I Count my Forgiveness Sunday that to YOU, the LONELY WOMAN, after my story very much it will want to live!!!
(Very frankly. Perhaps it is impossible so, forgive...)
Today very successful day for my revelation - Forgiveness Sunday. Forgive me everything! Me to forgive to
there is nobody, I forgive all a minute of offense at once - time offended me, so I brought a situation to it. It is necessary to understand himself.
I forgive and I thank those men to whom I had honor to be once a spouse. If not they, I would not meet the true and only love … Not big words, I am also not afraid of a malefice because - yes, it is now, and only if it is necessary for God, and will remain. And the people surrounding me at anything.
I married in nineteen years. Naturally, on big love. We met at the station, and he made me the proposal at once. I agreed the same minute. Still - the handsome written. Igor Kostolevsky`s copy, something - from Nikolay Eremenko. Just showed “Tehran - 43“ and “Red and Black“! Russian, but from Ukraine. We spoke the whole night in a waiting room. Then every day! I received letters from it, tender, clever and very sad. Answered right there and the same.
“My God! What handsome!“ - all said with envy around when I showed all its photos. And I was examined bewildered - such man and - it!
The great-grandmother mine 102 - whether summer Praskoviya Matveevna on my question to marry, answered shortly: “And who you, the silly woman, will take? Go, and that already old maid you will become soon!“
A the grandmother who “which - that“ knew and was able well that is saw everything beforehand, told: “Leave, from destiny not to get to anywhere. Not the first - not the last. Three you will live years …. And your love - oh, it is far isho …“ to
And it happened. Lived three years. Did not drink even some champagne, did not smoke, did not change. But I could not, my brains changed the direction. He practiced yoga, astronomy, with chess slept, very much loved me and adored the son. Only from the field (the geologist was, the chief of group) did not hurry to come back, it was more convenient to it to look there at stars, nobody disturbed, cried and asked to eat. I studied on a full-time department on which I arrived from the fourth time), earned additionally sewing (I have a diploma of the tailoring designer), after classes - at department the typist, sometimes at night at central post office of a parcel loaded (so heavy work that was counted at once, after a night shift).
Lived in an hour of driving by an electric train from the city. Every day rise at five in the morning, the child fills up in the train, I cram homework, then from the station with two changes - in a kindergarten, then to the same manners - in institute to classes to eight … went of
Ya in the winter in a raincoat, the husband went to Zagorsk behind the new telescope. At the same time it me it is strong - presilno loved …. But in me - that something overstrained … filed
Ya for divorce, at once this most having invited on a visit the mother-in-law (who is very respected by me still) from Kryvyi Rih. At first just tried to take away and away the son, then in court proved that I need to be deprived of the parental rights …. Everyone was. I left the apartment in _ by Rahn a barrack to the husband, moved to the room in the square hostel of six meters in size, without window - the former storeroom. The last request of the husband was - me to return that not I left, but he me. For some reason to it it was important. What was told by the people which (including even my parents) were in perplexity and, of course, on the party of the husband, will not tell.
Never, even when to me was at all any more in any way, I even in the secret thoughts did not want return to you back. And such I had an opportunity long …
Ya understood somewhere in itself, in soul that I just got involved not in that unpleasant incident if it and love - not mine it. Better than one, than so. So - it is dishonest … Forgive to
me my FIRST HUSBAND! I am sure that you still love me. I love you too, but already in a different way - you all - equally in my relative now, and I worry about you. Also I know how inconsistently there was your life. I sincerely feel sorry for you. I wish you good luck, the road! Everything will recover, your daughter will recover …
my Second history - most still long … My God, what happy you made me! I lived eight years single mother. I know what is it. It - when girlfriends married suddenly one by one fall off, you are an unwanted guest because husbands of girlfriends render to you special attention; when there is nothing to guzzle, and the child should be fed and dressed not worse, and it is better than others; when you are ready to drop after three works and you find the sleeping son with the notebook opened on a table and a note “Mothers in the evening, check!“; and again it is necessary and to carry in music school and to think in operating time as there he one got by bus home; and to move from one rental apartment to another because to live in a hostel there are no forces any more; and when there is a wish to howl at night …
I you appear here! Also you say that I - the most beautiful and good, you fall asleep not with me, and having embraced my cub, you drag him on fishing, even then, when I cannot - I work and I earn additionally. Both roses, and restaurants on days off. And again all envy me - snipped off such handsome - cheerful, the soul of the company, presents you to friends so that their wives are perplexed “IT and with IT! The bachelor, rich, maids grab a tail!“
is Eighteen years too! Thank you for the son of my nice, my musician, my tender and sincere boy, very much on you similar! Thanks that in my life there was it my mother-in-law, the gold woman, with such work you grown up!
I struggled with your illness selflessly, did not leave this fight even after our divorce. But more I cannot … I - not God! I made everything that the loving person for rescue of darling can only make … This trouble mowed a half of the man`s population.
Is guilty I the fact that by the time of our meeting I already became the STRONG WOMAN. I so was proud of it, I undertook everything that is only possible. What to list to anything. If you, the reader, in such situation now, all of you understand. You, as well as I, too now are proud of the remarkable force! Give, give! I understand you! Bang nails in a wall and with pride tell about it! Will pass …
Gradually I became for you a donor, and you for me - the real vampire. I faded away, I ceased to believe in myself as in the woman with happy destiny. You said that I very best, you bragged to friends, the fact that you are absolutely happy because there is a sky over the head, the sun and the beloved wife! But when you lifted a toast “For health of wives, our wet nurses!“, next day, in the fifth, but, at last, last time I incurred the petition on divorce. And this time I saw in your eyes - you believed that it is the end.
Remaining with you and rescuing you, I began to lose the sons: one left me, another began a thicket to remain to spend the night at the grandfather, legs home too did not conduct me … I Apologize
at you - perhaps, I you pressed down it the energy, power and an initiative. “Do not worry, we will solve everything, everything is formed“ - as often I told these words.
You threw me earlier. When I had a crisis in my enterprise affairs when I was smothered by all and from all directions when in completion of my absolute crash, I brought down the child (it is live and healthy, do not worry!) also endured four heavy courts about it, generally, when I was already crushed vpra, you to me gave a piece of good advice - to take a rope and soap and to go to garage!
I did not go. Sin. And my children … To whom are they necessary? I got up in the morning and laid down with a prayer, I to Nikolay Ugodnik came every day as the relative, I went in crowd along the avenue and thought that among all this crowd there will hardly be more unfortunate, than I am a person (without taking into consideration, of course, death of the loved one), I went on a mogilka to mother behind council, I did not want and greedy wanted to live!
From love and respect for you I came and told you to the first that I fell in love with other man!
Ya did not want that it, as usual happens in these cases, you learned the last. Though, it was possible already and not to do they are we were in a condition of divorce. I did not make you horned, I, at all, in eighteen years to you never the fact that I did not change, and had even no so undercover thought. Not before was! And this state dragged on not through my fault - you several times asked time on “to think“. I agreed, I did not hurry already anywhere …
You tried all legal and unlawful methods to stop me, to return. But, and itself you understand now - it was rescue to both of us. You were stirred up, you try, and at you already it turns out to be another, your trouble gives up on you, the son communicates with you, you care for it, and he adores you, you met the woman, our son, good says. I sincerely am glad for you. Forgive to
me for these eighteen years. I thank you for the fact that we left … Living with you, I felt more and more that it - not, not what I waited for. And I thought that the true love all - does not exist. As I with myself said goodbye to the woman …
You and now when we have an occasion to exchange calls, call me by honey, but we already laugh at the same time. Forgive me, my SECOND HUSBAND! Thanks to you, road! Happiness!
*** When I met by
you, my darling, I was - “that“ for appointment - in the jersey, trousers smeared with coal with a shovel in hands (the hole under gas was necessary by the morning), I thought “Here it! But it not mine“. I knew whose you. No matter, that you were not married. I in general - dream of the young bachelor - forty five two children, get divorced from husband, an array of problems … To me it is ridiculous now, but it not I, for me SOMEONE made a declaration of love to you! How I dared? Well and impudence!
I did not know that you thought of me the same, and too your thoughts were material!
We met and left, we nearly fought, talking about us, we went to a registry office three times …
Ya was afraid of you. I saw that it YOU, but were afraid …. Still wounds only begin to be licked, still my children in psychologically intolerable situation. But they already to me come back. And here you! And everything in you is good - your eyes are open, your open soul, I trust you, you are able to love, you love me, you, apparently, lived very long life - firewood to chop, shop, erase and iron, to perfectly prepare and to lay beautifully the table, to wipe my tears, to do me compliments, to call me “hare“, “to build“ adult serious workers, to shout, swear, cry over the sad movie … One at you a shortcoming - though you look absolutely adult sedate man, you are too young! I suspected it, but did not see your passport!
Yes I have a son of almost your age, and I - not Babkina and even not Pugachev! I never dreamed to have the rich husband, always said that, but perspective the man has to be not rich. You - such! You, as well as I, are not afraid of life. I want it, the only life to live near you! For what to me it? And you I for what? Than you so angered God what he took you to me? And you thank HIM for me! You straightened shoulders, you began to live a full breast, safely all to look in the face. You tell it to me, and I see it!
You told that if at us the child is not born, we will take at least one kid from orphanage. So I dreamed of it! Not one - three was taken, so it turned out! We are grateful each other and to these children for the fact that now all together, and us already eight people in the house. And to all of us it is good and cozy, thanking, generally to you - you provide a cosiness.
When I told the children that I fell in love, they for some reason were not shocked, they blessed me,“ live, mother, for yourself“. And now you at us - main in the house, the owner, too thanks to them. My God! Thank you for the children understanding mine kind!
I learned that we went to love it - on appointments to each other, passing every way more, than hundred kilometers daily. We met in roadside cafe for fifteen minutes to drink a cup of coffee, and then - everyone back. I - home, you - for work to other city! I grew thin kilogram for twenty, I got prettier, to me all gave compliments and took the eldest son for the friend! As to me it is good!
You not just as a builder, you are the real BUILDER of my and our happiness! You are my MASTER!
Forgive me for what I do not know, how much is a bread roll how to wash the car how to rise early in the morning every day and to bring younger to kindergarten, seniors - to school as then in the evening to make with them geometry and chemistry … Forgive to
for the fact that I sit now and I write this story, and you cook borsch and send our twins who cannot divide the panel from the TV and did not put to dry into the mitten battery … of
Forgive me for the fact that I was born before you …
Thanks to your and my friends for the fact that do not get out from our house, and just our company was increased twice! For the fact that it is interesting to us with them.
Thanks that I do not lie in front of the TV with the panel, and again I jump up at night to put Lenka on a pot, I ride with children from a hill, I learn with them letters, I sew up tights.
And still forgive for the fact that I violated the promise and wrote about us with you because you are afraid of a malefice …
You will understand me and will forgive, and my story can help some lonely female heart to understand, that the SPRING goes that it is never necessary to despair that life one, and it, this woman, one such! And she is worthy to meet LYUBOV! And it is not necessary to look for. Will come! Will precisely come! Clean the plumelets and - forward! Everything happens!
And I just very much love you, is mad - madly as you speak to me!
Little girls! Force is not necessary to us. Strong women - the weakest. And weak gray mice - force! They always try to obtain everything the weakness! Remember it! I - for YOU! Forward by SPRING and LOVE! HURRAH!!!