How to communicate with the introvert?
Introverts are the people focused on themselves inclined to introspection, deep reflections, to philosophizing. Unlike extroverts who realize themselves through an environment introverts for understanding of need to plunge into the thoughts, experiences, dreams, and for this purpose they need a privacy.
It is important to understand that introverts and extroverts strongly differ among themselves: they differently think, differently look at a situation, eventually, it is possible even to tell that the introvert lives (unlike the extrovert) in two worlds. One is a real world, another - the world of his thoughts. Respectively, these two types of the personality “speak different languages“. The same word or the phrase can bear for them various sense. Therefore I want to address a question of how to understand “the introvert`s language“?
Extroverts cannot often realize that to the introvert it is impossible to interfere unexpectedly. Such act you will push away it from yourself as you will violate its schedule, personal space, will bring down from thought. It is better to make an appointment in advance that the introvert could be prepared morally for it, consider details, important for itself.
Introverts experience difficulties quickly to find the answer therefore in conversation with them it is impossible to demand immediate reaction. If the introvert does not answer, it does not mean that he does not want to talk to you or tries to hide something from you, understand, your interlocutor needs time to formulate the answer. Sustain a pause, you do not hurry.
The introvert spends a large amount of energy during communication, do not kill it. In - the first, the introvert is a vulnerable personality, he sharply reacts to an inattention and can not repeat what was already told them to protect itself from the next portion of “frustration“. In - the second if the introvert nevertheless decides “to repeat“, then he will need additional energy for this purpose. And final waste of energy is fraught that he will just become silent, even at desire to continue conversation.
The introvert regards with awe that he speaks, he puts in it heart and soul therefore not to offend him to show that his words are also important for you, repeat what you heard.
As your perception differs from perception of the introvert, it is possible to ask whether correctly you understood it. Here the main thing to present the question as interest in the interlocutor. It is worth paying attention as the introvert can regard inquiries as your inability to understand it to this moment.
After you listened to the interlocutor, share the opinion. Carefully think over that you will tell. We remember that we the introvert will wound. Externally it will be quiet and reserved, but it does not mean at all that internally it will be also counterbalanced. Your words can cause in it a storm of emotions, but it will not allow itself it to show. He will just remember that you told, and even more sharply, in memory, he will print feelings which were connected with it.
Your partner will be not always ready to take the first step, push him “to revelation“, to that he could unburden to you the heart, authorize to it it, he wants to know that you are interested in it and his opinion. Begin with a question of how there passed it day, give it an opportunity to speak, learn still something. What you asked (in a reasonable framework), he will estimate your interest.
The physiological reason of behavior of introverts is covered that they have constantly high level of electric activity of a brain, therefore, higher excitement of bark, than at extroverts. It is possible therefore introverts are inclined to limit the communication to avoid an extreme point of level of excitement. In this regard it is possible to communicate with the introvert periodically in writing as such way of communication causes less excitement.
Happens to the introvert rather difficult to find a common language, but if it manages to be made, then to you the amazing world of the person who thinks of much will open which never and remains to anything indifferent which is capable to have deep feelings to simple, ordinary things …
you will be surprised!