Foreign opinion: whether it has to mean much?
Others assessment can concern all spheres of our life. You know that foreign opinion can not always be pleasant and can not always be truthful. The self-assured person will not pay attention, uncertain - will hurry to disappear, oppressed by own unpleasant thoughts.
And at the same time, it is impossible to claim, as if full ignoring of opinion of people around is and there is a sign of the self-assured person independent of foreign opinion. Always to reserve the own opinion - such position should not be end in itself.
We live among people. To renounce and not to be interested completely in others views it is wrong. Correctly - adequately to estimate foreign opinion, all speak, including dear and favourite people. Weigh heard, estimate told. Analyze and sweep aside false that others estimates did not prevent you to go the own way.
You do not dare to step also a step, without having heard truthful judgment from outside, or in any business you expect the hint - similar dependence plays only against you. The most terrible for people with this problem - negative reaction of people around: the open condemnation sounded in a verbal form or hidden (a look, a mimicry, gesture) did not sound, however was noticed and taken into consideration.
You remember: where there is an opportunity to find a negative, it is obligatory to eat also a positive. Foreign subjective opinion cannot be higher than your own. We are people and by the nature are equal who whatever thought and spoke. Be more self-assured and do not listen to everything that is told as all have different motives.
In - the first, the negative is extended by people on whose share this morning (hour, minute, an instant) had to be taken burning:
1. The neigbour from above wishing to vent on you the offense silently postponed from the husband.
2. The direct chief who had been through a lot rudeness from the top management.
3. The people who transferred several “pleasant“ hours to the subway or staid in a stopper tired and angry, and so on.
To constrain themselves they not in forces and splash out a negative anywhere on anyone, anyhow.
It is possible to regret, it is possible to understand position, it is possible to avoid and not to pay attention, anyway do not allow foreign opinion to achieve the desired objectives and to spoil to you mood.
In - the second, most of people express the opinion, pursuing exclusively definite purposes. For example, the power vampire who looks for the victim to be supported. The same prerequisites, as in the first point, behavior other. Vampires do not stop on one trial “a sting - the statement“, pursue the victim during the day, can under a pretext settle down near you. And with it jokes are bad if you are not ready to stand for yourself, without losing patience.
In - the third if you depend on foreign opinion, then manipulators by all means will be able to use it! The people able to distinguish where in your protective field a gap, will press on painful points to reach the.
Example: meetings, negotiations, debate. When your arguments in favor of business are impenetrable. You as the representative of one of the parties strong hold the ground and do not hand over positions. If at the opponent all trumps ended, he begins to pass to personal. Dishonest game.
Brings up a question:
1. Whether “It is possible to buy the new car on honestly earned money?“ - Thus, pointing out your unreliability.
2. “It was always interesting, but whether your private life influences professional qualities ?“ - Attempt to touch your problems in a family, private life.
3. Whether “It is time to give way to young people? “ - Age and professional discrimination you as worker.
4. Whether “Long ago you read newspapers and news reports?“ - the Statement about backwardness of your judgments.
If you give in, you fall on one knee - the case is lost, you will be finished.
Not to listen, not to answer provocation, not to give a sign if it touches you, not to open, how in boxing that the opponent could not find a gap in protection. Keep at least until you find a pretext to disappear, leave from the answer or to fight back!
Anyway, having heard similar judgments, you can be sure - a victory of your pocket. Return the interlocutor to the discussed subject, your private life does not concern him.
It is necessary to repeat mentally about himself is their problems, this their opinion, it does not concern you, you have other opinion, and in general, their opinion is subjective. It is possible to misbehave a little about himself mentally them sending: “On the farm of butterflies to catch! In a bath to take a steam bath! On kulichka to the old acquaintance! To the grandmother of the old acquaintance behind pies!“
Or just validly and tenderly: “Idit Vy we weed, go you the wood!“ Will feel better at once. Especially, if the imagination is developed and the comical picture of performance of your message will manage to be submitted.