You eat! Or you do not love mother?
at the time of the kindergarten childhood inspired in us that “good children“ always leave behind a pure plate. And inspiring, did not choose methods - to someone threatened to pour out porridge for a collar (to the author of this article even poured out porridge in trousers once), instead of walk left someone over a plate of the rimed borsch with floating kruglyashka of fat on a surface. And someone all - ate hated fish cutlet alternately with tears.
Why so? Why we were forced food?
our society endured severe famine, war and gloomy deficiency of everything that is only possible.
“You eat while is“, - here installation of our parents.
Moved our fathers and mothers an instinct of preservation of a sort - to feed by all means posterity.
Made thrifty use of food very much. The food was supervalue. In the country which endured hunger, ejection of bread is violation of memory of ancestors.
the Situation changed. And installations remained.
Now we live a lot of food. Also we can already choose. To listen to the tastes. To speak about healthy food and even, holy Christ, to accustom to it children.
We, as well as our parents, want that our children were full and healthy. And also we try to push into them healthy soup and the meat steamed.
But whether the child has the right is so much how many he wants?
I the most terrible - when he considers that he got hungry?
May he be guided not our adult knowledge, and by own feelings? May it is because it is hungry and therefore what is tasty, but not to offend mother or not to offend the grandmother who carried out two hours near a plate?
Since the birth children, as well as at all mammals, have a saturation instinct, the child on breastfeeding will never eat milk more, than it is necessary for it.
Why then we with such persistence push in it more and more a spoon “for the father“ and “for mother“, accustoming to eat in gratitude to us and not to offend also not ogrest of just parental anger?
Why we feel offended when our children or relatives do not eat the food offered or cooked personally by us?
Feeding is a sacred act of love. Cooking and offering food, we offer the love.
When someone refuses our food, it rejects our love. Instead of: “Thanks, but I am not hungry“, we hear: “Thanks, but I do not love you“. Therefore to us to take offense so hard.
What to do?
In - the first to allow himself to eat when there is a wish. And to monitor the saturation. Membership in Society of pure plates still on the automatic machine forces us to eat up to ideal gloss.
to Learn to speak firm, but correct “no“ on offers of love. “I so love you! But I am not hungry now“.
to Grant to the children the right to trust itself.
to Accustom them to listen to itself. To the feelings, desires, tastes, saturation.
to Resolve and encourage (but not to force!) testing.
Can ask both porridge, and toasts, and cheese dumplings, and to eat two spoons of porridge and a half-varenik and to understand that today toasts most of all were pleasant.
But it is not the final choice for all next years, and anew it is possible to try always when it wants.
Together with love it is necessary to offer the child freedom. Freedom to choose, be guided by itself, to have own tastes and to love something not that we love and is considered tasty by us.
Freedom to be itself. Freedom to be another.
And despite it to be sure of our love.