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About Boris Lvovich of

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Boris Lvovich works as the smith. It cannot, without forging. And, when forges, everything can do, drink especially - to smoke so he forges seldom, only if the corkscrew breaks. As the corkscrew will shape, will open for them everything that is necessary, will drink, home will go and again cannot, without forging. And to forge - that already nothing and from where in militia the forg? It always for some reason as the corkscrew will shape, in militia appears. His wife already and to psychiatrists drove, and to psychics with shamans - nobody helped, even doctor Malakhov with the shishechka - needles. The forg - a corkscrew - militia, such here traffic. And after militia home will come, sad everything, hungover, on a sofa will lay down and sport looks. Very much he likes to watch sport. Volleyball, chess, field hockey … However, hockey separately, grass separately. And when hockey with a grass come to an end, Boris Lvovich begins to remember the life. As he in the childhood ate ice cream. As entered some institute. As dreamed to become the smith, but at first the father became. And as he bought the car, for nine thousand rubles once, but it for some reason did not go anywhere. And the refrigerator bought more expensively, for ten thousand, here it after field hockey left. And never returned still. The wife Lena very much then swore, Boris Lvovich even wanted to throw it, but from a sofa could not get up. And could, precisely would throw out. Though, on the other hand, the wife a thing good, it is a pity to throw out. And loves Boris Lvovich, understands that he is talented in everything. Especially, of course, in vodka, for as suffers. Well do not love talented people in Russia, it was so long since moved. In hospital some ridiculous will be put, droppers navtykat, and sometimes - the worst! - drinks begin to hide. It still nobody knew that Boris Lvovich grows up fresh-salted cucumbers under a bathroom. Not really, however, at it it turns out, but how to be told, Zhytomyr too was under construction not at once. Something there already ripened, but not really fresh-salted and not really cucumbers. In a week it became clear that the national discontent from below ripened there. A few Boris Lvovich went too far in watering and all future cucumbers flew down on the floor down and there already ascended, probably. Because neighbors precisely ascended and long rang a door, but Boris Lvovich with Lena hid for two days and even did not take phone. Though Lena in a whisper loudly swore all these days. Said that if Boris Lvovich cannot, without forging, let goes to the forg and forges there, but fresh-salted grows up not cucumbers, especially under a bathroom. And that it should be handed over in one well-known clinic with yellow walls where will make the person of it. Boris Lvovich answered it that the person he was made by mother with the father about fifty years ago though as they admitted then, more they wanted a kitten therefore named Boris. But it will not grow up fresh-salted cucumbers any more if the first time it did not turn out. It at all any more will grow up nothing because the person intelligent. He even tram to order cannot call the boor, only quotes “Kama Sutra“. The boor on him a mat, and Boris Lvovich in response to a jade staff sends. And if the boor “Kama Sutra“ did not read and does not know where this staff is, then Boris Lvovich also can show, he has nothing to hesitate, at it is that to beauty.

Such here interesting personality my former friend Boris Lvovich. Why former? And it as this rasskazik read, at once and me sent to a jade core. But I did not take offense. Writers always difficult lived in Russia, and died of it often. Tolstoy already died, Chekhov, Gorky … And Boris Lvovich me, I hope, will forgive also an ogradka to me then skuyot. Or a knife, fish to cut. It cannot, without forging …

Ilya Krishtul