And you are able to accept compliments?
It is simply amazing as we, women, constantly absolutely automatically “nullify“ ourselves in talk with people around!
We instantly depreciate compliments which we receive, we hurry to tell all as far as we are far from perfect, we as though beg people around: “Well, you see, agree with me that I am absolutely not so good!“
How many women in response to “As you look good today!“ “Thanks“ will just answer and will lovely smile? No, we roll up eyes and we hurry to report that: 1) we all night long did not sleep today therefore eyes red; 2) we have a wild migraine and in general …; 3) the head is not washed already God knows how many; 4) we in general did not manage to make up today …
“As to you this dress goes!“ - “Oh and that you! He is 100 years old, I pulled out him from mezzanines today, and it is bought still in the middle of 80 - x …»
“To You Very Much to the Person This Hairdress!“ - “My God and I in general practically did not comb hair today, so hurried!“
, From where it in us? We what, sincerely we consider that we cannot admire? We seek to prove to the interlocutor that he is wrong because we actually think that we cost nothing?
No, of course. We love compliments, and to us very much and very pleasantly. Why we absolutely automatically, for a second without having reflected, we hurry to assure of the return? We hurry “to nullify“ told, right there completely depreciating ourselves?
I think that it in the Russian and Soviet woman is put by education and orthodox culture. Not “Diamonds - the best friends of girls“, and “The best decoration of the woman - modesty“ - here the motto accompanying on life of our mothers and grandmothers and introduced to us since the childhood.
Not Scarlett O`Hara was for us an example, not Liz Taylor and Ava Gardner, and silent and modest images of Turgenev heroines and on - Soviet fervent, deprived of a seksapil Nadezhda Rumyantseva`s film images. These images programmed our attitude towards themselves since the childhood.
Therefore and “Oh and that you!“ takes off at “our“ women absolutely automatically, at the unconscious level while at the level of consciousness we just want to tell “Thanks“. Besides, we just to were not taught to be a woman every minute of the life. There were no such tasks in the Soviet society.
About “harm of Orthodoxy“ for education of women I will write separately. Now young little girls do not read either Turgeneva, or Pushkin any more, and Cosmo and Hello read … So is not present - and they have the same! Recently in the presence of 23 - the summer girl the subject of fashionable trends of this summer was touched. “Oh, no! I cannot wear long dresses - I have short legs!“ - the girl hurried to tell all (at which leg absolutely normal).
And it is far not amusing - depreciating itself here so, “on a trifle“, we not simply continue to program in ourselves dislike for ourselves, we program people around, including men, on that also they began us to depreciate! In the same history with devushkiny “short legs“, there was no person around who right there would not look at her legs, wishing to find confirmation to the fact that they and the truth short. Though before such thought just came to nobody to mind.
In the relations often there is they are we completely “we open“ and we confuse the man to the girlfriend, continuing “to nullify“ ourselves daily slightly. “And I have in this dress not really short legs?“ - the guy`s girl asks. It is our loved one, he, of course, will understand everything correctly!
We expect that he will understand: actually the girl specially now slightly - slightly belittled herself, as if “for check“, she just wants to be convinced that she is pleasant, to hear in reply that it the most beautiful on light and in this dress, and in another, and is better in general without dress!
But men are arranged in a different way. In the long term they do not undergo similar “testing“.
In several years the man will sincerely consider that it and the truth has short legs though when they got acquainted, her legs existed the most attractive. Also there will come the moment when this man tells it something like “Well, it is better for you not to put on it whether for girls with long legs …“
the girl at this moment Will understand it that put the zeroings program in the man? And this program, so far as it is started, it is very difficult to erase and put new on its place.
The man scans our harmless remarks as dislike for himself which has bases.
If this is so concerns itself, so and I can also treat it, and even it is worse. Our self-assessment answers such relation with gradual, but steady falling, forming true dislike for itself.