How to get rid of “a box - dependence“?
Presently, except drug addiction, alcoholism and tobacco smoking, such serious illness as “a box - dependence“ gained very big distribution.
It is pathological dependence of the person on viewing of quickly replaced pictures on the television or computer screen. Symptoms of this illness following:
- spends all the free time of people, having stared in treasured “box“;
- the person sincerely believes that what is shown on “box“ - it is real life;
- if process of viewing of “box“ is interrupted by something from the outside world, then it causes strong irritation “a box - dependent“ the individual;
- such person never admits that it “a box - dependent“;
- the dependence it will call precisely a hobby (imagine that the alcoholic at employment in the column of a hobby and hobby writes: I like to drink with friends in the noisy companies);
- sometimes such dependent person forgets that it is necessary to eat food from time to time, to go to bed, go to work, to love.
Why more and more people want to run away into the virtual world from this reality? Matter in phobias and subconscious children`s fears and complexes? Or some serious unsoluble problems hang over these people? Or perhaps it is fear of loneliness? Or inability to realize too big ambitions? And, actually, whose ambitions should be realized: personal or imposed by parents?
What to do if your spouse, the friend or the child - one of such “a box - dependent“ people? How to help it? And whether it is necessary to help it?
Level 1: To talk
Well, everything begins with recognition of the obvious facts which you cannot ignore, and near which it is difficult to you to live. This conversation not from pleasant. But to be silent and take offense is not a way out.
It is not necessary to accuse anybody or to present with a choice. Just try to understand why the person so behaves and what is not enough for him in life. Whether really he suffers from sociophobia, or a number of failures in private life made him such apathetic. Perhaps, something in your behavior in relation to it forces it to run to the virtual world.
Level 2: To distract
needs to be Distracted unostentatiously and gradually. To find to such person a real hobby - a task difficult, but it is worth trying. It is necessary to warm up in the person any interests, even the most fantastic, the main thing - that they had no relation to “box“. It is necessary to use simple trifles: to put a puzzle, Rubik`s cube, a puzzle near the place where the person usually indulges in the “box - dependence“... In a word, to give some logical work for his brain and fingers. To try to switch gradually the person to some board games: cards, chess, a backgammon, monopoly …
If dependent agrees to keep you the company in game or some occupation, it is already big progress, one small step on its way from “box“ to real life. As it is a ladder conducts up, and the way of ascension on steps is much more difficult, than descent down, each small achievement should rejoice. There is a lot of steps, and rise on each new means new small achievement in life “a box - dependent“.
Level 3: Not the serious pretext will be required to bring to the street
for this purpose, it seems “to descend behind bread“, and something entertaining, for example “to ride a bike“, “to take a walk in park“, “to descend in bowling“. A visit of cinema - not the best option because in this case you just suggest to look at another, “a big box“.
If this action took place successfully, and “a box - dependent“ could even derive from it pleasure, then it is worth going outside in similar occasions more often. It is possible even to make from this tradition. Then your “patient“ will wait for the next exit and to prepare for it. So, will begin to plan some events in the life.
Level 4: To encourage
In order that the person drew some conclusions or defined the purposes, it needs approval of people around. It is necessary for it before decision-making, but not later. Each person is eager that he was loved and accepted it what he is, but not for the fact that he in life achieved something.
So many parents demand from the children that those got an education, found well paid work, chose the “correct“ profession in life, were near the “correct“ people. To whom is it necessary? To parents. For satisfaction of their own ambitions. It is not necessary to cultivate these ambitions in children, help them to define better and to develop their abilities.
Level 5: The new hobbybusiness is to liking not as simple to Find
to itself as it seems to much. It is necessary to try for a start so much! And not all attempts will be successful. How many disappointments wait for us! These are very difficult steps through which it is necessary to pass, and alternation can be such: one step up, then unsuccessful attempt and three steps down. And here again it is necessary to begin anew: from the first level.
Level 6: Attempt of overcoming of obstacles
If at the person is the accurate purpose, he will maniacally aspire to it, bypassing and overcoming any obstacles in the way. If the traveler gives up at the first failure, then it is obviously not his purpose. Therefore when determining the purposes it is necessary to learn not to deceive himself. It is not its ambitions, not in the one whom he wants to become that mother with the father were proud of it and people around envied it.
Not there is a speech about satisfaction of own vanity, and about receiving pleasure from process of any activity. Therefore find what pleasant to engaged more, than to look in “box“.
Level 7: Readiness to study
New activity demands the related new knowledge. Everyone decides to study independently or at other people -. Anyway the desire to study speaks about gravity of intentions. Difficulties will be - it is necessary just to get used to this thought.
They say that parents who try to do everything and to solve for the children from their infancy, doom the offsprings to even more difficult and difficult life. Actually problems at all people typical, just one got used to solve the problems, and others wait when they help them. Process of expectation is dragged out by the solution of problems and removes a problem to the level of “unsoluble“.
Level 8: New friends
Ability to get new friends are not at all. A large number of friends says that the person not really well understands people and too superficially estimates them. Absence of friends demonstrates to what the person trusts nobody as in life he often had to be disappointed in people.
Need to have at least one friend is caused not by the fact that this person for you made or is ready to make, and what you already made for him. It turns out that the friend is a person for whom you will make everything, without demanding anything in exchange. The friendship is disinterested. But not everyone is ready for disinterested acts for the sake of foreign person. Perhaps therefore some have no friends? They sit and wait when someone for them makes something, then they will call this person the friend.
Level 9: Estimate the forces
As far as you will be enough? And how far you will be able to come? How long, for example, you will be able to fight from “a box - dependence“ native to you the person? To what moment hands will fall, and you will just step aside with words: “Well, well. It is your life! Do, as you wish. I will not disturb any more. Also I will not help too“.
In our world there are a lot of indifferent people to whom to spit on us. And every year these indifferent to become more.
Whether there will be you one of these indifferent to facilitate to yourself life?