Ersatz - communication or Why we do not say that we think?
“Children and fools speak the truth“ …
On one of versions this phrase has a bible origin, on another - has nothing in common with the Bible and is only the translation of a Latin saying. Not an essence important. The main thing - its sense: children do not lie.
All of us it is from the childhood, so all of us once were sincerely and are truthful. Once long ago. And what happened then?
And then we grew up and learned to lie. And now we lie to all, always and everywhere: the family, friends, colleagues … to
On the one hand, to our close people not always needs our truth, and sometimes - at all is contraindicated. (Mark Twain about it even has a remarkable phrase beginning words “Nobody could live with the person who is constantly telling the truth...“)
on the other hand, we already so got used to deception that it is insincere even with itself, in own thoughts! Our “adult“ life is a fake, continuous properties …
Ya for the first time thought of it when it began to write … In my head the set of thoughts and ideas which were just torn from it outside crowded - only sit down and manage to write down! It would seem, nothing difficult in displaying on paper or to nastuchat own thoughts on the keyboard, having turned them into letters, should not be. But not here - that was …
This task appeared not such idle time what saw at first sight. Actually, little changed and now: for some reason at the moment when there is a need for outpouring outside, there is an unclear stupor, thoughts do not want to lay down on the white blinding surface in any way … and even somehow change as if pass through a certain filter!
… As it appeared, not only before me there is this problem, and “the sincere striptease“ for many is excessively difficult business. Why does that happen? Why the bulk of people tries to adhere to golden mean in judgments, to avoid extremes, and only units afford courage to speak openly (and especially to write) about the true thoughts, feelings and the relations? That really think of people, events and life in general, without hiding for opinions of authorities and without washing away a sense particle general phrases? Why all of us show to a thicket each other lifeless, is smoothed - the brushed ideas and reasonings, and the real opinion forever remains behind seven printings of personal diaries, and even does not leave consciousness limits?
Reflecting on it, I came to a conclusion that put not in some “terrible secrets“ here, and in the simple, banal fear living in everyone - fear of condemnation, rejection and misunderstanding … The society so crushed us that we already got used to lie each other, and we do it easily, without reflecting. The artificial smiles, cold words of formal politeness, feigned masks which already almost grew together with the real person whose lines we and hardly distinguish now and... games, games, games.
We lie just like that, without the purpose to deceive really, being just automatically protected from the world, masking lie the vulnerability , and in fact - the “íàñòîÿùåñòü“. We are surrounded by the world of picture poses: numerous television current - show, the “sensational“ reportings on pages of a yellow press which are pulling out someone else`s dirty linen on the general review and savouring intimate details … Today it is difficult to remain a riddle. There is a resistant feeling of dissolute permissiveness of the dirty hands and languages, without demand climbing to you in soul more and more. It is no wonder that in this situation somehow there is no wish to open voluntarily … at all
But nevertheless we live in society, so - we interact and we communicate with each other: houses, at work, at institute, on the street, in policlinic or shop whether in public transport or in cafe … to
the following situation Is familiar to you? “Hi. - Hi. How are you doing? - it is normal. And at you? - At me too … Well, it is time for me. So far“. Usual dialogue of two incidentally met people. They talked, but each other told nothing … Also went further, everyone on the affairs, in thirty seconds having forgotten not only about a meeting, but also about existence of each other … So we live every day, so we communicate with each other. Reflect for a moment - what we tell to people and what we hear from them in reply? - che - go. One empty, nothing the meaning phrases. Communication without communication.
Yes, all people different: different characters, life experience, habits and fears … And for the majority of us ability to verbalize the thoughts in usual everyday life without distortions of the internal censor so forever will also remain difficult business.
But at least for the sake of those whom we love and those who, in turn, love us let`s try to leave the cozy protective sink of lie and we will begin to speak sincerely .
At least sometimes.