Why the husband does not want sex?
the Most widespread sexual problem in marriage are an absence of sexual desire at the man. And this so widespread phenomenon in marriage that it is possible to speak about this phenomenon as about one of regularities of the sexual relations in marriage. On this subject there are even many jokes. Here at least one of them.
The wife leaves a bathroom, plows up a dressing gown and asks the husband:
- Well as?
- Would be others - the price would not be.
Interesting business: usually for men the main incentive motive to marriage is the desire to receive the most favorable conditions for satisfaction of sexual requirements with the beloved. But it is very frequent, by that moment as at the woman the same strong sexual desire will be created, at the man this desire already begins to decline. And it is quite natural process.
Imagine such picture. The person goes many days on the desert, having a limited water-supply. He is able to afford only a few drinks in day. And until it goes on the desert, he will constantly thirst. But when it will leave the desert, will satisfy thirst and will return to usual life, he will already forget what is thirst.
Also and in marriage. The man, having had an opportunity to meet completely all the sexual desires, soon enough forgets about the sexual hunger. Besides if the period of youthful hyper sexuality when hormones burst forth, at it already passed. Under the influence of hormones, he can remember sex few times in a month. And physiologically it is quite normal, and there are no bases to address doctors.
But all these arguments too small consolation to women who feel much bigger sexual need, than their husbands. And what to do to them?
To this problem it is paid much attention in sexual literature. Practical advice is generously distributed that can be undertaken in this situation. And I here do not see any practical sense in a practical advice in this area. The same council at practical use can have opposite result in different married couples.
Besides in national folklore on this subject there is a set of jokes. One joke of an era of socialism is remembered.
The woman comes back from foreign business trip and tells the husband as there everything was interesting. - you Present to
, we even on a striptease were driven.
- And what, it is actually such muck how speak to us about it?
- And here I will show you now.
the Woman turns on the intimate light, turns on the music and slowly begins to undress. The husband looked - looked, then speaks:
- Yes, is valid, muck.
As can give a practical advice, without knowing well both partners? Here it is necessary to give knowledge of an essence of the phenomena and regularities. Knowing these regularities, the person will be able to find an own way to the solution of specific problems. It as in mathematics: at first we study the theory, we solve concrete examples with the teacher, and then houses independently we solve problems. If you did not acquire the theory in full, you do not solve any problems.
The general approach when in sexual literature it is told about need of a variety for the sexual relations, is correct. Only it is worth speaking more distinctly about some moments.
1. A variety - not end in itself, but means for increase of sexual excitement.
2. Excites not a variety. That new elements excited, they have to enter the list of those means which excite the specific person.
should Bring a variety sex, proceeding from features and needs of the partner, knowing or assuming with sufficient degree of confidence that it can excite it.
And now about the most important. About what prevents spouses to bring a variety the sexual life. The variety role in sexual life is known by all. But to know one business, and another matter - as it to achieve practically. And not that there was not enough knowledge of how to achieve this variety. And sexual literature makes that assumption that the people do not know how it can be made and therefore offers practical ways.
Somehow talked to one acquaintance. She is 40 years old, to the new husband - 25. And here she complains that the husband does not satisfy it. I ask it - whether she knows that it is necessary for its satisfaction. Of course - she answers. And what she will not tell about it to the husband? Well, and he will ask - you where it were taken?
In this situation the answer to an essence of many sexual problems is put. A question not in what spouses of what do not know, and that for some reasons it is difficult for them to communicate on the sexual relations. Even if not one decade is lived in marriage. And that is why so difficult happens to communicate on sex with the loved one and that it is possible to make to overcome these difficulties - we will talk about it in the following articles.