Whether yours is the psychologist?
On “Channel One“ go series “Group of Happiness“ where young psychologists, wishing to earn additionally and help people, bring the professor to indignation. Despite diplomas, they make mistakes and do what is forbidden to psychologists. Who is not mistaken, you will tell? However it is correct to choose the psychologist also important and difficult, as well as the partner in life. Having learned to see mistakes of psychologists, you will not entrust the soul in unreliable “hands“, is more faithful - “brains“.
There are some gross blunders:
“To catch up and cause good“ , i.e. to break the main commandment of psychologists: “Do not ask - do not climb“. It is shown in requirement to teach, give advice even where do not ask. These are frequent manifestations of the beginning psychologist or person interested to become them.
Gives advice . The good psychologist never gives concrete councils, and only helps the client to realize his problem and brings most close to an assembly of possible versions of decisions. Anyway the decision is made only by the client. The bad psychologist will begin to advise at once and many, keeping saying: “I had Vasya Pupkin with just the same problem …“
Pity to the client . In - the first, pity - humiliates, and in the relation the client - the consultant does the client weaker. But the purpose - that at you another - to become stronger. Isn`t it?! In - the second, I will quote the academician M. E. Litvak: “Pity usually arises to the person about whom you a low opinion at the extramental level“. And whether you need the psychologist who already to you is negatively ready?
Nevrotizm . The good psychologist has empathy, i.e. susceptibility, ability “to get into a skin“ the client. But at the same time it has to be released from a situation that will allow it to be objective. The neurotic psychologist all will plunge into what he “sees“, he will change mood, it will be reflected also in your state, you will feel all drama of the problem. By the way, the neurotic psychologist at the expense of you will begin to solve the internal problems and requirements. What? For example, will raise the self-assessment, the importance, the status, image, will resolve the material issues.
It is necessary to , Fedya, it is necessary! “As you do not want to be engaged more? No, old man, so much still remained not worked problems - the field untilled“. Here it should not be definitely. The good psychologist helps you to deal only with that problem which you sounded, and will never begin to impose the services against your desire. Only you have the right to solve when to graduate. The bad psychologist - besides everything also the greedy psychologist. Therefore will try “to milk“ you. The more at you money, the more problems at you will be.
likes be pleasant to all and not have the conflicts. Contrary to ordinary opinion that the psychologist has to be pleasant to the client, should look at result. If the problem though on an iota moved a little, became though something is clear, it is a sure sign that “guru“ not for nothing eats the bread. By the way, even to recognized professors enormous turns do not queue up, and to charlatans, charging not a smaller fee - it can be seen. And all secret in manipulation with consciousness of clients.
of Sinusoidnost . The psychologist is wiser and kinder, the scope of manifestation of his moods is less. Does not fall into euphoria, into despondency.
External wellbeing in everything . Many psychologists are clasped on all buttons, are afraid to show that they have problems. And all have them. Being trained at professor Ginzburg M. R. and his wife, professor of psychology, the winner of the State award too - Ginzburg Evgenia Leonidovna, witnessed as they naturally show mood (without sinusoids), frankly speak about personal vital problems which passed.
Ruthlessness and categoriality . Yes, there are cases when “shock“ therapy is necessary, but in work of the psychologist it is rather an exception. But here is how personal manifestation, traits of character at the psychologist, this, unfortunately, frequent phenomenon. Some, without seeing the character, can climb “kersey boots“ in soul and hurt very much others. Tactfulness and care - first of all.
Training in egoism . Often the psychologist having personal problems complexes will learn to love himself, to work on external giving, to manipulations … These “candy wrappers“ are important presently too, but they do not treat mentality, soul of the person. Only the deep psychologist will find problem “roots“, and for this purpose it is necessary to have already fundamental knowledge what not at everyone is enough for “tyam“ for.
beautifully and unclear tells . The good psychologist does not decorate the speech with unclear terms. Time has to be spent on “blamestorming session“ of the client, i.e. search of its mistakes, but not on search of common language. By the way, the honest psychologist will refuse carrying out consultation if he initially notices that the client does not understand it or distorts told them, or it is worse than that - is mentally not healthy.
Non-compliance with borders . What you told it on sessions, the psychologist has to remain kouchy and only kouchy. No friendship, flirtation during conversation can be. The personal relations can be created after the termination of a course, but in that case next time someone another will already become your psychologist.
“Homelessness“ . If the psychologist calling himself professional has no exact office address, then before you the nonprofessional. The professional is meant the word that psychology for this person - a profession and he it earns the living, having the right for it (the diploma, the certificate). True - he it lives. The psychologist will never come to the client home, will not make an appointment (even the first!) in park or in cafe. It has to have specially equipped place for reception of clients is very important condition.
“Exaggerated“ image . Has to admire the psychologist not only the neigbour in a staircase, he has to be known in professional circles. Besides, to the expert`s figure always add publication weight in scientific and popular publications, lecturing, seminars, responses of the former clients.
Always and everywhere as the psychologist . And it is already the diagnosis. The normal psychologist is not afraid to show, as he has problems too, is not afraid to hear from others: “Well, you are a psychologist!“ supposedly has to know all. By the way, something (it is impossible to know all) is not afraid to admit ignorance and will work in the field of the competence.
Tendency to see only problems, but not advantages . It, by the way, speaks about unconscious desire of the psychologist to tower over you and about a tendency to a role of the rescuer who at first heats you, rescues then. Someone from great told: “Avoid those who try to undermine your self-confidence. This line is peculiar to small people. The great person, on the contrary, inspires in you feeling, as you can be great“.
All aforesaid concerns also the astrologer. Also that astrologer who is not interested in psychology is bad. Without astrology the psychologist grew blind, and the astrologer without psychology as if without hands.