Rus Articles Journal




One of uncountable Moscow intellectual apartments.

1989. Break of the Soviet empire.

the Room which is closely filled mixed furniture.

All objects as if fit at each other, are pushed,

Stiffen in fancy poses, precisely huge frozen insects. Valera sits on the sofa roller, thoughtlessly touching something on a bedside table. Olga shifts from a table to a sideboard decorative plates.

Olga. Let`s a table move. Give, give - will be enough any nonsense to touch. There`s nothing to be done - it is necessary to move. Otherwise the folding bed for your brother will not become.

of the Value. It to me unless brother?

Olga. And who is he?

Undertake a table, remove to a sideboard.

Value. I thought it in a different way is called.

Olga. Well. Stepbrother. The father - that at you one.

of the Value. And - and - and … I confuse all these related names. I thought as - nibud … the brother-in-law, the brother-in-law …

Olga. Ha - ha … Little fool you mine … The brother-in-law is a brother of the wife, and the brother-in-law … itself I do not remember. (Looks at the watch.)

Well the father does not go. Promised to be a bit earlier.

of the Value. And you know it?

Olga. To Maksimk - that? The boy saw - like you.

of the Value. And why he with us did not live?

Olga. Long history. To you still early to penetrate into all this.

of the Value. It is direct! Well tell.

Olga. Well … he lived with mother. When … when we with your father … got married, his first wife took away from him the son. All this was confused, partly cruelly.

of the Value. And then?

Olga. And then his mother died. The grandma brought up it. Finished … geological perhaps? Institute - I do not know precisely, but something with geology. It was wound over all country, at first, apparently, by the worker, then … goodness knows whom. It has a rough biography.

of the Value. And why he at us never was?

Olga. Yes goodness knows. Mother and the grandma were against. Then - then was once. He and now - that in transit - will spend the night further. And you as if worry?

of the Value. I also really worry.

Olga. Well, well, would be from - for what. You by the way bought bread?

of the Value. Bought. Long loaf.

Olga. Only? A little. Run - take still.

of the Value. Well, ma, me reluctance.

Olga. It is direct still, a reluctance! What here a reluctance - a bakery near by. Give, give, can the father at the same time you will meet.

of the Value. Eternally so. Well give money.

Olga. So, where a purse - that? Here hold. Take still black a half perhaps … to

of the Value. All right.

Olga. Here those and it is fine. Give rather.

Valera leaves.

Olga. I will not sustain presence of this guy.

Gets from - for a sideboard a folding bed, establishes it. Inspects the room.

Olga. In total. It was necessary to wait.

Kitchen. Festively laid table. Several bottles. Maxim smokes at an open window. Valera sits at a table. Olga at a plate.

Olga. Finishing touches. Sacivi is ready. You did not edat such sacivi.

of Maxims. Edal, Olga Nikolaevna, edat. In Georgia it happened to happen. What I only did not edat where there was only no Olga …

. So the Georgian also taught to train me. There was a girlfriend once … I do not know what is with it now … Well, it seems all.

of Maxims. What the father - that?

Olga. I do not know. Has to be already. Probably, a bit earlier it did not turn out.

Departs from a plate. Inspects a table.

Olga. Well, in my opinion full order.

of Maxims. Looks beautifully.

of the Value (there is enough piece of sausage). The main thing - that was tasty!

Olga. Valerka!

of Maxims. Well - well, the brother. Suffer. Study.

of the Value. We wait already long. Let`s sit down. When still the father comes!

of Maxims. E! The brother, so is no good. In army you to it will be disaccustomed.

Olga (with astonishment). In army?

of the Value (cheerfully). What did I forget there?

of Maxims. You - that can also nothing and ask about it.

of the Value. Well I will not enter the institute perhaps?

of Maxims. I do not know, I do not know. And whether costs - if only that from army to otkosit?

Olga. Of course, costs. Why he is two years old of a nightmare?

of Maxims. Me, apparently, the father learned not to look for … these most … easy ways … However, I fall into banal moralising … To that was long ago - I do not remember.

Olga. Well … easy ways can look for and does not follow, but why special difficulties to itself to create?

of Maxims. Well unless it is difficulties! So - annoying trouble.

Noise of the opened door.

Here father.

Valera leaves in a corridor. Father`s voice:

Well did not turn out, it did not turn out. Maxims here?

Maxims. Here, here, where to me to be.

The father and Valera enter.

Father. Well hi, sonny.

of Maxims. Fine, father. Well you to embrace at once.

Father. How many - three perhaps years did not seem?

of Maxims. It is slightly more. But it - slightly - a trifle … Let`s sit down.

Father. Give, give. Only I will rinse hands.

While he washes hands, take seats.

When enters the father, Maxim opens a vodka bottle.

Olga. At once to display sacivi?

Father. Well what for? we Will have a snack at first. Well, - give Maxim - for a meeting!

of Maxims. I would tell - for acquaintance.

Father. For acquaintance? You unless do not remember Olga?

of Maxims. Vaguely. In general for the first time I see Valerka.

Father. Well can now you will communicate. It needs such friend as you - courageous, much seen.

of Maxims. Hm. And you to it?.

Father. I? Well that is another matter …

of Maxims. Well let`s drink for what you want. For a meeting, so for a meeting. And you, Olga Nikolaevna?

Father. She does not drink vodka.

of Maxims. What so? Can syo … in connection with such event?

Olga. No, no. Never understood pleasures.

of Maxims. Do not saw - because and did not understand.

Father. You still offer Valera.

of Maxims. And what? I at its age already took communion. Ha - ha.

Father. Well the son … you will tell …

of Maxims. I a hooligan was. Madcap. The grandma could not hold. Besides province. All right, the father, give.

Clink glasses. Drink.

Value. And why - the province?

of Maxims. And we lived in Yelets. This is our father the Muscovite it was closed up.

Father. Maxims, it is not necessary about it … to

of Maxims. Well, it is not necessary - so it is not necessary.

Olga. You have a snack, have a snack. Vaughan take sausage. To salad to put? Vaughan Valerka as treskat!

of Maxims. Thanks, Olga Nikolaevna, thanks. On the second it is necessary - and to smoke. And then to have a snack. And then - we will eat your remarkable sacivi. Give, the father.

Olga. As you smoke much, Maxim.

of Maxims. Well you will do. I like to smoke. After army thought to throw - yes where there! The father, Valerka of wons does not want to go to army.

Father. Well, Maxim, really you wanted?

of Maxims. Wanted did not want - yes by it did not turn out. All right. What fish is?

Olga. Siberian salmon.

of Maxims. Siberian salmon? Now I will try. (Puts fish on a plate. Slowly chews.)

Olga. Well as?

of Maxims. It unless Siberian salmon? The real Siberian salmon is in the north - there and salting another. And it so - vodka to heal …

Olga. (Looks at the husband). Well, than are rich … with

of Maxims. Yes, I understand. Shuddered, the father.

Father. Give. For those who with us are not present.

of Maxims. In - in. For my mother, for example, for the grandma.

Father. Maxims, I ask you …

Olga. Yes that really!

of Maxims. Well you are silent. It would be necessary somehow - e - I will sit down to pull. All right, Olga Nikolaevna, you do not watch at me so, I generally kind. Now I will listen to you and to eat your sacivi. (Drinks). Will not complicate (stretches a plate) more.

of the Value. And me.

Olga. Yes - you have always more.

of Maxims. Well! Let eats, gains strength.

Olga. And you, Maxim, almost ate nothing. Not to liking snack?

of Maxims. Well why. I to admit, have a bite. In a compartment fellow travelers nice got - children young, cheerful. Refused binge - I cognac in general not especially favor, and to eat - ate. But your sacivi, Olga Nikolaevna - with pleasure.

Olga. Well. I take at word. Also I will watch how you eat (stretches a plate).

of Maxims. Wai - Wai what aroma …

the Father (having cheered up). Here so - that is better. (chewing)

of Maxims. Well in Georgia. In the fall in mountains - did not happen? Air shivers as unsteady thin glass. And wine! And songs! The young lamb - is only fried - now that`s something like it! Aroma! And their cheeses! Greens! It is a pity that I am not a poet.

Father. You, the sonny, are one bird more similar.

of Maxims. On a bird? It as?

Father. In one region, in another. Also it is not sat to you anywhere.

of Maxims. So it forcedly, father. And where to me to sit - that? To whom I am necessary. My work can also who needs, and so … to

Olga. Here here Valerka was interested in your life.

of Maxims. Yes? In my opinion he is interested in more sacivi. And, Value?

of the Value. No, no, truth. It is very interesting to me.

of Maxims. Interestingly? Yes that here interesting. Not life, and swine. But, the father, painfully chilly we sit. I pour.

Olga. The father already in my opinion is ready to sacivi.

of the Value (with astonishment). Life - the swine? How it?

of Maxims. Do not pay attention, the brother. (drinks). It I am so … What in it interested you?

of the Value. Well … in general …

of Maxims. In general is vaguely. Where was what saw - it is perhaps?

of the Value. Yes.

of Maxims. Ý - e, much where was, a lot of things saw. With geological parties izlazit all country. In Siberia worked at a timber-rafting - the guy I as you see, healthy. In Kazakhstan zmeelovy was - well it more so, earned additionally. For these reptiles, is more true for their poison, well paid. Oh, as well. Drink, drink, the father, and they are is more useless, I drank, and you …

the Father. I later.

of Maxims. Well, and I still will drink. (Drinks). In crew of tigrolov at one time was active. Nearly died was. Metin on a back for the rest of life remained.

of the Value. Oh? Truth?

of Maxims. Aha, though rather probably on a falsehood - a scar - that a curve! You think - romanticism? Sybyrr! Snow, fir-trees, strong men?

of the Value. Yes. Likely. It seems so.

of Maxims. Rotten romanticism. More true - the rotten stuff is simple. Cold, severe snow. Black, terrible fir-trees. And men - rough, spent on drink, silly. Without mat - phrases. And the fear, fear - does not leave.

of the Value. How … fear?

of Maxims. And so. Fear - at all alien. Are impregnated with fear to bases. Drink, the father what you do not drink?

Father. You dispersed, the sonny. So I cannot drink ChYa.

of Maxims. And how you can?

Olga. When you studied?

of Maxims. Yes I studied - that only three years. And that is on correspondence. Bothered - threw. Xiu - syu, mu - syu. I am a practician at heart. I need action. Experience - experience at me was. And friends good among geologists. So far helped.

Olga. And further?

of Maxims. Further any is not present. In general. Everything is reduced to today. It is impossible to wake up and tell: W it tomorrow. Always continuous today. Let`s drink for today, the father!

Father. You drink much, Maxim.

of Maxims. That you! Earlier really drank much, and now - so, overindulgence. As children spoke: what the man if will not drink three glasses is?

of the Value. And from where it - about tomorrow? From where - that from literature …

of Maxims. Well, you at us the literary boy, but not I. You also have to remember from where, and to me - in an ear flew, in a brain got stuck and from where - who knows …

Olga. It - from Alice in Wonderland.

of Maxims. Here you see what mother at you - all classics, it seems, by heart remembers.

the Father (trying to speak strictly). Maxims, I ask you, it is not necessary so.

Olga. Maxims, you as if accuse us of something?

of Maxims. And from what you took what it not so? From where you know,

Why I appeared here? Or you think, I in Moscow have no place to stop?

Olga. A value, if you please, remove linen from a balcony.

of the Value. Yes there linen - they are two towels.

Father. Let sits. It adult already.

of Maxims. Adult? And what you it then shpynyat? He will decide - to sit to it here or not. And in general into the account of the adult … when it to them still will become … if there is …

a Father. Kohl you will touch upon such subjects …

of Maxims …. that will change nothing. I will touch upon those subjects which I want. You will not be able to prevent me.

Olga. A value, leave please.

of the Value. Well …

of Maxims. Leave, leave, the brother. For five minutes. We with you will finish speaking then. Both about tigers, and about reptiles.

Valera leaves.

Father. You why arrived?

of Maxims. Oho, it seems we approach that place where the dog is buried. How you think - vodka will serve in quality of a shovel, al will not? At me couple more of bottles will be in a bag.

Father. I will not drink. And you did not answer my question.

of Maxims. And why you think that I will answer?

Father. As it … but … e - e - e …

of Maxims. How many you missed a bit, you will not decide to expel me.

Father. Yes? You so consider? Why?

of Maxims. Because you did not become an adult. Because you will never decide on - not an act even, and sharp, though pertinent - the movement. You will never take the responsibility. As with my mother, davny - long ago. Because you are afraid of me.

Olga (quietly). Maxims, you came to offend us? Or to break a harmony in our house?

Maxim attentively looks at Olga.

the Pause lasts several seconds. Maxim slowly lights.

Maxims. Yes, Olga Nikolaevna, going here, I wanted to offend you. (it deeply drags on. Otets and Olga are silent.) Now I speak without irony share. Not as before, not as all evening. I wanted to hurt - to you - especially to you, not it (tycht a cigarette towards the father). I wanted that from this point your life went wrong way - then, in my understanding, crooked harmony would be established some … … Ridiculously, of course, sounds … However, somewhere I miscalculated. Having seen you - I thought that the father was fine lucky - not in is banal - semeyno - the everyday plan, not in master`s. Not in sense of a cosiness. I envied it as the man envies the man, seeing the woman of another who obviously cannot be beaten off … of

the Father (jumping). I you …

of Maxims (roughly). Sidi.

Olga. Sit down, please, there can be we with your son will understand each other better.

of Maxims. No. It hardly. But I did not finish speaking. The second feeling was: I will not be able to hurt it. To you, probably, ridiculously, you think - the whole evening was rude, and so speaks. But - I will not be mistaken? Tell honestly: you are able to abstract from similar situations? You are absent, you in yourself - you know that to the brother though to me ridiculously so to call him, I will not do the harm, and all gayerstvo, all my sarcasm - if it is possible to call it sarcasm - everything went to one party - to the father. So, is not present?

Olga (quietly). Yes, so.

Father (with emotion). Olya, how it is so possible?

of Maxims. Stop. I wanted to talk to you - once before forever leaving, nevermore to see - I do not know whether it will turn out now.

Ya got not into a vein. Was mistaken a wave. (extinguishes a cigarette). Anyway, Olga Nikolaevna, I think, you will believe me. all my rudeness if it was valid rudeness if nevertheless offended you - forgive to


Olga. It is difficult to you not to trust.

of Maxims. Thanks. (Valera enters). You there is nothing at all.

of the Value. It is possible for me to tea?

Olga. Now, I will put a teapot.

Father. Then I am guilty of everything.

of Maxims. Wait, the father. Tomorrow we have a Saturday ahead night - or at least its piece, we will manage to talk.

Father. Maybe I will not want to speak with you.

of the Value. Mothers, what at you occurs?

of Maxims. Anything special, old man. A showdown - piece nasty, of course, but - as without it? Sometime itself you will live before.

Olga. Valera, better you would drink to tea, and went to watch TV. Or to sleep.

Father. I, apparently, asked.

of Maxims. You will want, the father, you will want. I already told - it is our last conversation.

of the Value. Ma, is possible I will sit a little more?

of Maxims. Olga Nikolaevna, let will sit.

Olga (giving some tea). Well.

of Maxims. And me if does not complicate. (smiling) And sacivi was really excellent.

of the Value. Mother in general fine prepares.

of Maxims. I do not doubt it. Well, the old man that -be still interests you? From my biography?

of the Value. It seems and … but I do not know that …

of Maxims. And you ask, do not hesitate. I am a person simple … (accepting a cup) Thanks, Olga Nikolaevna, strong I love. (sniffs, choking) Ha - ha - ha.

Father. What is with you?

of Maxims. Angry I am a person … the patient I am a person … As on classics.

Father. You are not similar to the underground person.

of the Value. And you … you …

of Maxims. Speak you.

of the Value. You love Dostoyevsky?

of Maxims. No. I just read it. And here you, apparently, love. You want - we will talk about reading?

of the Value. Yes, I want.

of Maxims. Let`s actually stipulate - it is loudly told. I some interesting about it have no ideas. So, couple of phrases.

of the Value. And still.

of Maxims. I believe the person - for long, short what life will turn out has to read only several books. But to read so that they became flesh of his soul perhaps … That even the pulled-out page from this book seemed to it a chunk of the cut flesh. Its fleshes. Maybe then he will manage to add himself book - or the highest - wisdom.

of the Value. But books there is a lot of …

of Maxims. And life has more and more. Who told you that it is better than the book?

of the Value (sadly). Lives? And suddenly it all imitates books?

of Maxims. There now … In what book you subtracted it, the old man?

of the Value. I do not remember.

of Maxims. You see - already and you do not remember. Besides books - real, worthy a name - at all not much. It is the seeming variety. Really so banal thought did not come to your mind?

Olga. He is a literary child.

Father. Ha! It washing wines too?

of Maxims. It what was no I. Besides it any more not the child. And still child. How you think, the brother?

of the Value. I do not know. Did not think of it. I like to read.

of Maxims. Well also read. On health. Only it is unlikely it will be - on health.

Father. Well, of course, not all yours.

of Maxims. You in vain try to prick me. You will not manage. And concerning health … you very much are mistaken. In Kazakhstan to me beat off kidneys - it makes itself felt. I was bitten by snakes, and about a tigerish paw I already spoke. In Yakutia one huge native is broken to me a nose - in a drunk fight. I was stabbed a knife. I broke a leg, a clavicle, edges … To add, or will be enough?

of the Value. In Yakutia? And you were in Yakutia?

Father. Sorry, Maxim. I unsuccessfully joked. I also did not know …

of Maxims. All right, it is trifles. In Yakutia I, of course, was - I there even had friends from local. This, clear, was not included into their number.

of the Value. It … with geological parties?

of Maxims. Aha.

of the Value. And it is interesting? To go with them all over the world?

of Maxims. Painfully you are curious for the fan of books. It, you understand, depends on the person. Well and from a spirit. What to count on. It was interesting to me. But you, the brother, it will hardly appear to liking … and on teeth.

Father. Maxims, it is not necessary to speak so with it.

of the Value. Why too hard …

of Maxims. Yes so … Do not take offense … it quite another matter - in comparison with what you count on.

Olga. A value, you drank up tea?

of Maxims. The old man, you indeed is time to sleep. Already twelfth hour

of the Value. Yes, it is fine, I go.

Second room. Same mixed furniture.

At an open balcony Maxim and Olga. Maxim smokes.

Olga. The father was upset. I understand your feelings, Maxim. I know about you a little - so, scraps which - that you told. I had a feeling that your arrival is connected with something heavy for you … and for us, probably …

of Maxims. I apologized to you, Olga Nikolaevna.

Olga. And I excused you. I not about.

of Maxims. Yes. You about the father. Yes. I understand.

Olga. You … words can generally not be necessary? Believe: you will not manage to speak. I am more senior than you, and I … I faced the similar relations … circumstances …

of Maxims too. Olga … language does not turn to call you on a middle name …

Olga. And it is not necessary.

of Maxims. Well, Olga, is more senior - does not mean is more skilled. I … me was too roughly molded - days, so to say. I was beaten much, and I ceased to trust others experience. Yes, however, and to the - that not too I trust … to

Olga. And all-. with

of Maxims (without hearing it) I was beaten through his fault.

Olga. Father?

of Maxims. Yes. Also believe this conversation is necessary to it more, than me.

Olga. If you think that he does not love you at all, you are mistaken.

of Maxims. Now I do not need his love. Absolutely. Can the remains some it is this love - and hid in his soul, but it so - a handful of spangles. And generally - there can be I his pain? Heavy, dreary, Olga is worse gastric or warm … than

. You think - will relieve of this pain words?

of Maxims. Only words will also relieve of it.

Olga. For whom you care? About it? About?

of Maxims. I do not know. Most likely I care for an opportunity to leave quietly.

Olga. You know, Maxim, I do not want that you left … forever.

of Maxims. I do not know, but similar I feel something.

Olga. I want that you came to us. I want to change your relations with it. I want that you communicated with Valerka, influenced him.

of Maxims. Olga, you probably see what in me is not present. Or what is not seen by me. But anyway, you do not want that I spoke with the father.

Olga. Yes, I do not want.

of Maxims. Without it I will not be able to leave. And I need to leave. On - a last resort for some time.

Olga. Anyway - I have no right to condemn you - I lived too safely, and I will not interfere with you. Only you remember one.

of Maxims. Yes?

Olga. He is your father.

of Maxims. Yes. Exclusively.

Olga. But - it. It.

of Maxims. I too it constantly go on to myself. It is no good as a spell.

changes Nothing.

Olga. So - you go?

of Maxims. Yes. Forgive me.

Kitchen. The father drinks tea. Maxim enters.

Father. There will be a tea?

of Maxims. It is possible also tea. Though I would drink vodka. You do not drink if you do not want.

Father. Please. Your business.

Maxim gets a bottle from the refrigerator.

Maxims. So why I am not similar to the underground person?

Father. You? Ah yes, it I something like that told …

of Maxims. It: that I am not similar to the inhabitant of an underground.

Father. Well … can because you never were in an underground, in that - a metaphysical underground.

of Maxims. Whether oh? You were convinced how a little you know about me.

Father. Well. Maybe happened. But you have no philosophy. That, having got into a hole, had … some principles perhaps, and you hiss just like that.

of Maxims. No, I speak loudly. Hissing out of my range.

the Father (it is noisy supping tea). So you - angry?

of Maxims. Likely, angry. From what to be kind?

Father. You hate me?

of Maxims. I do not know. It seems to me, I am sick with you.

Father. It is sick? It as is interesting?

of Maxims. I should turn out you from - whether a brain, whether soul. From there, where you take a lot of place.

Father. And what will be farther?

of Maxims. Life. Ordinary life.

Father. And now that?

of Maxims. I do not know …

the Father. Let`s me light.

of Maxims. Unless you smoke?

Father. Sometimes - yes. At the similar moments.

of Maxims (stretches a pack). Smoke. Maybe then you will drink? For the company.

Father. Give. Pour. I will even tell.

of Maxims (pours). Well, I listen to you.

Father. For that I nevertheless could understand - your words, you. (having quickly drunk)

of Maxims. It late, father. And to anything, likely. We will disperse after this evening, I think, forever. Though your wife would not like, but …

the Father. I too …

of Maxims. You, you, will hate me. From - this point: this evening.

Father. No, you are not right. I have no right and I do not want to hate you.

of Maxims. Maybe you already want to hate me. Later - you will be able.

Father. I … I got entangled in you … with

of Maxims. And in.

Father. No, before your emergence, everything was clear. We loved each other - I, Olga, Valerka. Life, harmony. Warmly, well. I worried for Valera. I, likely I, that is my education made it unadapted to life, and now I do not know any more what to change.

A you left excessively adapted for it - to life.

of Maxims. You seek to accuse yourself of everything earlier, than it will be made by me?

Father. Can. You know, sometimes there is it: you feel that understood something, but you cannot formulate, express in words. Here at me so now. Where - that is deep, hurts …

of Maxims. Your cigarette went out. On, light (brings a match).

Father. You had to me no feelings?

of Maxims. The most ridiculous in this history the fact that they, apparently, revived.

Father. And …

of Maxims. You want to ask whether there can be some continuation of our relations?

Father. Yes.

of Maxims. I do not know. So far, probably, I should leave - for a year, on two. I got used to leave. Not in difficult situations, and in general. I need air, it is a lot of air that to realize everything, to experience. I liked the brother - naive, not ready to anything. I liked Olga … without middle name she is called, she allowed … to

the Father. And I …

of Maxims. You … Always pulled me to you. Your work. Your knizhnost. It was interesting at all this there was what so was not enough for me,

But it then - among the yards, among the flashing boyish fists. Instead of reading, I had to be learned to fight. Further … further everything moved down somewhere sideways …

the Father. You remember mother?

of Maxims. I badly remember it. I try to remember it - and hands, apparently, warm … the swelled-up person emerge … It is more grandmother. Also I am obliged to it big.

Father. It seems to me, you think that you are not obliged to anybody by anything.

of Maxims. Perhaps and to anybody. To the days molding me. Chaotic - as wildly sounds - a molding. The grandmother died when to me there were eighteen. It is army, Kazakhstan. The telegram came when the grandmother was already buried. You were not on a funeral.

Father. I could not!

of Maxims. Fully. Tell: did not want.

Father. No, no, believe: could not. It, it is in many respects guilty - that we divorced your mother.

of Maxims. Except you and mother nobody is guilty of it.

Father. No, no, you do not know everything …

of Maxims. It is more true to tell - I do not know anything … But at what here the grandmother?

Father. She rushed, constantly rushed into our life, broke into it, roughly and hysterically, wishing to crush everything under herself, to subordinate … She survived me. It did not take out me. When I slightly, having drunk, came home, she shouted: when you die, the alcoholic! And mother, mother - as though was always suppressed by her will … She also died - that …

of Maxims crushed …. Throw. She died from cancer.

Father. How much you know why it flashed - this cancer?

of Maxims. Well, nobody knows it. But … unless not in the same year, in a year of death of mother you did not marry Olga?

Father. On Olga? Yes I also did not know it then. Went in Moscow to work, I was invited in scientific research institute. We were divorced with your mother, I sent the alimony until the grandma forbade to take them. And only much later I met Olga. When we got married, she was pregnant.

of Maxims. Value unless not fifteen?

Father. No, fourteen.

of Maxims. I got used to think that you threw mother from - for Olga.

Father. So to you the grandma hollowed? For this reason you also wanted to hurt Olga?

of Maxims. Likely, so it also is. The grandmother presented everything quite so.

Father. You see - I spoke to you: she hated me. Always hated. Even when at us with your mother everything was good. Perhaps for it.

of Maxims. I remember only some pieces … splinters of life of that time. The small river and the flashing whitebaits.

Father. And you remember how I taught you to swim?

of Maxims. Yes, I remember it. But again - as the photo which is filled in with water. I remember the hands supporting me. Your hands.

Father. Yes, yes.

of Maxims. And thinking all the time took down a current.

Father. Yes. And yellow water turned around. You quickly learned.

of Maxims. I remember still park where walked, the bridge, huge such … I remember winter.

Father. We skied.

of Maxims. Yes, I did not manage to move down from mountains yet. All the time fell. Once very painfully hurt a tailbone, he long was ill, mother smeared with iodine.

Father. Why you call her mother, and me only the father?

of Maxims. Yes so … you waited - the father?

Father. Not that … pour, perhaps. Let`s drink.

of Maxims (pours). I do not know … Long time I lived with confidence that you threw me. So, a puppy to the river - be chosen, as you wish. After death of mother to me it was necessary though some support, or heat … is more right than

the Father. But the grandma forbade me even to appear.

of Maxims. Yes. Also did not wish to take your money, and worked, worked up to the end. All the time sewed something or knitted. I remember when I the first time came with the injured nose, and began to roar, she cried: do not dare! Go and study to fight.

Father (regretting). Good lesson …

of Maxims. But, what pies it baked! Miracle! Objedeniye!

Father. You do not feel nostalgia on the childhood.

of Maxims. Of course. I poured long ago, and you do not notice. Let`s drink.


Maxims. After the eighth class, she did not allow me to study further. I came to technical training college, in “putyaga“ as we called it. It was necessary to fight to me there much. However, it is nonsense. Then I worked year the coupler … You know, I fell in love with the railroad - these heavy oil smells, the crawling trains … and feeling - everything flies somewhere, aspires, moves, and there, there - the life shining such … It is a pity that I did not become a poet.

Father. And you tried to write?

of Maxims. Tried. The nonsense turned out. And here Valerka you look and will become.

Father. You envy it, perhaps?

of Maxims. I do not know. In something maybe yes.

the Father. Strange …

of Maxims. What? What was I fond of memoirs more anything I do not accuse you of?

Father. I never perceived your life of heavy cherezmerno.

of Maxims. And it was also not such. Normal life.

Father. You wrote sometimes. I answered you … with

of Maxims. The first time I wrote to you after death of the grandmother.

Father. I remember - from Kazakhstan.

of Maxims. To me was simply - it is desperate. A corner where it is possible to be stuck … Yes … At one time I so played - imagined to myself the coziest corner, know, such - the Father covered by fur, heavy warm pulp around …

. I also did not know that you in army then.

of Maxims. Address … From where I had an address, do not remember …

the Father. At first we still met you. The grandma was against, but mother insisted. For it it was the real feat: to go counter to babkiny will …

of Maxims. You considered mother so weak?

Father. It also was such. Truth. Believe.

of Maxims. That it is only necessary - to trust.

Father. Weak. Gentle. Weak-willed.

of Maxims. What strange woman!

Father. Listen, and you remember how already here, in Moscow, in park we fed ducks? Very much it was pleasant to you how they get off in pack, fight from - for yellowish bread lumps. How from - under waters, precisely from - under dark a plaid vyprastyvat pink pads, and turn green, being poured, necks of drakes?

of Maxims. Well, well … whole poem … At me memoirs are poorer.

Father. But you remember something?

of Maxims. Yes so - the crackling gravel of paths.

Father. And you remember a zoo?

of Maxims. Zoo? Ha - ha … Listen, the father, it is not especially interesting to me. In some sense I had enough zoo in life.

Father. Forgive. I climb with the bad memoirs.

of Maxims. Why bad? It is banal - but is true - each to their own. It is frequent to have to remember it, but to feel seldom as sharply as today. to

If I something am dear to you … to

the Father. The sonny, the sonny … … that, of course, and these memoirs are dear to

of Maxims too. For me they and on spots color do not pull.

Father. You do not believe that you are dear to me?

of Maxims. I do not know, the father. I came to accuse you - and could not. I wanted to understand you - and got confused. Silly result. Likely, I should not have come.

Father. On the contrary - has to.

of Maxims. Well if only to stir up you - that yes. But I needed not that.

Father. And you will hardly believe if I tell that you are necessary to us?

of Maxims. No. I trust in it.

Father. But we - are not necessary to you.

of Maxims. And goodness knows, father. I do not live in Moscow, and in general - it seems I do not live anywhere. I am a tramp in fact, character not such is not created for settled life. Something bursts in soul - and it is necessary to go, run, leave. And even if I occasionally would appear at you - it would develop into ordinary turmoil of feelings, into my muffled stories about the new portions of the earth pitted or iskhozhenny me …

the Father. Hm. Perhaps, I would agree to it. Besides I considered that you chose such life, and it suits you. I did not think that you can accuse me in many respects.

of Maxims. And I also do not accuse … more … It developed as it developed. And … you will not deny that it is first ours - such - conversation.

Father. No, I will not be. Except letters.

of Maxims. Letters … Letters for me were … well as then in Kazakhstan. An opportunity to grasp something, to get out of darkness.

Father. And you wrote me - such minutes.

of Maxims. And I had nobody to write more. Those who were considered as friends - they almost always nearby wander with you on the ground … And I wrote you … know, partly as in emptiness: and your person grew stout, and the voice sounded indistinctly, I needed to concentrate to present your lines. But, both on minus plus, and darkness gives minus, running on emptiness, gives light. To me these letters were important. Sorry, if offended you … I do not know than …

the Father. It to me during a time to apologize.

of Maxims. All right, that … To clarity we in general will hardly come.

Father. And she is not at all. One of fog forms - and all.

of Maxims. Likely, you are right. But there is a silence. Detachment from words. Did not test?

Father. No.

of Maxims. Of course. Where here in the city you will test it? And I here used to know such places.

Father. Far?

of Maxims. Very much … Once in the deaf, almost died out village, I met church - met - some person, a rare whiteness and neatness, and such - I do not speak in it - there was a silence, but also around - fluids, trends of rest, joyful light … Perhaps, it is a village the only place where I wanted to remain for a long time, can even lodge.

Father. Well and?.

of Maxims. And I was connected by much. Affairs, business. The desire and remained. Desire how a reference point - as, your way, such point?

Father. In my opinion - any.

of Maxims. In sense - useless?

the Father (smiling). In sense - I do not want to put an end.

of Maxims (as if repeating the father`s smile). All right, give a dash. In sense - we will not finish the offer.

Father. Well. Go to sleep. Tomorrow day off. There will be a lot of free time.

of Maxims. You did not understand, the father. I will not spend the night.

Father. How?

of Maxims. Very simply. I will take away a bag and I will leave.

Father. But … where you will leave?

of Maxims. Well now - when you which - that you know about me, this question is absolutely ridiculous.

Father. Yes, yes. But … wait. I do not want that you left.

of Maxims. I should leave. Perhaps, to return. Can - forever …

the Father. And … as it will be possible to find you?

of Maxims. In any way. I will have an effect. If I will feel need.

Long, narrow corridor. Maxim and Olga.

Olga. I was right? Though in something?

of Maxims. Perhaps. I know nothing now and.

Olga. And

was succeeded to find out nothing? Maxims. No.

Olga. And to understand each other?

of Maxims. Perhaps.

Olga. It seems to me, you became softer.

of Maxims. And perhaps just became limp. Happens to me.

Olga. It is not trusted in it.

of Maxims. And nevertheless.

Olga. Anyway, but you leave - forever.

of Maxims. I do not know, Olga.

Olga. I would like that you returned.

of Maxims. I know.

Olga. Therefore - good-bye, Maxim.

of Maxims. Good-bye, Olga.

Darkness. Olga`s voice.

We nevermore saw Maxim. God knows, where brought its way guessed and which is not called by it. Maybe he nevertheless lodged in this village, can was gone where - nibud in Yakutia or Kazakhstan, can went for war, considering that life began to manufacture only several years later, considering, as there is no country in which we spoke then at night, any more.

Valera graduated from school, entered the university. The father is still absorbed by the research work - he is a physicist, is engaged in the theory of plasma, but it is hardly related to events of that night, and his institute which was injured in Post-Soviet times nevertheless rose, so, that we live rather not bad. I - I still master the house in which harmony did not fail. Days pass, pass quickly, merging in one, often hardly distinguishable tape. And only sometimes we remember that night, sudden explosion split was our reality which nevertheless resisted, we remember the long night conversation partly retold to me by the husband, and we think - where you, Maxim?

Alexander Baltin