How not to be mistaken by search of the soulmate? Again about true happiness of
there is a parable about happiness: a certain young man came to the wise man for the answer to a question - that such happiness. To his surprise, the wise man was not a hermit, and lived in the big palace where constantly there was a weight to the people. The wise man told the young man to wait for the turn and to go to walk on the palace, previously having given it a teaspoon with two drops of oil.
Towards evening, having bypassed all palace, the young man came to the wise man again. Whether “You saw all beauty of my lock?“ - the wise man asked. “Yes, the palace is magnificent, but I would like to learn the answer to a question of happiness“ - the young man answered. “Look at a spoon which I gave you, - whether you spilled oil?“ The young man saw that he spilled. “Try to walk once again on the palace and watch, not raspleskay oil“ - the wise man told.
The next day the young man walked on the palace again and towards evening appeared before the wise man. Whether “You saw all beauty of my lock?“ - the wise man asked again. “How I could look around if I watched to spilling oil from a spoon?“. “And so, - the wise man told, - the palace is a world around, society. The spoon with oil is you, your interests. Having completely forgotten about the interests, giving itself to society, you spill a spoon with oil. It does not bring happiness. But going in cycles in itself, you do not see world around, people, it will not bring you happiness too. A conclusion - needs to be found harmony between the interests and interests of society, egoistical and altruistic bents, then it is possible to find harmony and happiness“.
The parable is good, but how to find this harmony? Really, whether people will reach for the person to whom above all he, his interests which with anybody is not considered, except itself(himself)? It is unlikely. And the person - the altruist who is not earning due reward for the work will be hardly happy too.
So, really it is necessary to do “business - partnership“ - “you to me, I to you“, for example, in such sacred vital phenomenon how love? But how to be with that, since bible times the known truth what true love sacrificially? In that is that everything and put what to serve disinterestedly each other, without demanding anything in exchange both persons have to, otherwise, “game in one gate“ surely will lead to offenses.
But such relations are possible only ideally. And to us, sinful people what to do? I will make a reservation at once that the universal answer to this question cannot be given. But nevertheless, to what it is worth paying attention by search of the soulmate, the satellite (companion) of life, so it - whether it is capable it (is capable) to respect he(she) you . For example, if does not want to go on compromises in disputes - does not respect your opinion. Constantly conceding in disputes, you “spill oil“. Today looks at you, tomorrow on other person of your floor - besides does not respect you. Gossips behind your back? There it is expensive.
It is not the full list of examples, it is possible to continue the list indefinitely. But also you if you consider that everything has to be only in your opinion, show disrespect too. The true love appreciates each other. The person respecting you will not become “a stubborn donkey“ since loving you, he will understand that always insisting on the opinion, counter with yours, it thereby afflicts you. If he considers the views only correct, then it is silly.
To re-educate the person who is not respecting you very difficult, it is almost impossible. Therefore are on guard when you make the choice, and be happy!