How to get rid of the daughter-in-law? A bad advice of the mother-in-law
Many women faces this problem: you bring up, you grow up the sonny, nights for the sake of him you do not sleep, you stick as damned to provide to the beloved child vitamins and education, and some trash, and here - he not your krovinochka, the sonny beloved, and her HUSBAND, and you - not mother of the excellent son, but her MOTHER-IN-LAW suddenly is!
It is possible to reconcile, of course. Eventually, children grow, and to the son as the normal person, needs a family. And the trash if to look narrowly properly, not such and lakhudristy, and very much even the quite good girl. And in general, it is not obligatory to feel like the mother-in-law at all. Just the number of children increased. There was one boy, and now - one boy and one girl. Besides, grandsons will be. Absolutely remarkably!
But humility is for weak. The strong woman, the real mother has to fight for the son, but not give him recklessly to everyone there which only and dreams of the apartment, the car, giving or simply - bought the naive boy the constant readiness for sex.
The daughter-in-law it is possible to survive. However, for this purpose it will be required to make efforts especially as some maidens it is surprisingly thick-skinned. But if properly to try, then even the most thick-skinned will divorce your son through a two-three of years of happy family life in your company. At the same time for your son you will remain loving and (that it is even more important) beloved mother.
You remember: it is not necessary to dissuade the son and to say that his wife - an assemblage of all defects that she does not suit it and so on. Accept the daughter-in-law with open arms. Do not take in head to show even a discontent shadow. You in every way have to show that time your son loves it, time he chose it in the wife, so for you there cannot be the best daughter-in-law by definition.
Define the main shortcomings of your daughter-in-law. For example, your family - exclusively city, hereditary intellectuals and so on. And here she grew up in the village, and her parents that is called from a plow. Sigh for this occasion. No, it not discontent! It only sympathy to the poor girl who got on Wednesday, alien for herself. But, of course, you to it will help to adapt.
Talk to the son and the daughter-in-law about her shortcomings - it is obligatory with both at once, you do not want that there was a suspicion that you dig under the daughter-in-law, “blowing“ various negative into the son`s ears. Do not forget to point that shortcomings are not essential at all, and you use the best efforts to help to get rid of them. If at the same time the daughter-in-law declares that she does not consider everything by you listed by shortcomings at all, it is better for those. It is a reason for you to sadly sigh, tell that you meant well, but they are, certainly, absolutely adult and independent people, and can solve the problems. Then immediately leave young couple, let will have a talk together.
Your daughter-in-law has to have a rest as much as possible. Why to it to trouble itself? Young, still will manage to work enough in the life. So if your son has to leave for work at eight in the morning, your task - to rise in five and to begin to strive on economy. You have to make a breakfast to the son and the daughter-in-law, to collect “ssoboyka“ and so on. If the daughter-in-law suggests to be engaged independently in a breakfast, send her to examine sweet dreams.
Do not take in head to admit the daughter-in-law to kitchen or cleaning. It is your care. If suddenly there is a question: “Mother, well you so overstrain, let Lena (Sveta, Katya, Masha) will help you“, - immediately be upset and you say that housework - your only entertainment supporting health and good mood.
Care for clothes of the daughter-in-law. If suddenly it needs some blouse or shoes - immediately rush to buy.
To go behind products - too your care. You can take with yourself the son (that helped to inform of heavy bags), but not the daughter-in-law at all (she was tired, she needs to have a rest).
Invite on a visit the daughter-in-law parents more often. Arrange cheerful feasts on the occasion of their arrival. Surely prepare everything. It is especially good if the son with the daughter-in-law gathered somewhere that day when guests of honor are expected. Explain to the son that it is impossible to leave in any way, it means - to show disrespect for the wife`s parents. If the campaign was planned in advance, sympathize with the son, but “What to do, it is her parents, it is necessary to sit“.
By the way, money “on economy“ has to be at you - you go shopping, care for fullness of the refrigerator and so on.
Try to be to the son as much as possible. He goes to service the vehicle? Go together with it to gas station. The daughter-in-law let stays at home - she was tired, she needs to have a rest. If it is not possible to force it to have a rest in any way what to do, take with yourself, but do not allow to sit near the son. Still will sit for a long time.
If through a year and a half of such dolce vita your daughter-in-law does not ask to be allowed on divorce - your daughter-in-law is thick-skinned, and it is necessary to replace tactics. Well the sudden illness, not too heavy, but which interferes with you to be engaged in economy still approaches. Now business of the daughter-in-law - to rise at five in the morning, to make breakfasts, to clean the apartment and so on.
At the same time do not let go family cash desk, distribute all money for house expenses. You are ill temporarily, and it allows you to feel still necessary for a family (explain it to your son and the daughter-in-law - it is as much as possible benevolent that they like your feelings).
Surely help the daughter-in-law in all that she does. If she makes a breakfast - rise and with a tablet in hands be on kitchen to help. The daughter-in-law does not know where and what lies and furthermore is not able to build the elementary sandwich. It needs to show everything. Try that the son paid attention to your dedication.
Do not forget to remind periodically the son that he as the married person, cannot lead a former life (for example, to run to drink after work of beer with friends). And surely you say that his wife needs the help (“She did not get used to drag on herself yet all house so you have to help it! »).
Courageously suffer in the face of the son and the daughter-in-law. Constantly send the daughter-in-law behind some trifles which can facilitate your life (for example if in the house it is full of some oranges, send it behind apple). At the same time refuse the help of the son (“Darling, can buy it only the woman!“ - even if it is about aspirin packing).
Take all the time of your daughter-in-law. If earlier it had too much free time, now let will not be in general.
At most a year - and your daughter-in-law will run away. And the son loving you will not get to anywhere - he cannot throw sick mother moreover for the sake of whom, for the sake of the ungrateful wife!
Also you remember even if at the daughter-in-law suddenly any miracle will turn out to drag off with itself your sonny, then all of you equally hammered a solid wedge into their relations. And this marriage will not last long. After a while the son will return to you, and the daughter-in-law will remain as speak, at peak interest.
Small nuance. If your son - the person resolute, then is better to reconcile to existence of the daughter-in-law at once. You unburden the heart, complaining of it to girlfriends, and you will manage to keep love of the son moreover and to nurse with grandsons.