Why psychologists do not like to work with children?
address psychologists not only adults. Quite often bring to experts also children. And therapists of souls only make a helpless gesture: “We do not work with children!“ Or with grief undertake the work …
Of course, there are cases and objective need. There are children with features of development. Or separate situations - the child obmochitsya in a dream, was frightened, experiences experiences from - for divorce of parents … Stop - stop! Here - that, in the last example, also it seems to know better all a hard work of the children`s psychologist. It is forced to work with that person who solves nothing and nothing can make.
There are psychologists children`s and adult. Here, as well as with doctors, work highly specialized. What the ordinary children`s therapist needs to know in usual policlinic to the adult doctor is admissible and not to know.
In psychology it is harder and harder. Adult psychotherapists, even most “experienced“ and knowing the business, extremely do not like to work with children. In what the reason? Children, apparently, are more susceptible, the Problem, as always, in parents is more sincere and more honest … than
. All right, I exaggerate. A problem in duality of a situation.
Undoubtedly, parents for sincere love drag the teenager or the younger school student to the psychologist. But they do it while own methods - from ugovarivaniye before threats - any more do not work.
And here, such team - mother, the grandmother and the girl - to the psychologist comes. And mother with the grandmother in eager rivalry tell “the kind doctor“ what their girl bad. Does not obey. Stubborn. And in general wrong.
What they ask to make? Pra - avilno. Ask “to correct their child“.
But the child - not the mechanism which can be sorted, cleaned, greased, and he will work like clock-work. Quite often the child - the obvious embodiment of the hidden processes. What happens to it - only reflection of a real situation in a family at school or houses. The child as the sponge absorbs values of a family and family delusions.
And then adults, without wishing anything to change in a situation, all ask to make well. And if it does not turn out - swear, accuse of charlatanism and break hands.
And reverse of the medal. The psychologist, listening to the child in calm of an office, can experience the mass of emotions in relation to his parents, from discontent to anger. My psychotherapist and told: “When you said about mother that you love her, and at the same time told how at you it is got in a family what place you in it take - I wanted to kill your mother“.
Not mother bad. And not I. And not the psychotherapist. Just like that it developed. Just differently it was impossible.
But well adult - year on psychotherapy departed, understood what occurred, forgave. In the family made in a different way.
And with the child such focuses will not take place. He is yet not a certain person - parents or tutors are responsible for it (grandmothers - grandfathers, aunts). Both financially, and morally. Till eighteen years or at least before leaving school, you will make nothing receipts in far technical school.
The child is locked in a family and how many to him help - he will return there. In the same conditions. Will not be able to dictate the. And the personality yet not created - intervention in this difficult and thin process is fraught.
Once long ago I took 15 - the summer brother to the psychotherapist. The professional unwillingly started working only because the teenager was visited by thoughts of death. “This winter I will definitely not worry“, - the brother said.
To steam of sessions could remove this problem. But if frankly, I saw everything that occurs. That mother`s marriage was not successful that to it in a family which she also heads, uncomfortablly. That she does not love men. And at the same time begins to throw on the ripening man - her son - ideas of that, “what they have to be“.
He coped through “I cannot“. Sent it nafig, did not equal hopes. Not to become it “the ideal man whom it to itself grew up itself“. What, in fact, is not what other as an incest, let and moral.
So the child to whom it is bad should manage to explain what occurs, to help to cope, teach to resist with it to a situation in a family. On money of the family. Seeing pain of the child. Giving it support and hope. And listening from a family that “we to you brought the child that you corrected him, and you badly work!“
Still is doubts that psychologists for the most objective reasons do not like to work with children?