Fear - the ally or the enemy? “Kings“ and “pawns“ of
“You know what should be made? To depart, simply to step aside. And then... to tell loudly: “And I know!“ That he understood what you know...“ (Yury Koval, “The lightest boat in the world“) Honor
everyone at least once in life should speak “yes“ when there is a strong wish to tell “no“. The inability to speak “no“ is capable not only to upset personal plans, but also to make the life miserable of the person, it is easy for them to impose foreign will.
Tendency to a manipulation - not the most attractive line of the person. As a rule, the people having serious personal problems resort to a manipulation. According to E. Shostrom, in each of us there lives the manipulator which infinitely applies any false tricks to achieve for itself this or that benefit. At the household level all of us in some measure of the victim or initiators of various manipulations. It is sometimes amusing, frequent - in a disgusting way, but, in general, not fatally. So far it is about manipulators - the laymans which are not invested by the power and not having big ambitions.
The devil way to achieve the objectives by means of fear when other ways are powerless, is known since the most ancient times. Brilliantly great dictators owned art of manipulation with the citizens, quite often awakening their low instincts in people or, on the contrary, appealing to the noble feelings with one purpose - to generate the fear giving the power. From the main instinct of self-preservation the fear turned into means of a manipulation other people.
Among numerous classifications of fears the most laconic is a division of fears on constructive, that is representing the natural protective mechanism, and pathological which are the inadequate answer of an organism to irritants and can lead to psychosomatic violations.
Among social fears first place is won by fear for close people. The person, itself capable to sustain any tortures, is ready for everything if only to relieve of tortures of the person dear to it. The manipulator, having felt taste of the first victory over the victim, it is convinced of efficiency of the behavior as Pavlov`s dog who received a delicacy. Each new victim supports by the complaisance the manipulator, strengthening his confidence in efficiency of the found way of influence.
Whether perhaps to resist to the manipulator? And what price?
The ancient Roman hero Mutsy got Stsevol`s nickname that is meant by “lefthander“ after burned the right hand on coals. And he made it because enemies were going to torture him with fire. In such terrible way Mutsy deprived of enemies of their only trump - fear of torture. Shaken, they released the hero and left the occupied city. And Mutsy became famous in centuries.
Possibly, Mutsy was not only the courageous person, but also the great psychologist. He solved manipulation of the opponent. And any manipulation becomes pathetic and useless if it is solved. In general, in any interaction at all seeming variety there are only two options of succession of events.
It is reaction , that is the most natural reciprocal action for which from you wait and, perhaps is provoked, impose you obviously losing behavior model. In most cases we willingly fall into a trap the manipulator and we behave as to it and it is required.
Other behavior meets seldom. It was also shown by Mutsy Stsevola. It is an action , that is the independent, but not imposed by others action destroying all plans of the rival. And it is not obliged to be such extravagant. Sometimes rather not expected answer, the non-standard decision.
When Louis XI wanted to get rid of the court astrologer, he asked him: “How many years you needed to live?“ The astrologer understood that he got to a trap: if it predicts to itself(himself) long life, the king to disprove his forecast, orders to kill him. Will predict to itself fast death - the king with pleasure will confirm the forecast. The answer of the astrologer overset all plans of the king. The astrologer told: “Your majesty, I will die three days before your death“. After that superstitious Ludovic had to cherish the astrologer as the apple of the eye.
All this was in old kind times when manipulators were childly ingenuous. The modern manipulator is continuously improved. Special technologies are developed, methodical grants are published, trainings are provided. And each manipulator appears object of more large-scale manipulation. Only he does not guess it. He thinks that he uses someone, and actually use him.
Why there is a wish to turn away from the beggars passing on the subway car? Why there is a wish to escape from professionally smiling person who needs “to push“ a thing absolutely not necessary to you? Because you feel that manipulate you, you are used. Consoles only the fact that you are capable to control a situation.
How to resist to it? For a start - to realize that impose you not peculiar stereotypes of behavior, inspire thoughts which would not come to mind, cause emotions which are necessary not to you, but someone to another. To filter, otrefleksirovat these states, to understand that - yours and that - imposed from the outside, so to remain the person, independent in thoughts, feelings and acts. Until it occurred, we are “pawns“ in someone`s game. If “pawns“ make the majority, it is easy to keep them in obedience. In concentration camps several German soldiers could conduct thousands of people in gas chambers. The behavior stereotype excluding the slightest attempts of revolt was imposed to prisoners.
The outstanding German psychologist and the philosopher E. Fromm asks a question: “ How became possible that the strongest of all instincts - a self-preservation instinct, apparently, ceased to motivate us to act? “ answers
I itself it: “ One of the most trivial explanations is the fact that our leaders take the numerous actions giving them the chance to pretend that they take effective measures for prevention of accident... Actually no serious changes happen, but also heads and directed lull the consciousness and the desire to survive, creating visibility of the fact that the way to rescue is known to them and that they are on the right track “.