Aggression: “yes“ or “no“?
the Word “aggression“ come from Latin “aggredi“ that means “to attack“, “move“. This term long since occurs in the European languages, however its value not always was identical. Before the beginning of the 19th century this concept was very wide: any active behavior, both benevolent, and hostile was considered as aggressive. Late value of this word changed, became narrower. Began to understand hostile behavior concerning surrounding people as aggression.
And here - such bold statement - the psychology rehabilitates aggression! And the psychoanalyst Karen Horni writes about hostility (read aggressions) as about one of the main qualities of mentality! The person - an animal public. Which without participation in the companies similar quickly human shape can lose. But the survival in society imposes essential restrictions for a range of the intensions - desires. And than we aspire to being “socially approved“ more, the more we try to keep in communication loyalty to Another, the more we force out the - quite natural - aggressive impulses. For example, aspirations “to receive everything and at once, without regard to faces“.
Aggression is very vigorous. And when we mostly so … try to block it strongly - she recoups in increase of background alarm. Or in projections to an environment: “I - warm and fuzzy, and you - what such spiteful and attacking?!“
So if we have these aspirations and feelings - why to us always as negative to perceive them? Sexual contact, for example, pleasures - a heap!!! - and from what, in fact?
For a long time it is time to bring aggression out of a shadow. And to perceive it as one of our power qualities. Acceptance of the right to be aggressive does life is more spacious. However, the back of such right - the responsibility for consequences of such behavior.
But I am sure that by and large aggression to us “helps to build and live“.
For example, protection of the interests and borders - for someone can look more than aggressively... But if the borders and needs for contact to ignore, trying to be such always... do-good and friendly to all? The imagination stops...
As well as any form of protection, aggression adequate to a real situation - very useful piece... Of course, if the person is always protected by attack - it is yes. trouble... But it already another story altogether.
I aggressive behavior associated long time about such... direct roughness... But relatively recently realized that aggression is shown in a huge number of shades and options, and at each of us in their arsenal - at least ten.
There are several forms which, at my today`s look, are quite aggressive:
- withdrawal from contact - or a pause - without explanation;
- excessive garrulity - when it is difficult for interlocutor to squeeze the word;
- imposing of the problems to Another at the slightest opportunity, and without it...;
- boasting - especially material resources;
- philosophizing - when suddenly in dialogue you begin “to pour terms“ and so forth;
- psychoanalysis of the interlocutor without he (she) on that inquiry... Profession sin...;
- excessive curiosity;
- blooming of gossips;
- humour jokes - in certain cases;
- etc., etc.
So all of us are aggressive. Just this one quality is accepted, considered, are with it in contact. And others deny it. And then aggression which all the same everyone has can take so bizzare shapes what periodically to puzzle even the owner.
Perhaps it is better to get acquainted with it closer? And?