How to combine incompatible: child and attention? How to cultivate in the child attentiveness since the birth read
in the article “Where There Is an Attention at the Child?“. Now we will talk about another and what to do with the adult child about whom speak - not attentive? It will be a question of age from 7 to 16 years at which since the childhood did not develop attention. To tell more precisely, at such children the involuntary attention prevails. Here I will make specification on idea of attention.
Attention is a process. In psychology the attention as process is subdivided into 2 look: any and involuntary. Since the birth the child has an involuntary attention. The involuntary attention is a mental process as bodies of perception react to influences from environment: eyes (visual), ears (sound), skin (tactile). The child is distracted by irritants. And here any attention is already psychological process as the intelligence (making decision on completion of the begun business) joins and external irritants are consciously muffled by bodies of perception. Proceeding from it, it turns out that any attention at children is a psychological habit which is developed over time. The child is more senior, the more it is required to time for development of this or that habit. But the most important is that, the child is more senior, the more it will be required to parents of arguments to interest the child in desire to develop a new habit.
the Habitual vital picture when the child does something, and the parent under a hand manages to speak to it: “Be attentive“. For what it is told by parents? If the habit “is not developed to be attentive“, then just words will not help the child. It is possible to compare to what you are told; “Be a millionaire“. What will be for you such words? Yes, an empty phrase as you did not do those actions which WOULD make you the millionaire, that is, you have no such habit “to be a millionaire“.
Still is other words which parents like to say to the children: “Do not distract“. And again I address parents: present that to you called words and it is necessary to find these objects. I give an example of words: synchrophasotron, bambarbeya, kerkuda, tomato. For what word your attention will be hooked? Of course, for the familiar word which for you makes sense, and causes a certain association as it to you familiar. And search of a subject will not cause in you tension. Here by the same principle the child works. For the child the word “do not distract“ is the word, unclear on sense, which does not bear for itself specific actions therefore the child himself finds for himself useful effects which not always coincide with intentions of the adult.
Why to spend precious time for a pronunciation of words which become an empty phrase, and to force itself to control the child. From joint communication it is possible to receive a heap of pleasure and other useful feelings.
for this purpose I will describe stages which will gradually lead to emergence of a new habit of “attention at the child“.
1. To define that it is interesting to the child of this age of development. Often parents tell
: “Yes, he is fond of nothing, only of the computer“. At once question: “How nothing, you called any more - the computer?“. The computer is already interest at the child. We investigate further: “What is done by the child when is at the computer?“. If what nature of game plays games? If is online on vkontakte, then what specific actions (corresponds, draws, plays games)?
Such questions we will reach truth that actually interests the child. Example we will take
what became already popular: games - shooter games.
2. To observe actions of the child during game and to find the answer to a question: What feelings or feelings are received by the child during game?
So in game goes war which it is necessary to win, that is to be strong and to pass mission. Of course, the child feels in himself force or power, let illusory, but force.
3. To think over to parents: How it is possible to feel these feelings or feelings in real actions?
In what physical actions can feel force? At first sight: sports loading (run, push-ups, pulling up, press etc.) either a woodwork or to metal (to make objects).
4. To think over a task which needs to be put before the child, considering his interests and physical actions.
In this option can offer the child game in a paintball or a shooting gallery. If the child is inclined more to creativity, then you to parents became suddenly needs a stool which is nowhere. And only the child or you together with the child can make it.
5. To support actions of the child.
IMPORTANT rule: To NOTE ONLY SUCCESS IN ACTIONS and to pronounce that what it …. (strong).
6. To finish the begun business.
7. To clean from the pedagogical moneybox: orders, notations, a command voice, requirements, claims, etc. of
Very much I ask parents: do not wait for instant result. If you talked to the child, and he did not begin to do, then continue to look for options. The child to agree with pleasure if you correctly defined feelings, feelings and development of the child.
you precisely receive result if the indispensable condition is satisfied:
of Action of adults which bring up the child have to be sent to one party, but not as in the fable “Swan, Cancer and Pike“ of I. A. Krylov with their result “. and things are right where they started“.