This misunderstood teenager - what his friends and hobbies?
the Teenage world - secret behind seven seals practically for all parents though - here paradox - all of us passed through this stage in the life. Why it is so difficult to us to understand own children? Really we, adults, just at all forget own experience?
Centuries parents grumble: children went not those, it is impossible to cope with them, they are unclear and live incorrectly. What else, besides listed in the previous materials, does not suit parents in from the growing-up child?
Problem seventh: it has some ridiculous hobbies!
Existence of hobbies in teenage age - a thing absolutely normal (much more absence of any hobbies in general has to guard you). It is called “a hobby - reaction and is a distinctive feature of the teenage period as game - in the period of the childhood.
However these hobbies - such different, such sometimes unusual that parents do not even know how to react to them.
Teenage hobbies can be divided into several groups conditionally:
- intellectually - esthetic hobbies are connected with a great interest in favourite business (for example, to the composition of music, modeling, equipment etc.) ;
- corporally - manual hobbies (sports activities, aspiration to learn to make something, to burn out, embroider, ride a bicycle, to drive the motorcycle or the car);
- leader hobbies are connected with situations in which the teenager can prove as the ringleader, the head, the organizer;
- nakopitelsky hobbies are, of course, a collecting in all forms and shapes;
- egocentric hobbies - any occupations allowing to come under the spotlight;
- hazardous hobbies - a card play, rates on the totalizator, a bet on money, hobby for lotteries - all this one of our kind;
- informatively - communicative hobbies - thirst for the new easy information which is not demanding any critical intellectual processing; it is an hours-long idle talk with friends, quite often casual, a glazeniye on all events around, series, books from the category of “ladies` novels“ or “shooter games“, infinite, aimless sitting in front of the TV.
The same hobby can be based on unequal motives, i.e. treat different types. For example, occupation by a foreign language can be caused by intellectual requirement, and can - egocentric aspiration “to be allocated“.
How to react to hobbies?
it is sober to b to estimate degree of their harm and usefulness, but generally here - not to stir the politician. It makes sense to influence a situation only in case the teenager excessively is fond of the hobby when for the sake of it even study and communication with peers is thrown or if the hobby guards you with the strangeness or asocial contents.
Problem eighth: it has some suspicious friends! It got to the company, and it is possible to be sure that it is the bad company!
In - the first, not the fact that the company by all means bad. Teenagers reach for seniors, often even prefer to be found not with age-mates, and with them. It and is called - grouping reaction. Teenage “companies“, from the point of view of sociology, the phenomenon not so new - rather archaic, and even at animals the young growth forms groups, separate of “adults“.
In principle if these groups are not criminal, there is nothing in them dangerous. However complexity consists that at teenagers asocial (acquaintance to alcohol and drugs, for example) and antisocial (hooliganism, theft) the behavior is observed in most cases in group.
What to do? not to impose the opinion At all. Before organizing campaign against “bad friends“, it is necessary to analyse properly why such friends appeared at your son or the daughter what in them can attract and what, so, is not enough for your child?
The silent fellow is on friendly terms with the ringleader of all pranks? Perhaps to it just does not get self-confidence? The “house“ child goes to the company of “domestic blockheads“ who, it seems, are busy with nothing traveling? But, maybe, only there it finds unconditional acceptance, maybe, only there it is perceived such how it is - without excessively high demands which are made at home? So, reflect what emotional shortage is filled by your child near “unacceptable“ friends.
Besides, soberly estimate extent of their influence. One business if it is the “compelled“ company for want of something better when the teenager understands that these friends not really - that also are close, not so interesting to it and true friends cannot be considered. And another matter if he “gets used“ to subculture of the company or “becomes attached“ to new friends, copying them in everything.
How to arrive in this case? The rule one - never to forbid “in a forehead“, in the spirit of: “Your leg will not be there“ or “That I more than this Vova near you did not see!“. In this case the teenager with very high probability will do to you “to spite“ because that - that, but the choice of friends is from area of especially personal liberty.
If you understand that this friendship will come to an end in nothing good, use reception of “fine tuning“: “Vova the interesting guy, but how you think why in such - situations it behaved so-? And how you would behave? Why?“ That is it is necessary to pronounce everything, as for laws of morality, morally - ethical standards. If “friends“ use foul language, steal, deceive - it is a reason for large-scale campaign such because you as parents are terribly interested in that your child absorbed in itself your ideals, but not doubtful values of Vova whose parents are not engaged in his education. Unlike you.
So as it is visible, being guided by knowledge, common sense and sense of humour (and without humour with children it is possible just to be shot), to endure all these problems quite really.
The road will be mastered by going!