Sex “but needs must“. To refuse or agree?
“At them one-track mind - sex!“ Usually so speak about men. To women after they returned from work and “finished“ with trivial household household chores, already quite often not to it.
Did not add bright paints to family life and the fallen-down world crisis. On the contrary - aggravated already available problems. Whether before sex? But men demand the. Was called the wife - execute a conjugal duty. How to be? To cross through themselves and to concede to the husband or to reject the proposal of the spouse, having explained that there are neither forces, nor desire to make love?
This problem of floors is not new to sexologists and long ago is studied. Their acquired experience will also help to draw the correct conclusions.
Scientists claim that after five years of a matrimony of only 4 of 10 sexual contacts it is really possible to call desired. Unwanted for the woman the proximity can become not only from - for fatigue or a physical indisposition. It is no secret, that women - creations emotional and distinguished. Therefore any trifle can affect desire. Men think absolutely in a different way. For the majority of them sex - vital requirement. Main instinct.
For the woman the main thing in marriage are good relations in a family. Signs of attention of the husband, sympathy are important for it. It excites it and adjusts on the sexual relations. If the woman of it feels nothing, then there is no desire of proximity also. The spouse, in turn, considers it as a female whim, desire to change it, having refused sex. “Wars of floors“ such very often come to an end with the fact that the man on the party finds the girls ready without problems satisfying his sexual imaginations.
A lie that men leave only the grown old and ugly wives. They are pushed away by indifference and routine. The feeling of abandonment forces them to doubt the man`s force and they look for women who will return them former confidence and psychological comfort.
Why the wife who at the beginning of family life made love to pleasure pushes with the behavior the spouse in embraces of other woman now?
of the Problem and sex
Sex lost a former charm. Earlier it brought both a lot of joy. From only one thought of it heart with pleasure clenched. And now the passion disappeared. Everything is predictable and ordinary: a shower, the book or the TV, a convenient bed, a kiss “on duty“ and - a back to a back. Rules of decency are followed by the phrase well familiar to all: “Something the head ached“.
The matter is that women in marriage grow cold quicker, than men. The main reason - life which mercilessly “kills“ to the romantic of the relations. In a day it is necessary so many to manage to make everything that the head really goes around!
And here men are not able to understand why women do not want “to relax“ and derive pleasure at the end of the working day. It is possible to postpone anything, but only not sex. Probably, from the point of view of men, this is true. And from female? Whether it is always necessary to concede?
Four justified “no“
Unwanted proximity affects a female organism. Sex “but needs must“ has the negative consequences. Let`s list four main.
1. Compelled sex can dull feelings. The woman will cease to distinguish the real desires from compelled. The proximity with the spouse becomes boring, and thoughts of it - unpleasant. As a result - discontent with, life and a depression.
2. The libido decreases. Occupation by love for the woman becomes a duty. She tries to avoid it under any pretext. It is clear, that she can often have sex and want to do it - seldom. As a result - frigidity. There is a conviction that sex is necessary only to men, and the woman is necessary to them mainly as object for occupations by sex.
3. There are gynecologic problems. If the orgasm is, then and the reproductive system works, and the woman is healthy. If it is absent, then in bodies of a small pelvis there is a stagnation of blood, and there are various gynecologic diseases.
4. The woman loses attractiveness. After desired proximity the woman shines from within. On her look it is possible to understand that it is happy. And if she forces itself to have sex, then looks “dimly“. Mood always suppressed. Irritability grows, apathy to everything appears.
What to do? How to be?Sometimes really should be spoken to
“no“. It is impossible to have sex, when there is no desire. However if the similar state drags on, it is necessary to take measures. Try to include imagination. Dream up. When the imagination comes to an end, sex becomes unwanted.
Also it is not obligatory to leave occupation by love for later at all. All the same you will not redo all affairs. Better it is more attention to pay not to things, but relations. You speak to yourself more often: “It is my beloved. I fell in love with it many years ago“.
The love is a work. Work of two. So you work on health, understand and you love each other.