Whether there is a sex in Orthodoxy?
Let`s address sources at once. Namely - to a church calendar which regulates life of the orthodox Christian to household details: for example, when the food with vegetable oil is allowed in a post, and when there is no. But we are interested in another: when it “is possible“ and when “no“. I hope, guessed what there is a speech about?
So, it “is impossible“ during posts, on Wednesday and Friday, on the eve of twelve great, temple and great holidays, Sundays and a Christmas-tide. After simple calculations it turns out that for sexual communication - notice, only venchanny spouses and only for a chadorodiya - about 116 days are allowed in 2011. If to assume that not always these days there is a wish to have sex or not opportunities for this purpose, then it turns out that with sex in Orthodoxy big trouble.
And how to be to nevenchanny spouses and just people with normal reproductive ability or to venchanny spouses who just “want“? It is necessary only - to repent one of a sin of fornication and to long for this occasion. Moreover, a sin the lascivious thought, that is thought on sex is considered. As the priest who served twenty years in church I can tell the reader that considerable part of parishioners do not pay attention to these bans and repents of a fornication sin formally. And if feel at the same time sincere discomfort, then only from own hypocrisy and absurd of a situation - repentance before the priest in receiving natural pleasure.
But the most part of Orthodox Christians under the influence of church perceives own sexuality as the greatest sin and desperately fights against it. As a rule, in this fight wins sexuality - for the present the nature stronger than violations of it. In this fight the nevrotization of the person with gradual transition to a possible psikhopatiya is result of loss.
What we find on Orthodoxy relation to sexuality in church sources? Very expressively prayful “Rule from defilement“. It is read when “it happens to whom be tempted in a dream“, that is to test an orgasm during a dream. In this “Rule“ praying asks the Lord to relieve it of sexuality which is called “as a stake and filth corporal“, the body which tested an orgasm is considered dirty, leprous and filled with an ulcer. Psychological consequences of such prayful practice are obvious: the deep internal conflict, alienation of a body with its needs of nature and as a result - a nevrotization of human life.
By way of illustration negative attitude of church to a corporality and sexuality of the person the woman can give a church ban during monthly to come into church. However, now in some arrivals this ban extends only to participation in sacraments. At the same time the general negative attitude to a corporality and sexuality remains. From the psychological point of view, perhaps, in this ban the fear of church consciousness of the natural female nature living under the laws is shown.
And now lives of Saints. Most of the Saints glorified by church made a spiritual feat - gained virtues and struggled with passions. The victory over lascivious passion, that is over own sexuality was considered as one of the major achievements. To it the Reverend John Climacus (the 7th century) wrote about spiritual edification of wards of monks: “… I appointed [him] to pass silent life as the vrachestvo counteracting fornication and a stench carnal sewage that to them in a pathetic way not to turn from reasonable creatures into dumb animals“ (“Lestvitsa“, 8 - 18). It is a sample of the typical monastic relation to sexuality. The literary example of such relation to own sexuality is well-known according to L. Tolstoy`s story “Father the Sergy“.
From numerous - if not uncountable - biographies of Christian devotees we know that they or all life struggled decades with sexual desire and not each fighter won a victory. Most often there was a draw, that is for some time “the lascivious passion“ ceased to disturb, and then was made a fresh start, already all life.
To the same story it is subordinated if it is so possible to tell, sexual life of very many modern orthodox believers. Becoming the church orthodox believer, the person snatches on own sexuality in aspiration to destroy it. The sexual desire for some time manages to be inhibited, and then it flashes with a new force. And so can proceed all life. To be spent for this fight the huge amount of mental energy - fight is conducted with the nature.
And if the person is anxious with fight against own sexuality, then it is impossible to tell at all that he is free from sexuality. On the contrary, he is completely involved in sexual experiences, absorbed by own sexuality, at the same time hates it and suffers from impossibility to get rid of its power. Speaking to language of analytical psychology, he lives own sexuality in the form of denial. What is it? I Will explain on a simple example.
Now summer. Normal, natural accommodation of this season will be, for example, in putting on in easy summer clothes, to happen more in the fresh air, to sunbathe and bathe. But summer it is possible to live in a form of its denial. For example, to hate heat and the sun, to put on in winter clothes and to stay at home about the included heater. The heatstroke and violations in work of an organism can become result of such accommodation of summer.
In the same way the orthodox tradition suggests the person to live the sexuality in the form of its denial: “Sexuality should not be. All forces on fight against sexuality!“
So whether there is a sex in Orthodoxy? Yes, is, and there is a lot of it, but it is shown in the perverted, pathological form - in the form of denial. Consequences of such “sex“ are declines in quality of life and numerous neurotic frustration. About it I can speak with confidence as the priest with a twenty-year experience.
Why people choose such “sex“? The reasons are the most usual: the fear of sexuality which is taken out from a parental family; the psychological injuries connected with unsuccessful sexual experience; shortage of resources for full-fledged sexual life. The church surely and authoritatively declares that sex should not be that it is bad, and the sexual loser finds in church native to it Wednesday in which degrades even more.
The valid, Christian attitude towards the person consists in helping it with overcoming of vital difficulties including sexual, but not to strengthen his suffering, inspiring that sex turns the person into “a dumb animal“.