How it is correct to be angry with the child?
When young mother for the first time are covered by irritation on own child, it causes in her confusion and sense of guilt: “I am bad mother“.
Strange, we it is crazy about the child, but his dirty tricks can cause in us strong flashes of rage. Calm down, to be angry - it is normal. The rage is sometimes very useful feeling. The main thing, is correct to handle this feeling.
The reasons the rage can have a set. This powerlessness and despair from own helplessness: young mother not always manages to calm heart-rendingly shouting baby or “to find a justice“ on the hooligan.
Irrational flashes of rage can appear also for fatigue of mother, and from disobedience of the child, and from troubles at work, and from unsuccessful conversation with the neigbour. This list can be continued more and more. Here it is important to understand that to be angry - it is normal.
Growing up, the child becomes more and more equal partner in communication. It, as well as any other person, can anger or upset you. But it does not mean that the child “wants to mock at you“. It owing to the age is simply not capable of it.
If you do not show it the negative emotions, it will be difficult for it to learn to react adequately to emotions of the peers and to reckon with other people. And after three years the kid is already able to understand that other people have interests which they will advocate. Therefore to show to the child that you are angry with him, it is necessary. The main thing - is correct to do it.
How it is correct to be angry not to break mentality of the child, but at the same time to calm a small bezobraznik?
First of all, do not restrain, waiting for a terrible outcome: “Everything, to patience the end came!!“ Tell at once what is not pleasant to you and why. Voice to the kid the feelings: “I am angry“. It will serve as a good example for the child. And, perhaps, he will say next time “Too I am angry!“, but will not start a toy in a wall.
Being angry, do not accuse the child: “You bad“, “Goof“, etc. You remember, “as you will call the ship, so it also will float“. Besides there is a danger to drop doubt grains in soul of the little man: “Or perhaps I am not loved because I not such …“ Your child not bad, he arrived badly. And it is a big difference. We abuse the child only for his behavior! The kid has to understand that your discontent does not mean his full trouble.
It is not obligatory to raise the voice when you are angry with the child. Try to swear in a whisper or … being silent. Sometimes demonstrative silence will quicker explain to the violator of behavior your feelings. Well, and if emotions overflow, knock with a spoon on a table or on a pan. It not only will serve as a signal for your kid, but also will help you to calm down considerably.
It is better to assert the rights in communication with the child from a human position: it should not reckon with you not because you “are more senior, is cleverer and stronger“ but because you the same person, as well as it.
Adults feel feeling of proximity, sympathy and relationship of souls to people with similar vital values. Our values genetically are not transferred to children. The child is ready to adopt them from that person with whom he is connected by that love, proximity and relationship of souls.
Therefore the your interrelation is stronger, the easier and more willingly the kid will apprehend your values.
Do not break this interrelation the inability to be angry with the child.