Rus Articles Journal

Children`s grief. How to help the kid to cope with loss?

As often we come back to a golden time of our life, to the childhood? Someone is more often, someone is more rare. And what is remembered first of all? Mother`s lullabies, rhymes - zabavka, favourite toys …

“Dropped a bear on a floor, tore off to a bear a paw. In total - equally in it I will not throw because it good …“

Or here still: “Our Tanya loudly cries, dropped a ball to the small river. More quietly, Tanechka, do not cry …“

Favourite toys of our children... What do they mean to the little men only entering a big and difficult life? What does loss of a favourite toy mean to the kid? What we, adult mothers and fathers, know and that have to know about it?

Alarmed mother of the three-year-old baby shares impressions with fellow workers:

- You represent, the favourite doll was lost! And shabby such, dirty, eyes were not closed … And here Nastyusha longs which week … What to do - I will not apply mind! Searched all apartment, all yard, all sandboxes rummaged. Is not present anywhere.

- There now still, the problem was found, - listeners wave away, shifting dusty folders in a case, - whether about it it is worth worrying? The main thing - itself it would be live - it is healthy. Will condole and will cease. Children`s sorrows that weather March - here to you both the sun, and cloudlets, and sleet - ten times will in the course of the day be replaced. Yes to buy it new and all here!

All it and so … Yes only not absolutely.

At the age of 2 - 3 - 5 years our children only learn to learn the world, big, difficult, sometimes frightening. The first doll, the machine, a plush mouse - kids often perceive them as the first true friend with whom it is not terrible. Perhaps, they even communicate on somebody astral level. Often the toy is identified with itself. And entering the favourite hero into different game situations, the child learns life, gains the elementary behavioural skills. Simply speaking, learns to live.

Losses … Then them will be much in life of each grown-up person. Then we will already know and be able correctly to react to an event.

But the first loss which happened in life of the little man, small boring of the formed personality can become the present tragedy. The tragedy especially terrible in essence that the child is not able to inform still people around of all completeness of his grief.

Than to help in this situation? Only any reproaches! Any silly morals like “you - already - big - not - dismiss - slobber is - ugly!“ Correctly nevertheless it will be valid to replace the lost treasure with a new toy.

What happened to the child in the emotional plan when the old doll was on the place? The kid felt surely, comfortably, happily and cheerfully. It is necessary to try to create the similar atmosphere - the atmosphere of a sunny day.

Arrange to the child a festival of soul. Start in action processes of replacement at the light, positive level. That the child like pleasure and happiness, fixed in himself new warm emotions.

Everything will approach! A campaign in a zoo or a party for children with balloons, clownish noses and tasty mother`s pie. Inventing of own fairy tale or visit as the viewer (or perhaps even the participant why is not present?) sections of ballroom dances. A visit with mother of beauty shop behind the most magnificent hairdress with the real ringlets. Or man`s business - with the father on fishing and the real tiny small fish in a jar. The main thing that it was most positive and gave happiness.

Distract the kid from the first in his life grief, a loss grief … And at the end of action present to the chadushka - pat-a-cake a new toy. Not necessarily same, as lost. Just new.

Here when the positive spirit will cover with itself the feeling of loss which gushed with an incredible force, only then the child will be able to accept and fall in love with something new.

Our children will be by all means happy in the life! We so love them! The main thing to teach them to be happy and to positively accept everything that occurs around. You teach kids to come out from any negative situation the winner with a positive spirit.

Sounds paradoxically and cuts hearing? Means, you were not taught in due time.

Well and how, it is easy for you now, in your life?