Summary. How to ask for work for the USA?
of the Summary
of the applicant on receiving a position general counsel Gusev B. S.
Ya, Gusev B. S., was born in the quiet and green town of Moscow in 60 - x years of the last century where I live almost in the center for an index 105043. It is possible to specify date of birth at my current employer, the director of all public catering in Lakomka cafe though he also does not speak in Russian, but the person very good and the passport promised to return.
District police officers (the militiaman and doctor Sergey Nikolaevich) concerning the passport are informed by me, and I, in turn, am informed by them on the account in some institution with windows, they told that it is labor exchange. It is unclear only, why at labor exchange to me prick painful pricks and force to drink unsweetened tablets, and from work suggested to wash only the floors in a female toilet what I with pleasure agreed to, but till lunch because then I in “Gourmand“ am necessary, there too floors after a lunch dirty, visitors will apply so much dirt that horror.
I graduated from school in 1998 already divorced man and at once arrived on law department of MSU to a position of the plumber. Having graduated in 2000 from MSU at the same position for small theft, I began to work as the general counsel and in 2002 in the list of the richest people of the world, the made Forbes magazine, took the honourable 5 879 432 574 place with a revenue of 4156 rubles 54 kopeks, having been ahead of the wife by 53 kopeks - the cohabitant Zina, the parasite and the prostitute. For operating time the general counsel I replaced 145 organizations and took part in 145 trials which I lost, having gained extensive judicial experience. This experience was useful to me in my subsequent 57 processes which I lost too, having again gained experience, the son of mistakes difficult (yes, I write verses too).
After that the general counsel in Moscow I for work was not taken even the janitor on the market, but good casual acquaintances offered a position of the chief accountant in the Ivankorp company which was engaged in any business. Three months later there something it happened and the Ivankorp company stopped being engaged in any business, and I was sent to important business trip to the Chita region where I also spent the next three years of a general regime with confiscation.
During business trip I got acquainted with the famous economist Khodorkovsky who willingly began to go in with me for mathematics, economy and law. In three minutes after the beginning of occupations of g - N Khodorkovsky suggested me to dig out the underground tunnel to Israel and to leave the Chita region for the purpose of continuation of education at the Jerusalem university as I am devilishly talented.
I began to dig immediately because when still I visit Israel, but unknown men in the uniform approached me at once, took an interest in health and made the physical remark rubber bludgeons then I was hospitalized and did not return to business trip any more, and returned to Moscow on the living space on the index stated above for the purpose of obtaining disability which I and so had after falling from height of own growth on a booze in the second class. From documents by this time at me were the military ID of my wife - the cohabitant Zina and her children`s drawings on which to get a job it appeared very difficult. I was consistently not taken the general counsel in the Kremlin, in a patriarchy, in the Duma and in FSB therefore I also am forced to work in Lakomka cafe just as the lawyer, but with strange duties.
Dear Barack Obama! Having hired me the general counsel of the USA, you will get not just valuable and sensible worker having huge communications in the business world of Pervomayskaya Street (Vanya from the 28th apartment, Ruslan from 33), but also is crystal the honest person loving a rap, basketball, the Afro-Americans and always guarding everything. The people like me entering the list of the richest people of the Forbes magazine what I already wrote above about, stop stealing as there is nothing and there are no need though the excess ruble will never prevent. Also do not forget that I will arrive to you from the country in which severe fight against corruption is conducted and for bribes put all, despite of positions. Even the deputy for a bribe can be put to the place of the mayor or the governor, and the mayor or the governor will be exiled in far and if a bribe big, then and to the warm country.
And the last. A salary in 4 it (is crossed out) 5 7 thousand rubles (are crossed out) crossed out) dollars crossed out) by euro 8 thousand in some worthy me to currency (are crossed out), plus the food, clothes and accommodation at you in the White House quite will suit me. The wife - the cohabitant Zina I can take with myself, but if you have what there is newer, it is more nice also flavourless, in punishment she knows for what I will leave in the Russian Federation and I will visit on Wednesdays charter flights, but not every week, I am not iron.
It I transmit the summary using a convenient opportunity through one familiar Georgian by nickname the Armenian, it all the same from Russia is sent and it to your regions is going to work. You help it at first there, but man purses, the and wives, far away you hold, it generally on them works. I ask to note my amazing literacy which I reached, daily analyzing fairy tales of peoples of the North in a toilet at the Yaroslavl station.
I wait from you for the positive decision on phone 367 - 47 - 21 additional 2, Irina to call after a lunch, to call Nina Sergeyevna, and she will already call me if I am not drunk.
Yours faithfully, sincerely yours, Gusev B. S. who was born in the quiet and green town of Moscow in 60 - x years of the last century.