Rus Articles Journal

What is love and as to struggle with it?!

So what is love and how to struggle with it? Yes, and in general, whether it is necessary to resist to such great feeling? Now my answer is obvious, but earlier...

Being the vainglorious and put on airs person, I considered that to me only the prince, and on a white horse can make couple. Appearance, money, the authority - qualities which had to be present at each elect. When to you sixteen even how the scarf is put on, matters. I tried to be fashionable, watched trends, never wore shoes only on a heel, and, not under what circumstances dared, to mix yellow with green. My obsessions pursued me everywhere: from the street to a toilet, and from a toilet to the street. Generally, turning in this whirlpool of paints and chic, I missed the most important - feelings. When the guy approached me, I could on - grin and leave boorishly and if the friend wrote that he terribly is in love with me, I thought out nonexistent baizes about the fantastic prince. But, the devil as, I was not right! And not that did not try to force to fall in love with this unfortunate, and that at all refused to believe that it exists.

Of course, this indifference was not born at the same time with me. There was a history preceding it, even three.

History first.

I could not live, without call of the friend. It seems, then to me was eleven... Not important (though very much and very important!) . We together studied, together walked, together roared over “Titanic“, strangely enough, but, once, everything changed. At me was - and is - the best friend with whom all mine directly intertwines lifelines, both good, and bad. In the love relations, the second option was shown. Than? Just it is irresistible: beautiful, clever, charming and to indecent sociable. All reached for it: both grandmothers, and the grandfather, and mother, and the father, and girls and guys, what is the most important. As a matter of fact, my friend was caught in this net too. Everything ended with the fact that our talk began to incline only to one subject: how to force Yulya to fall in love. It was painful to me, it was offensive for me, but, fortunately, this history ended. Ended also quickly, as well as began. I just stopped thinking about Zhenya...

Though, and there is a hitch.

Denis. The new pupil at our school. Then to me was years fourteen. He was not really beautiful, and is not clever at all, but is madly charming. All little girls drop stacks to his legs, and at the same time did not lose the advantage. As ill luck would have it he began to communicate with our coalition, and it deserved my respect. Cheerful, talented - Dan was just highlight of the program! He was my personal hero whom I is proud held up all as an example. And then he, admitted in one of discos Yul that it very much is pleasant to it. And here, again I in a knockout.

History number three. Stora lavas, deleted from my life nearly three years. And, here, surprisingly, Yulya was not involved. Here in general nobody was involved. Just once, after the next scandal with Sasha from - for wrong Ava “VKontakte“, I understood that it strongly is pleasant to me. Silly? Ha! It is nonsense, and in any way differently. Other question is that it also not indifferently concerned also to me. Even it is ridiculous... I as the idiot just shut up, having decided that it is not obligatory to say directly to it the truth at all, quarrels began with it and waited. Views, smiles, electric charges, shyness, bad laughter - my daily set of attributes which was able used Alexander. And what further? And further, on my birthday he left for competitions. I was terribly upset, just could not find any peace! But these feelings turned out nothing, in comparison with what occurred, hardly it arrived in a week. Not one arrived, and with the girl, from our school which earlier did not notice at all...

So, after all this, I resolved that such luzersha as I, have no right for luck and in general the love exists only at cinema. Examples from life, any more not from mine supported my arguments, strangely enough. I shed bitter tears, revising “Moulin Rouge“ for the 100-th time, and then went to school and hated all who occurred to me in the path. I considered the subjects surrounding me as people not of the grade.

And so proceeded very long. Day, two, three...

Apathy could last eternally, but once everything changed.

I went in a minibus from additional classes on English, and sat down on the favourite place. Then by tradition, closed ears wires and included on a full depressive melody, the The end or Lithium type. The gazelle sharply started, and my legs slipped forward, having faced something firm. Having puzzly come up from the world of the imaginations, I looked before myself, and noticed the smiling guy. The person was an acquaintance. Even very much...

Stas studied in my parallel from the first class, however, we never communicated, but this moment me seemed to such darlings! Our legs faced, and we smiled each other the whole trip... Ekhkh... Unless not a plot for the next melodrama?

Then greetings during changes, silly smiles, and the strangest questions which I ever happened to hear in life, it seems:

- You bought cabbage for lunch?

Or:

- Aaaa..., I - that thought at you two girlfriends. And them?

Also proceeded recognitions at friends where I live, and confidential inquiries about why I did not come to school.

Generally, I was simply absorbed by this game which had to precede something bigger. Even it dread to think that to me it happened if Stas fell in love with Yulya, or suddenly found to itself the rich girlfriend...

But...

It is history number four. History which continuation I want to see and which end is unknown to me. The main thing, now I understood: everything is good in its season. It is impossible to despair. Actually, as well as it is impossible to look for hysterically couple, asking the Lord before going to bed about the rich, smart prince. It is just necessary to be itself...

The most ridiculous conclusion which I ever drew in the life, but it, damn it, such correct!