For what the child puts out the tongue?
“My son began to put out the tongue. It, it seems, also does not tease me. Does not show it behind the back, always does it in eyes. Disturbs that he is already big five-year-old boy, has to understand that to put out the tongue ugly and offensively for this purpose at whom put out the tongue. There is seemingly usual, maybe, not especially pleasant conversation for the son: I convince him to collect a toy in the room, he at first says that he does not want, then, that he is busy, he has no time, I continue to insist, at some moment instead of a remark he puts out the tongue. What to do and how to react?“ (A question to the psychologist) the Child puts out the tongue at
. The first association which arises - it is teased. Then the pokazyvaniye of language has to correspond to a number of conditions and cause certain feelings. In - the first when the child teases, he usually not only puts out the tongue, but also repeats some gesture, the word, mimic reaction after the object, and language acts as the amplifier of the previous action. In - the second, teasing aspires to that between it and object there was a distance, it is desirable increasing. In - the third, the one who owing to the previous point feels the invulnerability is teased. In - the fourth, permission the special emotional atmosphere
B the example given above allows to tease the child does not imitate mother - does not repeat her words or gestures, does not run away from it, having put out the tongue. This action is made during serious unpleasant conversation, therefore it is not necessary to speak about the special emotional atmosphere too. Perhaps, taking into account these factors the boy`s mother also had a feeling that the son does not tease her, his action bear some other semantic loading.
To be defined how to react to actions of the child, it is important to understand that he reports the gesture. It is quite possible what here put out tongue carries out the same function of strengthening, as at a peredraznivaniye someone. The boy participates in conversation, unpleasant for it, when his arguments come to an end, he from a hopelessness and powerlessness puts out the tongue instead of the next remark: I have to tell something in the protection, there is nothing to support the position, to tell me, but I can make the gesture specifying that I do not give up and I continue to defend the action or inaction.
This assumption is spoken well that mother does not experience strong emotions in response to actions of the son, to her the puzzling form of the answer of the son is unclear, it causes bewilderment and misunderstanding as to react to it. It allows to consider a language pokazyvaniye in this context as a reciprocal remark in dialogue.
It is possible to try to react on put out tongue, as to a usual remark in dialogue, having assumed, for example, that put out tongue it is equal to denial: “I do not want“ or “no“. To answer it as if the child formulated such answer verbally.
The language vysovyvaniye in reply can become other option of reaction. However here it is important that parental put out tongue did not become a peredraznivaniye. It is for this purpose better to react to gesture of the child with a kivaniye or “aha, it is clear“. And then as an own remark to put out tongue. Such conducting dialogue for the child will become a rupture of a template after which action actually constructive dialogue is possible.
In further communication the vysovyvaniye of language has chance to become the element of code language specifying, for example, that something needs to pay special attention or “I notice“.
For elimination of misunderstanding in this situation the adult can argue aloud as if for himself, but actually for the child, on a subject that is done by the son when puts out tongue. It will help the child to understand better the intentions and actions, and also will explain reaction of the adult, thoughtful and attentive.
However it is necessary to emphasize that such options of reaction are acceptable when actions of the child are not perceived as teasing when they cause bewilderment. In case there is a feeling that the child is teased (the feeling of rage of an iila of irritation appears), most likely, a language pokazyvaniye not the only thing that confuses in behavior of the child. Therefore, it is necessary to deal with not arranging behavior forms in a complex.