Whether to begin the new relations right after a rupture of old?
of the Situation when we leave darlings against the will - either throw us, or us force to leave that in fact same, - are extremely painful for vanity.
We gave to these relations so much and, of course, we feel injured, deceived, used, betrayed.
Our vanity suffers, the self-assessment is practically on zero, we are visited by panic thoughts like “and that if in my life any more never it is?“ From one this thought it is already possible to fall into a deep depression. We are engaged in excessive self-criticism, a heart-searching, self-flagellation, infinitely we lose and we change last situations, we look for the reasons etc.
So happens both to men, and with women - in situations of emotional injuries all of us are absolutely identical.
Inside emptiness was formed - there long time everything was taken by one person. Not only that emptiness inside, emptiness and outside - communication habits are broken, an opportunity to share with the loved one disappeared - the certain space shouting of filling was formed.
The instinct of self-preservation says to us that it is long impossible to live in such state. We unconsciously seek to grasp some straw that it became easier for us. And the first advice which we get (and the first that comes to our mind) is “to beat out a wedge a wedge“. It is urgent to find new love which as we hope, will become, at last, happy. Not because it is necessary to us now, this new love but because it is necessary to survive - it will help to pull out and will help to forget the offenses caused us.
Primary state after a gap is a panic state. The world, habitual for you, the habitual system of coordinates and new falls it is not built. And here in this state we begin to do feverish gestures on search of new “wedges“ for the purpose of breaking out old. We rush on “first comer“ urgently to raise a self-assessment, often intuitively choosing the one who is ready and plus to listen, help wants to fall in love, to support.
What occurs further? Well, “the wedge a wedge“ assumes as if mutual feeling. Whether it is possible in a similar situation of an emotional trauma and depression?
No, it is impossible. Because we pull for ourselves “tail“ of last emotional experiences which are still very sharp and painful for us. Both men, and the women who recently endured a painful gap already in a few minutes begin to tell often all again met “candidates“ about the “personal tragedy“ - cannot speak about anything the friend. They psychologically still “together“ with “former“ and, speaking about it, subconsciously try “to prolong“ the relations.
And here you decided to begin the relations with the person who to you not especially - that also is pleasant because just you need support. What will such temporary unilateral relations give you? Will raise your self-assessment? It is necessary to have catastrophically low self-assessment that just the fact that we are pleasant to someone, lifted us in own eyes. If so - that is a serious case of the injured mentality.
If to enter “relations“ with the person to whom you are indifferent and to continue their some time, then sooner or later in you there will be an irritation - first of all on itself because you realize that you use other person and contacted it for the reasons which do not have relations to love. There will be an internal imbalance, and the irritation will begin to pour out on this another - though it is not guilty that you do not love it. You will begin to cling, carp, be irritated, to be rude, rude and humiliate the partner, provoking him to that he left.
And what with “wedge“ for the sake of which all was also started? Yes nothing - a wedge which is hammered into you if it krupnenkiya, and remains hammered. Even will enter even stronger as it is sad. In comparison with the partner present, not beloved you, last will is just seem it a hundred times better because to him you had feelings.
It turns out that during this period cannot be done feverish gestures on search of “the half“ in any way. Everything that you will not make now, will be a mistake. You will make the wrong choice of the person, you will be mistaken in ways of creation of the relations with it. And if you do not fall in love (and you not will fall in love, your heart is not free yet) - means, you will just use the person who loves, is open and therefore it is especially vulnerable. Moreover, you can begin to hate it for all that harm which you do it. But the main thing - this deception of another you will destroy and destroy yourself.
In the nature “the principle of a boomerang“ very accurately works. For similar it is rendered by similar. Not at once, not now, not tomorrow, but your acts will return to you a hundredfold, and the blow is necessary on the most sick. Sooner or later there will be absolutely mirror situation. You betrayed - will betray also you. You deceived - will deceive also you. The destiny always “otzerkalivat“ our acts. There will come day, and you will fall in love again, and you will be used the same as you used someone once.
Whether it is worth setting up under himself this mine and to tempt destiny? Or rather, most to start “the boomerang“? Do not try to survive on others - in you there are all necessary resources to cope with a situation!
They say that nature abhors a vacuum. But the place has to be really empty. It is not broken yet the old emotional connection new will not arise.
And yours will not leave you - will be with you. Have patience and be ready.