In brides one, and is married - absolutely another?
Most of women irrespective of age can “nevestitsya“ vaguely before whom, before everyone, before all … As well as to girls in 14 - 15 years, they constantly want to be pleasant to nearly whole world.
Together with desire to be pleasant also expectations of women from a matrimony grow - they wait for ardent love, mutual admiration, common interests, normal sexual life, joint care of children, the general pleasure of housekeeping.
Expectations, expectations, expectations... They push women to creation of an image of love and charm for “gain“ of men. Certainly, men easily swallow such bait and, in turn, are full of expectations - wait from women of the promised endless love, patience and care.
Though some women, marrying, do not expect any more - they just demand from men of common goals and intellectual partnership, full communication and sensitive mutual understanding, enough the active sexual relations and only romantic love. Such, almost “clinical“, cases - a subject of separate conversation.
In article it will be a question of how women, setting the task - quicker to marry (years fly, however), deceive also themselves, and unfortunate men. Yes, the situation quite so is: deceiving itself, the woman misleads the man. Nearly deliberate actions.
The married woman practically has no time for maintenance of an attractive image - family life occupies all “48 hours a day“. The man of time has enough daily personally to be convinced of “insidiousness“ of the woman - “in brides was one, and now to whom it is similar?“.
At the time of stay in image (or it is valid, being that) the woman idealizes everyone and everything … Trying to be pleasant very much to the man, she a lot of things forgives him, allows him. Allocates it with nonexistent qualities. Itself convincingly shows the best qualities as only.
Struck on the spot by unearthly beauty and the patience of job, the man remembers forever this image as inherent in it. “It - the miracle is simple!“ … Here is not present! - very sly and artful.
Seldom which of women happens to be oneself throughout all life, most often it is necessary to correspond to the thought-up image. Or to try to correspond that, in fact, there`s small choice in rotten apples. Yes - destiny, unenviable at them.
Plus to everything paradox of the growing expectations: always there is a wish bigger, than is now, than it was expected. Perhaps, the discontent is satisfied, but spouses again “raise a bar“ - begin to place each other even more great demands, and after a while there are mutual claims of higher order.
And what we hear from those who divorced recently? Something it seems “At us is all - there was no normal communication“, “The difference in education was so big that it prevented us to live“, “He spoke only about himself“, “He did not listen to me, did not understand“ …
Quite another matter at those women who did not “pretend to be“ … Yes, many women want to look good, and it is normal. Yes, well-groomed women - are always attractive. It is normal too. But there are sense of proportion and internal culture of the person. There are needs of nature in neatness irrespective of external conditions and circumstances.
Such women in the forefront have cultural wealth and interests. Practically the man gets acquainted first of all with its inner world and if there was a certain rapprochement of souls, then their friendship is based on really mutual interests. Such friendship for the rest of life.
To be oneself is a great gift! It is given the little since the birth … Very many only try such to become, but it turns out not at all. The real happiness is to love the person it what he is actually. And most to be darling in the same way.
Of course, there are some of spheres of activity of the person at which inevitably there is a fiction element - it is fiction, cinema, advertizing, policy … Without the known share of umolchaniye, exaggerations and pretense neither dreams, nor creativity, nor business are impossible. We risk to lose a high self-assessment and optimism if at all we refuse self-deception. Let`s lose also good playful mood if all life we look only to the truth in eyes.
But there are special cases when the truth only on advantage of business are honest and confidential relations between the husband and the wife. I will not be afraid to claim that all problems in a family from - for lie which becomes a habit.