How to recover from excessive self-criticism?
As often in the thoughts you come back to negative situations which it is already far in the past? How many once a day you scroll dialogues in the head, you invent well-aimed and witty phrases which could tell the offender, but did not tell?
The habit to dramatize and to constantly overtake the same sad thoughts is around peculiar to very many people. It is so strongly fixed in consciousness that becomes part of nature soon. That constant which defines not only a way of thinking, but also all further tide of life.
Such people, as a rule, extremely seldom feel satisfaction from life, they are disturbing, hypochondriac and experience difficulties directed by the purposes. Whether it is already possible to correct somehow the current situation?
Of course! It is only necessary to replace, already existing habit with another - more useful. To any person in power gradually to pass from excessive self-criticism to the healthy and weighed self-criticism. For this purpose it is necessary to pass only several steps...
Simply accept the fact that you have certain features of the personality. There is no your fault in it, and in your forces to make so that any similar “feature“ causing discomfort easily turned into strength of your character. you Remember
“the rule of three questions“
Usually excessive self-criticism always has the beginning, but has no logical conclusion. For example, some especially hypochondriac employees are capable to endure the remark of the chief of week until hear long-awaited approval from the head, or new, stronger reason for experiences will not appear yet.
Regular implementation of one simple rule will allow to put the end to these sincere throwings. Just fill three columns on a sheet of paper:
1. What I made? (In it you will describe the event concerning you).
2. What I could make? (Model desirable behavior in consciousness. Present that you would say with what intonation you, as if gesticulated etc.).
3. What I can make tomorrow? (What action you will take to correct the current situation? Or perhaps you decide that the best exit - to distract and “to go down stream“?) .
Thanks to such simple analysis, you every time will learn to learn useful lessons from troubles and to accurately commensurate the actual scale of “incidents“ and your internal experiences. It can quite turn out that the importance of a half of the events which happened to you strongly exaggeratedly. And to worry, actually, there is nothing. Write
All “counter“ of excessive self-criticism consists in cycling on the moment which was in the past. But if to take for the rule every morning to write itself plans for day, and then to arrange nightly ritual with deletion of the implemented clauses, the focus will be shifted towards “future“, and the course of your thoughts will become more constructive. You carry with yourself this list and as often as possible in it look. Train in yourself a habit to think of what you want that pleasantly and is pleasant to you, but not about what brings alarm and discomfort. Over time such thinking will become for you ordinary, and the vector of mood will be almost constantly near a mark “perfectly“.
Be a dynamic personality
do not play an ostrich. Do not forget that the best way not to become isolated in own experiences - in time to give vent to them. Find to yourself business to liking. For example, it is possible to try creativity.
Very often happens that the reflexing natures are the people who are thinly feeling, possessing the imagination and abilities to improvisation. So why not to find for these qualities application? Try to find “the“ means of self-expression. Not important, than you will be engaged: to cross stitch or write novels. The main thing that, doing favorite thing, seeing results of the work and receiving about it positive comments, you will feel more often satisfaction from life.
And the most important. You remember, you decide that to you to do: it is shy to watch action from - for the scenes, to doubt the forces and not to decide to step on the stage. Or to take courage, to spit prejudices and to play the first role in a performance. The second though is more difficult, but it is much more interesting. And on excessive self-criticism of time will not remain.