Who “sits at us on the head“ or How to fight against manipulators? Part 2
So, you understood that manipulate you. What to do? If smells of fraud - to be on the lam! Do not allow to involve yourself in unnecessary talk on the street and with unfamiliar people. So far all the most valuable at you, try to appear from the swindler as it is possible further! But if before you the manipulator - the fan, it is impossible to escape - on the contrary, you work with it, live or are even on friendly terms - then try …
1. To stop!
When the manipulator goes to attack, he tries to act quickly, without allowing the victim to come round. You do not hurry to react to its “tricks“ what it was - the angered tone, an unexpected compliment, the promise of a miracle, sharp undeserved criticism or compassionate moaning. Keep self-control. The won time is useful to think why the person tries to provoke you to spontaneous manifestation of emotions and feelings whether also is necessary for you it ? Ask yourself this question, it will help … to
2. To realize and assume responsibility for the actions!
Ourselves make steps on which we are pushed. No matter, that it becomes under the influence of an impulse or pressure from outside! It not “they bad“, we allow to make with ourselves these or those things! No matter, that we do not want to clash or we are afraid that will think of us badly. In the form of the feeling of disappointment, a remorse spent for nothing time and money get consequences to you , irrespective of motives. Having received the, thanks will not tell the manipulator even. Then we with ecstasy tell what unscrupulous, impudent and ungrateful people surround us, receive sympathy and again we walk twice into a same water! That similar happened as seldom as possible, it is necessary ….
3. To resist!
Having accepted “giving“ from the manipulator, we become participants of its game, are forced to do the course. Remember the children`s phrase “I so do not play“ and do not play by its rules! React neutrally or do not react in general. Consciously do not pay attention to hints, implication, rough emotions, terrible predictions. Remember, miracles do not happen! We have full authority to resist to attempts to impose us feeling of pity, inferiority or involvement into problems of foreign people for us. You should not become, of course, heartless and stale. However you will understand and will experience border between friendship, mutual assistance and impudent operation from individuals when you carry out …
4. “Inventory“ of own values!
Understand your priorities, the vital purposes, the relations and complexes. Interacting with you , the manipulator accurately realizes the ultimate goal. He studied (or experienced intuitively) your strong and weaknesses. You should make it for the sake of yourself favourite too. What you want actually? What for you is the main thing? What you receive money at work for? What you are loved and appreciated by relatives? What through time your today`s indulgence will turn back for the child? Understand for what you bear and what you do not bear responsibility for, and do not allow to charge with it you, it is simple …
5. Sound to the manipulator its real purpose and express your attitude towards her!
“Knows to me that it is urgent work, but it was charged to you, and I have tasks for which will ask from me …“ or “I know that you like chocolate and rolls more, but it is necessary to eat meat that muscles grew, and not just the bottom …“
the Manipulator interacts with you according to a certain scheme, model. Working unconventionally, you break this model and complicate to the manipulator its task. Try to behave diplomatically, but it is firm. Your purpose - not to assume that you were used.
Other way to cope with the manipulator: try to receive something in exchange. Demand from the vis-a-vis of counter service, and insist that at first he for you made something. As they say, in the morning money - in the evening chairs. Act softly, but it is persistent. Do not allow emotions to get the best. Having felt that you lose control over a situation, tell that you will return to it later. Perhaps, from the first attempt everything will pass not really smoothly, but anyway costs...
6. To work on itself!
If you notice that you quite often “fall into a trap“ the manipulator, it is worth reflecting why. Whether often you discuss then these situations with acquaintances, expecting from them sympathy and support? Whether not too you are credulous, capable to critical, sober assessment of the situation? Whether it is difficult to control to you the emotions? Whether you what you want from life know? Perhaps, from - for deficiency of attention and uncertainty in the forces you easily come under adverse influence? Ready recipes of internal harmony do not exist, everyone has to pass the way, the main thing -
7. To endure less about it!
Even if in the past someone remorselessly sat at you on the head, there is a chance that for you the situation will change for the better. Realize: the most valuable that you have, - it you are.
Take care, then you look at many things with other eyes.