Rus Articles Journal

How to improve relationship in a family? Love linguistics of

- It is great that it gives me flowers and expensive gifts, but so it would be desirable that in its rigid operating schedule there was time to descend with me in theater or to have “a heart-to-heart talk“.

As often I hear similar words. Or here still:

- I remember how my father with love made a dinner for arrival of mother, and it was the best manifestation of love in our family. And my husband considers that rather just to tell me that I perfectly look that I felt darling.

Happens so that people do a lot of things for the beloved, try, but do not do those trifles without which the feeling of happiness for darling remains incomplete. It is not accepted to speak about it, and there is no wish to spoil the relations. The discontent collects, spouses move away from each other, often clash. Women “saw“ the husbands, without feeling happy, husbands stare at others. Externally, it seems, everything is normal in a family, but both doubt what is loved.

All of us want to feel like darlings, but different people need for this purpose sometimes the most different. And how you understand that you are loved? For someone from us the best manifestation of love is the touch of a favourite hand or passionate embraces, and it is important to someone to hear words of approval and support.

Those which we express the love D. Chapmen called love languages all these manifestations thanks to which we understand that are loved and.

We since the early childhood begin to master them, being guided by our parents: we remember how they show love to us and to each other, as they react to manifestations of love. We listen also to own feelings, we note that it is especially pleasant to us. And as each of us is unique probably there is an infinite set of “accents“ or “dialects“ of these languages.

But nevertheless there are certain tendencies which allowed Chapmen to allocate 5 main languages of love:

words of support;

communication time;


manifestations of care;


We can use them everything, especially at the beginning of the relations when “the feeling of love runs the show“, but further, we use one more often.

How to us to be if we with darling speak different languages of love?

For a start to each of you needs to analyse a question in relation to itself, to remember how the love in your parental family was shown, to think that the most important in the relations for you personally, and about without what to you it is especially bad. It will help to define your main language of love.

Then it is necessary to think of the partner that he / she most often waits from you what tell his / her reproaches, irritation or requests that for him / her the most important in your union about? Ideal option when you do it together, just answer these questions and share with each other.

But even if your darling(s) does not want “to spend time“ on such “nonsense“, alone, having thought over the relations from a position of languages of love, you will be able to change a lot of things. When you understand this question, happy time for tests and experiments will come. At this stage each of you will need to solve two problems: to learn to express the love in language of the partner and to help it to learn to speak your language to love.

I see in research of languages of love a big resource for renewal and development of the relations in a family and I believe that, if I learn to love the elect as it is necessary for it and if he helps me to feel rather favourite , we will be the happiest couple on Earth.