Education of children. It is good or bad when parents have opposite opinions?
Probably, many married couples came to a conclusion: “What we are different!“. And it concerned many questions including questions of education of children. And whether it is good? Whether the fact that parents have different views, different approaches to education and development of the children is good. Perhaps, it is better to be, as they say, one team, to preach the same principles? Let`s understand on examples.
the First example
Sooner or later the child begins to ask parents various questions. Than the child is more senior, especially it puzzles with serious questions parents. From type questions: “What is it?“, the child quickly enough turns to type questions: “From where children undertake?“ or “Why the moon does not fall to the ground?“.
How parents behave in these situations? Someone begins to explain to the child, itself tries to give him the answer. Books and the matter diligently are sometimes bought understands together with the child. Anyway, the answer is.
Someone from parents will unperturbably tell that you already adult and are time to understand to you this question, and for the help can read books. In such situation there is no confidence that the child will find the answer to the question.
Different approaches? Absolutely. What of them is bad and what is good? As it is strange, but there is no definite answer. Let`s consider each of approaches in more detail.
In a case when parents answer questions of children , explain them the unclear moments, raising of the authority of the parent in the opinion of the child happens will - bondage: “Wow, what father (mother) clever!“ The child feels, including, and a certain security from parents. Among questions there can be also hidden problems. And parents resolved them. The child has a fine feeling of safety. It is quiet and balanced.
In a case when its send most to look for the answer to the question , it develops independence, ability to look for decisions in various situations is developed. What cannot be told about the first approach. Besides, if the child really is interested in the answer to the question asked them, then he is capable to find the answer. If it did not find it, so not so interestingly. Parents in this case can reveal tendencies of the child to something, for example, to equipment, to natural sciences etc. of
the Second example
Almost all children are fidgets. They play much, run, fall. And here the child got the next graze, a bruise, at it blood flows.
How parents behave? One throw everything and rush to the aid. For them there was a terrible tragedy. They are ready for everything to help the child who is calmed apply various bandages etc. of
Others look at the offspring and ask it: to rise, suffer silently, nothing terrible occurred and to go home for independent processing of a wound. For boys usually still add: “Suffer, you are a man“. For girls often add: “Princesses do not cry“.
And again absolutely different approaches. And again it is impossible to tell which of them is better. In the first case the child feels that it is loved that care for it, to it is quiet, and about a wound is quickly forgotten.
In the second case of the child teach patience and firmness. Teach that on trifles to be upset and the more so it is not necessary to cry. All these grazes, wounds is a simple ordinary situation and, unpleasant, but it it is just necessary to worry and move further.
In each considered situation different approaches, but … they are absolutely not superfluous. Besides, they perfectly supplement each other. The child needs both caress, and love, and their external manifestation that the child saw it, felt. The child also needs independence, hardness, inquisitiveness. And how he will learn it if not practically?
Therefore it is not so bad that parents adhere to different approaches to education of children. Most likely, it is even good for children, they have everything for full development.