Working collectives. School of malignant gossip or we Will gossip for a while on - secular?
you never thought of the fact that, two and more individuals should gather, in group on interests or in working collective, how some of them and if not to palter, then the most part, directly - begins to delay superhuman force majeure to gossips and a gossip?
And these people can be quite well-educated, have the higher education or even two, go to church, think of the old parents much and with all parental devotion to foster the children. In a word, “to consist on the good account“ and to be quite worthy representatives of the human race. And at the same time not to cease to gossip, gossip and say frank scurrilous things.
Especially brightly such insuperable thirst for scoring pejorative, and, as a rule, estimates, far from the true situation, is noticeable in working collectives. Everything begins usually with “black sheep“ - the member of the collective holding certain authority. Behind it to look ““ or just from - for some complexes concerning the person, to assent, nod or aloud to develop the offered “evil“ subject reluctantly, as if forcedly submitting or with obvious desire and pleasure to gossip for a while and gossip also others follow, as a rule, the members of collective standing on lower step of collective hierarchy - crowd, pack, herd.
A target for spiteful attacks the members of the next working collective consisting in any especially business opposition - real or imaginary, chiefs of all colors, for various reasons not nice the subordinate, and also members of own collective, something not pleased to his authorities get out.
Most it is easy to get to objects of gossips of the colleagues, only without assenting readily to the all-chosen subjects of “small talk“, and having excellent from standard in collective the point of view. For example, on such “interesting“ and “taking“ many minds subject for discussion in working hours as “Ivanova from department of supply lives together with Petrov from sales department“ enough to answer “Lie“ or “It not our business“ already next time to become at first object of sneers, and then, perhaps, and the main character of collective “soap operas“.
Or to have excellent from conventional and standard hobbies, a way of life, views, behavior, appearance etc. (For example, not to drink - if all drink, not to smoke - if all smoke, not to use foul language - if all use foul language. Not to want to buy the car - all want! Not to wish to build giving - all build! Not to be interested, where to earn more money - it interests all! Or, for example, for the most different reasons in the public dining room persistently to refuse meat while all eat it. That is “in every way to show off“, to be a black sheep, the pariah - there is quite enough in order that at the conformist majority to cause certain negative emotions.)
But that will much quicker provoke at your colleagues hostility to you, and will surely cause subsequently not the most friendly attacks in your party, it is basic choice to think, speak and arrive on conscience, on the truth. For example, on some nonsense which cloyed to you or gossips in someone`s third-party address, frankly “unfriendly“ remarks “As it is not a shame to you!“, “It is stupid“, told by serious tone, - undoubted casus belli, declaration of war.
And if your ascertaining of the fact besides has an instructive appeal - that is it is told not in a business detached manner or in playful tone with a smile, and with instructive implication or the frank appeal to ethics and conscience, then wars to you not to avoid. Because nothing causes in us such sharp rejection of foreign opinions as appeals to conscience.
Some working collectives, it is frequent from load with work, but is much more often from inaction being aloof, turn into the real balls of rumors, gossips and frank rage. To sometimes include rather only a little the hearing and observation that from the colleagues whom you know not one year as “the guys and little girls“, to hear the mucks and frank nonsense given “on the mountain“.
However It is necessary to distinguish gossips and malignant gossip from frank lies. People usually are engaged in the first from inaction, wishing to correct the self-assessment at the expense of others. Or from - for own complexes with which badly cope. The second, at first sight containing the same elements of malignant gossip, is usually told on business, in separately taken cases and persons, but with generalizations it seems “Yes all chiefs goats - a goat and ours“. When you cannot agree with something and you want to change.
What to do in situations when you hear gossips and malignant gossip? It is possible to express the disagreement openly. To state that you think and you consider correct and accepted. It is possible not to participate in gossips. To keep silent. And it is possible “to improve in the easiest way the relations in collective“, “not to come off collective“, “to be as all“.
The first if to speak is honest, fraught with the consequences, most unpleasant for the daredevil. Stigmatization. Or the fact that you will become object of sneers and malignant gossip. What can lead even to any writing of the composition under the name “Statement at Own Will“.
The second, most likely, will also cause rejection in evil tongues. But at some strength of mind, by the principle “You be better one than together with anyone“, shortly most likely will lag behind you, and, perhaps, will even begin to respect for your adherence to principles.
Well, and the third - at first sight, the easiest that is followed by many, can bring you certain practical benefits. For example, you will never remain alone. And at ability to assent and participate in malignant gossip at the same time with the administration you can notice and recommend.
What to you to choose? Solves everyone for himself.