How to communicate with “office vampires“?
If you work in collective, then it is necessary to be throughout all working day in an environment of people. A commonplace when one or several people cause in you irritation. How it is correct to behave that at inevitable communication with them not to have a stress?
It is quite probable that only one some trait of character can irritate and you should communicate with such person not for long, but the feeling of discomfort and exinanition can pursue you throughout the day. People who plunge us into similar states are called power vampires. And not to hide, not to disappear from them! It is just necessary to learn to react and bridle correctly on them the nervous system. Let`s try to conform to those rules of conduct which psychologists built for us.
to Moderate arrogance of an aggressor
is not simple to stand when near you there is a person overflowed with rage. It can, darting off, to rush on the room, to shout, swing hands or to wait and at the inopportune moment, most for you, “to sting“ a sharp word.
How to be and what to do? Councils of the psychologist
If you at this moment sit, and “aggressor“ hangs over you, then it is necessary to rise that this person did not suppress you. Stare, but it is short, to it in eyes and quiet tone say: “You are right. You have all bases to become angry“. The first words will stop a rage stream. He wanted to tear and throw. And you did not give such opportunity to it. When aggression slows down“, it is necessary to continue: “Speaking to such tone, you offend me“. In some way similar words pacify the unrestrained person. It would seem, he also was adjusted to offend other person, but to admit it there will not be enough courage. to Exaggerate
- it is so large-scale!
Unfortunately, but people who are afraid of the slightest changes in life are. From them they panic. Usually such type of people is greedy for rumors. Like to conjecture a situation. The alarmist winds himself and others, drawing the most inconceivable pictures in the imagination. After communication with such uneasy person, you feel alarm and powerlessness. The mistake is made by those who try to tear off a flow of the negative imagination roughly. Alarm level at the alarmist only increases. And through some time everything will repeat.
How to arrive?
needs to ask this person quietly: “What disturbs you?“. To listen though it and is difficult, up to the end and to ask a question: “And whether there is other scenario of events?“ If such turn in conversation does not calm the alarmist, ask the following question: “What specifically now you can make to change a situation?“ Usually come to a conclusion that there is only a patient expectation of an outcome of events. Or the person finds quite suitable option and acts. And actions, as a rule, extinguish alarm.
And to talk?with
People - chatterers very much tire. Their ability is amazing to speak, speak and speak. Not important about what if only not to be silent. They sometimes and ask themselves a question: “What am I telling?“ It is such feature of mentality: to think aloud. The tediousness such person can bring to white heat any.
What to do to listeners?
to Put a rigid framework! When the verbal stream begins, stare to the talker in eyes and call by name. The pause is provided. Use it and offer the following: “Formulate, please, the most important that can be told in half-minute“. Or so: “About details - later. In what an essence of your idea?“ If the verbal whirlpool tightens you, then suggest to take a break, and after it allocate for discussion five minutes. As a last resort, it is possible to refer to employment and to suggest to express the idea in writing.
Around one enemies!
Sometimes, that the person took a dislike to you. He constantly grumbles, snaps, laughs. Such behavior cannot but hook.
Your reciprocal actions
Usually people follow the principle - as the call, so the echo. As a result - hostility only amplifies. You should not sort out the relations. Let`s try to make on the contrary. Neutrally - rhetorical tone ask a question: “Something happened?“ If “passions“ do not settle, continue quietly: “I feel that I irritate you. How I have to change the behavior that you became better to treat me? “ In most cases quiet tone and an essence of a question throw the opponent into confusion. As a rule, he got used to act stealthily. To direct and open talk it is not ready.
And to us all the same
People of similar philosophy do not like to communicate, do not interfere with anything. For them it is indifferent that around them occurs. They are indifferent, rational, cold. Are not able to sympathize and empathize. It is more pleasant to them to deal with machines and automatic machines, than similar.
How to react? it is better than
in any way. Leave such person alone. If all - you want to communicate, then ask to analyse the situation interesting you. It is quite possible that get a valuable advice.
I am very best!
Such people like to be in the center of attention. And behind the price will not stand. Their continuous boasting that they have always all the best, awfully tires and irritates.
Counter-measures them call
isteroidny. Here the heavy artillery is necessary, as they say. At first it is necessary to agree with this person: “Yes, of course! Everything so at you is remarkable and healthy!“ Differently you will not be heard just. We apply sharp tone further: “But all were already tired to listen to your proofs that you super - super - super. It is not necessary to force ours to confess force!“ It is deeply simply impossible to wound the word of such person. Everything that is not connected with a praise, in his head for a long time does not settle.
Arm with councils and protect nerves. Comfortable to you feelings and it is as much as possible good people around!