Trainings on self-defense. To rely on “perhaps“ or on itself?
Everyone writing on self-defense subjects usually face the same questions and objections. “How to stand for itself if you weak (and in particular - the weak woman)?“ And as natural conclusion: “Let my man protects me!“
Widespread man`s argument: “All the same neither receptions, nor a gas spray will protect from a bullet!“
Ah yes, still the argument adduced usually by athletes: “No receptions against KMS on boxing will help!“
All these “arguments“ unites one: what to learn to stand for itself senselessly. And, it seems, everything is correct! Really, why weak to learn to protect itself? It weak, and the most difficult for it - to strain and to make something.
Training in self-defense - a hard work. And not only physically, though inevitable physical activities will seem to our many contemporaries excessive. Alas, miracles do not happen. If the person the most part of life leads an inactive life, its physical capacities are often very limited. So, for reduction of in a “competitive“ condition of training are inevitable.
But trainings are not limited only to work on a body. In not smaller degree (or perhaps and in bigger) they train mentality, will, spirit. Any how many - nibud serious physical trainings do it, and especially purposeful trainings in self-defense. And physical changes, as well as training in “receptions“ and “self-defense methods“, though are important - nothing without changes personal. In the course of trainings gradually there come those changes, qualities without which any most effective equipment will not work are formed. What`s the use to train the coward to beat if he, having been frightened, is not able to strike? Or will not be able to escape in time, having been frightened what he will be considered as the coward? Or from the fear (generated by feeling of own weakness) will grab the weapon where the person surer would solve a problem in more peace ways?
Overcoming itself at trainings, overcoming partners in physical interaction, overcoming the fear in power fight, the person becomes stronger first of all psychologically. He at least approximately knows what he is capable of and on what is not present. In the course of competently built training a number of artificial internal barriers is removed (more precisely, it is controllably weakened): for example, fear to hit the person. Strangely enough, to many people this fear prevents to stand for itself. A bigger number of people are afraid to suffer in collision. By the way, care is quite justified here. But only when she helps to estimate own forces adequately.
Also the reverse situation is possible: excessively self-confident person rushes to fight, having overestimated himself, and runs into serious repulse. But in - the first, trainings give - skills of hand-to-hand fight. And in - the second, in the course of training the unjustified fear of the opponent is removed. If at trainings we, let and with certain restrictions, resist to the trained forward, it forms natural confidence in that, as in a real situation we will be able to resist to an aggressor. Certainly, attacks at trainings have to be brought closer to real so, as far as possible. Excessively “sparing“ the partner, we will do him a disservice, without having given the chance:
1) adequately to estimate the forces;
2) to learn to be protected from really aggressively attacking opponent.
Besides, trainings allow to mobilize, release healthy aggression. Healthy, allowing to advocate the interests, to resist to others hostility. That is normal aggression which at our many contemporaries (in particular at women) is suppressed by education. It is important not to confuse healthy aggression of the self-assured person to that “aggression“ that forces a small doggie, hysterical bark for fear, to rush on a huge dog. Such behavior is peculiar to the diffident people feeling not capable to resist to others pressure and expecting to use aggression as the only chance.
But in that is continually that similar “hysterical“ aggression often hides weakness and if the opponent was not frightened of the first pressure, this weakness will inevitably be shown. Respectively and the result of collision will be quite predictable … By the way, sometimes on courses of self-defense of engaged adjust on such here pseudo-aggressive, furious reaction in response to threat. The recommendation to use a method of “mad rage“ wanders also according to pages of the corresponding grants. I can express only the personal opinion: as well as any method based on “perhaps will give a ride!“, it can work. With the uncertain and weak opponent masking ostentatious aggression own fear. That is - with the identity of similar type.
The major indicator of correctly built training - the fact that occurring in the course of its change have to affect the personality in general. Training in self-defense, as a rule, are not limited to the narrow sphere. Most of those who come to self-defense courses need first of all psychological preparation. Self-confidence, ability to protect the interests, self-esteem is the qualities which are shown in all spheres of life.
But I will repeat: all this is not given just like that, and reached in the course of work on itself. What does the person by the victim? For ninety percent - own fear and uncertainty. Actually the person cannot be frightened - it is only possible to be frightened. The aggressor uses fear of the potential victim to operate it, to dictate frightened to “terpila“ the will. And whether so just to operate that who became stronger as a result of own conscious efforts? Who purposefully worked on himself, correcting own weaknesses and fears?
Besides, competent training of self-defense surely includes working off of actions in the most probable situations. Usually it is “arrival“ of aggressive persons with insults and psychological suppression, attack in limited space (for example in the elevator), self-defense in the car... And it is important that not only physical actions (in other words, receptions), but also optimum behavior, both skills of counteraction to pressure (threat), and ways of verbal resolution of conflict are fulfilled. And nobody will prevent you to work, actual for you, a situation.
For example to fulfill behavior model at threat of domestic violence. It is not excluded that it will be simpler “to settle“ a situation verbally or not to bring even to open opposition. But anyway without confidence in own forces, in ability and the main thing - readiness to stand for itself, all this will remain only dreams. And the confidence does not appear from anywhere. More precisely, such confidence is called self-confidence and often goes only to harm. The original confidence leans on real opportunities.
And in order that these opportunities to find, it is necessary to work, nothing is given in itself. Active approach to a solution means that the person at last assumed responsibility for own life, ceased to shift the solution of the problems to others and to hope on habitual “perhaps“.