How to force the child to study well? Just teach him to dream!
If your child do not get on well at school, and it seems to you that already everything is lost forever, perhaps, my brief experience in this question will be able though somehow to help.
- Mother, well, I solved. I want to come on office of hotel economy to college, - as if accidentally the daughter Svetlana on the way home from our farm told me yesterday.
I from surprise and pleasure even rested against a brake, mushrooms from baskets were scattered on all salon.
- Opachki! Good fellow, Sveta! And even already you submit the picture? - I asked.
She closed eyes, cast away the head back pensively and continued:
- I, harmonous, thin (it is a donut at me now), high-heeled, in an elegant suit welcome important guests in the foyer. I am an owner of some high quality hotel. I speak all languages. And I have in hotel two presidential numbers: I can lodge some president of some country in one, and the best is always ready to meet you, the famous, popular writer. You is constant on tours!
- Wow! So you and about me namechtat?! - I laugh.
- Well. Everything as you learned. I presented everything.
And there was another story two years ago. With the same participants. Only I then in the car from orphanage carried the unfamiliar twelve-year-old girl who became my daughter on command of destiny or God. We were not well familiar for now kilometer columns counted up from one to three hundred, it was necessary to talk about something. And I asked: “Light and whom you dream to become when you grow up“?
- And I do not dream. Both will be, and will be. Nothing is pleasant to me, and what is pleasant, at me will never turn out, - she answered somehow even not that fatefully, and it is indifferent and derisive. - What I, silly, perhaps, to dream? Perhaps I will go abroad, rich I will marry the foreigner, can …
In a cellophane package - a swag it carried the property acquired for these years: the diary school and personal, the photo in a frame and the letter from mother from prison in which that asked from it money.
The school diary dazzled with good and excellent marks that pleased me. Not for long. From the very first days at capital school these estimates began to move down and move down gradually down, yet did not turn in real “well“ and even below.
The picture became clear - my child lags behind all peers almost in all objects. And it is not the first class, but the second half of the seventh.
That you presented an objective picture, I will give couple only of examples.
- Svetik, look, what time is it now! - I ask, fussing in kitchen. The daughter stares for hours and is silent. On my question why, answers what on such hours, with the ordinary dial and shooters, does not understand. Are familiar only electronic which hung in the hall of a shelter.
To sort the offer in parts of the speech, it was necessary to begin with the fact that such noun, a verb, an adjective. About adverbs and other nonsense in general I am silent.
Also began … We took in school library textbooks in all objects for all years. Every day together did homework: the husband supervised the exact sciences, I - languages, the son (the daughter`s age-mate) - history and Belarusian.
There was everyone: a vyryvaniye of leaves from the diary and a tear, “And to us nothing also tears, faints during control and tears, writing off at the neighbor, the lost notebook, roughness, nervousness, apathy and a depression, and all - tears set“, tears, tears … And it, and even sometimes - ours.
I could not explain in any way why why it is necessary to study well. It was impossible to inspire in any way that the main thing - even not an assessment, the main thing - to understand and why it is necessary.
And once Sveta asked whether the ordinary cleaner can earn so that was enough for life.
It was the turning point. I understood: this most important - my child is not able to dream !
Everything put only in it. Absolute indifference in knowledge something new is explained by it, the fear of any activity, misunderstanding of how it is the brother - the age-mate voluntarily sits down at lessons, something reads in addition furtively at night, looks for on the Internet. Why is upset from - for a bad note, than history why to knock on a drum set till it bleeds on hands why already now to thumb through the reference book for going to the universities is so interesting to it.
We did homework in several stages:
- read a task and exercise or a task;
- closed the textbook and, understanding what it there is a speech about, retold this task, explained what is required to be made;
- told the rule on which this task is based, if necessary found this rule in the textbook of this or previous year;
- made or tried to make independently;
- checked, helped to make;
- by analogy made now one more, very similar on uchebnikovsky, thought up by us, a task;
- independently thought up a similar task.
Of course as you can guess, on lessons at us then all evening left, sometimes and till midnight sat up. But the daughter went to school with good mood and was not afraid any more that can cause, and control began to wait with interest, and with not smaller - their results.
If did not understand something, after a lesson, without being afraid to look the silly woman, stuck to the teacher with a request once again to explain. Itself wanted and registered in additional classes and various open classrooms.
Generally that long not to torment you with examples of “reorganization“, I will tell the main thing - already by the end of the year the daughter at PTA meeting was called one of the best schoolgirls in a class, all teachers noted unusual diligence and commitment. This year Svetlana - one of three best pupils on progress and activity in class life.
From where it had this speed, this desire?! Not from simple conscientiousness or suddenly the enthusiasm which undertook from nothing. No, of course not. Changes in consciousness appeared after heart to heart talks that the person has to dream.
If there is no dream - there is no future also. We, for example, reached by
also Rhonda`s “Secret“ Bern. Saw fluently, talked, looked attentively - talked, discussed. Looked once again, constantly pressing “pause“, now discussed, argued, examples from own life larded, proving that the thought - is material, and without dream of people slowly dies.
And here we decided that it is necessary to dream about very best treasured , of it that now it seems unreal. And to do everything to reach the highest step, to try in each business which you undertake, to be the first not to be the last, at least.
The daughter herself drew a conclusion and was even surprised to evidence - if to dream to become the cashier or the secretary, then only the cashier and the secretary and it is possible to become.
Also we began to approach from this point of view the dream and to think over, where to move after successful (!) leavings school: in hairdressers (the highest category), whether in accountants (superqualifications) or …
- So why you, all - chose faculty of hotel economy? - I ask out of curiosity, we somehow did not discuss this sphere at all.
Also I receive the answer literally on points:
- In - the first, this profession will be always demanded;
- In - the second, knowing elements and not only, I will be able to work in this area in any country of the world;
- In - the third, is required knowledge of foreign languages and accounts department, and both that, and another is pleasant to me (oho, it is already pleasant?!) ;
- Well, and me is pleasant to communicate with people, to be successful, to decorate, think out new, to travel;
- Me needs to try to finish well this year now and to make attempt to come to college, then it will be easier to get to university;
and so on, so further … she told
To the house about the plans, as about what will be obligatory in her life.
And it will be obligatory - we want it!
And we do not do homeworks by all family any more, the daughter studies with pleasure, quietly, began to read much. And PTA meetings now - very pleasant actions in a family.
“I, harmonous, beautiful, high-heeled, in an elegant suit welcome important guests in the foyer. I am an owner of five-stars hotel on an ocean coast“ …