The Cinderella`s complex or How to return from the fairy tale to reality?
the Cinderella, the heroine of the famous fairy tale, - the character inspiring little girls, an embodiment of big and pure love, the winning kindness all intrigues of enemies. In the childhood many represent themselves Cinderellas, dreaming of the Fairy, the gold carriage and, of course, of the Prince charming.
Unfortunately, the Cinderella`s complex existing at quite adult women forms passivity, dependence on people around and a low self-assessment that does not contribute to happiness in family life in any way. To modern Cinderellas also not to see success in other spheres of life, they always count that the one who on wave of a magic wand will be able to change immediately their life will come to the rescue, and they need to have only patience and to wait.
However expectation of the future happiness can drag on for the rest of life...
Signs of the modern Cinderella
is simple to Distinguish the Cinderella. As well as the heroine of the fairy tale, it is modest and is content with small. It is difficult to diffident Cinderella to resist to those who abuse her kindness and patience. A great number of Cinderellas work at boring low-wage jobs, it for them is simpler as there it is not required to take the responsibility. In general, it is difficult to make important decisions for the Cinderella, she prefers to rely on more self-assured people.
The fear to appear without any support forces the Cinderella to behave according to expectations of the people surrounding it. Trying to please all, even contrary to own interests, she constantly has sense of guilt for the fact that she made something incorrectly. The Cinderella often does not realize what her true requirements and desires and that she wants from life.
Perhaps, rather conscious aspiration of the Cinderella her future happiness with the Prince charming is. She does not complain of the hard life and continues to work hard, putting all the forces in dream of Prinze. The romantic Cinderella in tons absorbs female novels, secretly sobs over melodramas and lives in hope of a meeting with the half after which her life for certain will become happy.
A little about Princes
the Most tragic in destiny of Cinderellas is the fact that all of them meet Prinze. Here only … its differences from the fairy tale character turn out so considerable that only the naive Cinderella with a lack of life experience is capable to make out in it Prinze. And to fall in love carelessly, trying to awaken by power of the love in it the real Prinze.
The Cinderella does not spare herself, entirely absorbed by the relations which become only reality, significant for it. She sincerely wants to become even better, even more gentle, is even more attentive to the elect. However sooner or later Prinze grows cold to her unconditional love and care, he feels that he literally chokes in these excessively close relations. Also leaves. Or remains, having switched to own interests and frankly neglecting the Cinderella.
And our fantastic heroine from - for the passivity continues attempts to keep the relations, sometimes for long years, refusing to accept reality plunging into despair and a depression more and more deeply. Or still lives the same dream - about a meeting with Prinze, this time present.
If you are a Cinderella...
What to do to those who recognized in himself the Cinderella?
Already the fact that you recognize existence of a problem and you try to find the solution, half brings closer you to it.
The main thing what it is necessary to pay attention to all Cinderellas to, it they - their personality, their requirements and desire. Low self-assessment and orientation to opinion of people around force Cinderellas to refuse more and more from themselves, force them to believe that they can reach happiness only thanks to the Prinze as in itself do not represent anything special.
Actually, Cinderellas possess a number of fine qualities: they are benevolent, sincerely, are careful, are able to forgive. At the same time absolutely themselves not appreciated, having focused on the shortcomings.
Any techniques and trainings directed to increase of a self-assessment and to development of self-confidence will be very useful to Cinderellas. Of course, achievement of noticeable result will demand many months, however it costs the spent efforts. For more rapid progress it is worth asking for the help the professional psychologist.
Painful fixing of Cinderellas on dream of Prinze it is destructive influences their life. Why to get an education and to build career if here - there is this fatal meeting? Unless Prinze needs the independent and successful Cinderella who does not need rescue from the angry stepmother at all?
Each Cinderella needs to present the life without Prinze. As she will live, than will be engaged if Prinze so never also appears. Perhaps, she will want to devote herself to some important issue, to achieve progress in work, to find new hobbies.
It what it also should do. And Prinze surely will appear. Later. When the Cinderella becomes the self-assured woman knowing what she wants from life and not counting more on Prinze.
The former Cinderella will precisely know now how her to become happy and successful without it, in itself.