Divorce: 3 in 1. How it is possible?
(history of one divorce) to Write
about divorce absolutely hard business. The subject is too many-sided: for someone painful and therefore unpleasant, for someone very delicate and therefore closed, for someone irrelevant and therefore boring - generally, not especially joyful.
Personally for me it already behind, it is also possible to look at it from the different parties and at the same time to try to be the most objective.
Endured divorce of parents at teenage age, had heard plenty from mother about destiny of women in our sort (all of them were unfortunate in marriage), I married with confidence: the mother`s fate passes me precisely, and I will be surely happier than all grandmothers and great-grandmothers. Well, went by the principle to the altar: if to think of divorce whether then it is worth marrying in general.
And all well and only still the classic noticed: “As the world changes and as I change …“ 14 years Later the biographical status “is married“ replaced with the column “is divorced“.
We with the husband gave divorce as blow
of the Petition passers, but I consider as the initiator of divorce myself therefore divorce did not become for me surprise. We already used this word (tried on on themselves as now I understand) when it was necessary to leave somehow family quarrels, and the phrase “if something does not suit you, then the REGISTRY OFFICE nearby“ - sounded from lips of both periodically.
Struck much later when all formalities were already behind: the corresponding stamp in the passport, and then at all new documents (returned itself a maiden name), I on the rental apartment, the son wished to remain with the father so far, and to divide spoons - the forks and things acquired in the single copy for joint life counted for itself humiliating.
New life of one turned out so unusual that I failed in a terrible months-long depression. It for me was the strongest blow. Rescued moving on the new place a residence to other city. So, I replaced everything: a surname, the city, an occupation, the vital status - also began to recover. You remember, how in the cult movie “City of Angels“: to the main character, to become the person, it was necessary to fall and hit … Divorce as routine
of the Ex-husband struck
, probably, much later when I responded to his offer to return firm “no“. The heavy artillery was used. He demanded exchange of the general apartment in which lived, and payments of the alimony for keeping of the child. Oral arrangements to give me time to get on feet were violated. Divorce turned into routine. It did not need my money as the ratio of our income at that time was one to five. Was enough for it both for itself, and for the son.
According to psychologists, behind long sharing of material property, financial claims the desire to hold the partner, unavailability to build the new relations with other person is covered. Validly it becomes burdensome everything, it is necessary “to chew“ the past …
Divorce as a holiday
all the time again and again - - the good doctor. All property questions are settled, financial - forgotten. We quietly discuss questions of education of the son with the father of my child - the senior. Three years later after divorce understood what during this time at me in life occurred much more, than in 14 years of family life. I learned to rejoice to other things and felt that it is possible to be happy differently, and not just in the status of the married woman. I am grateful to destiny for invaluable experience to be a wife, I with optimism look forward because became another and wiser. Probably, again I will marry …
generally soon, divorce can be worried. The main thing - not to lose itself and to open new itself for other life.