelings and opinions, to speak about habits and tastes. Usually he believes that his words and actions are right, and it is already a lot of. People around appreciate such people naturalness, ease and sense of humour. It is easier for them to achieve the planned objectives and to defend the opinion in the conflict.
Whether perhaps most to give itself feeling of bigger confidence, to raise a self-assessment? The answer - yes. There are several simple councils:
1. Try to leave the house in the best appearance in the morning. During the lunchtime try to look at the reflection in a mirror again, to check whether all as it should be, and last time - when you wash before going to bed.
2. You remember, not all people notice the things obvious to you. Until you do not draw attention of others to what confuses you, nobody will be able to confuse you with it.
3. Be not excessively critical to others. If you constantly note shortcomings of other people and it already developed into a habit, it is necessary to get rid of it as soon as possible in any way. It does not add confidence.
4. The worst that can happen to you is that you will expose yourself disparagingly. If it happened, then and here people around can concern to you with sympathy: you gave them the chance to have feeling of own superiority!
5. Trying to be absolutely unperturbable, you push away from yourself many people. A high self-assessment and emotional coldness - absolutely different things.
6. People more love listeners, than speakers. Constant witty remarks are not obligatory at all, rather simply attentively to listen to the interlocutor, and he will almost inevitably feel to you sympathy.
7. Do not hesitate in conversation. You have the right to tell things and pleasant, and not really (if someone did not penetrate into a topic of conversation or something does not know). Sincerity submits people.
8. You seek to understand others. It is banal, but is true. For example, some people by greedy the difficult childhood, and aggressive - shyness does. If someone with you speaks sharply or reluctantly, you are not necessarily guilty.
9. Try to find the person with whom you can always divide the disorders. Then you will alone not feel in a difficult situation. The friend, dear relative or the expert (the psychologist, the psychotherapist, the priest) can be him.
10. Do not attach great value to those shortcomings which are available for you, or to those which you attribute yourself. In - the first, they are at all. In - the second, the majority of people around do not notice these your shortcomings. You do not trust - make experiment and be surprised.
11. Defend the position not by dispute, and convincing the interlocutor of expediency of your point of view. Quite certain techniques are for this purpose used. For example, it is possible to break conversation into several stages, on each of which your interlocutor has to tell you “yes“. If the partner agreed with you in nine cases, then for certain he will agree also in the tenth. I suspect, rather good literature this subject now.
12. Do not forget that people are interested first of all them. Therefore show sincere interest in the interlocutor, begin conversation on him. Show at the same time sincere attention, emphasize the dignity of the interlocutor, give it the chance to surpass you and you will be rewarded it is hundredfold even if it will take a lot of time.
13. Concede in dispute to the interlocutor some questions or the moments at the very beginning of dialogue. The result - several times the word “yes“ repeated by the interlocutor can extend also to the final answer, and to a result of your relations in the future.
There are also other simple receptions, and rather good translated and domestic literature on this subject - same the become classics “Shyness“ of famous Phil Zimbardo. The only complexity - it should not just be read, but also to practice whenever possible daily. And an opportunity for this purpose is always. Then the self-esteem and success will not keep waiting for themselves long. And high adequate self-assessment to all of us!