People from commemoration dispersed, and it remained one. Slowly rolled heavy stones of thoughts; and pictures, replacing one another, pressed and burned down a brain … The husband was young, life with him is two years more senior than it, and it only 25, and, three years of this life returned to that normal when all seemed and will be - gradually, quietly, on accruing, smoothly, is always cozy … But everything broke at the moment - after a dinner the husband departed to smoke to a window, made several inhalings, turned blue the person, fell and died. And now, washing the dishes that though to occupy with something itself, endlessly scrolling a past tape, she felt such emptiness such dementing, pressing unsteadiness, as the house seemed intolerable, and was a burden on itself.
Not that it made some decision, rather just found itself going along the avenue … The street was small, and autumn twilight floated diversity of advertizing, the lit windows, the people going on affairs, children, walking with dogs …
It came into cafe, ordered something, and became slowly, through a straw to pull dense, sweet, viscous, fighting against emptiness and as if semi-seeing fires, faces … She answered the guy who sat down by it - that? without understanding, its essence precisely forked - died in it something, and something, eager to live, be, to feel live and warm … He treated her, something strong burned a throat, cherished heart by heat.
I was night at his place, the night relieving of freight - when the room shook Xing - is white, fires flashed, and everything floated somewhere by the boat of the crumpled sheets …
in the Morning, having refused to dictate phone figures, she told - I buried the husband yesterday …
MEMORY AND OBLIVION
the Tall, black, motionless person at the beginning of the boulevard seemed to the child a clot of unknown, mysterious substance. The child understood - the monument is not live, and delightfully considered the little men entered by a tape in a pedestal. The grid of snow turned the world of the boulevard, the world of lamps and the blinking traffic lights into one big fairy tale, and the child was its participant snowy - magnificent action. Down - down a white body of the boulevard, and house are looked by beetle-browed grandfathers.
the Pond is wrapped softly up with a fluffy cover, and it is unknown where ducks …
A here Xing - a gold show-window winter, and on it ranks, garden tiers cakes - magic patterns of bright roses, both massifs of color unknown curls, and architectural, edible bulks - and the child looks, to come off not in forces. - You want something? Well cake, for example? - the dressed uncle who stopped nearby asks in black. And the child runs, runs from him during densely going snow cut by light magnificence of the city.
However, where house? The yards pass into others, are restricted, crawling at each other, all in white, all kipenny, and windows of houses such identical, such is yellow - amber, medvyany that behind each of them there can be his house.
A can not be.
do not worry! - the child who made excursion to the world of the adult city will come back home.
A then it will grow to forget this gently - a snow light episode, something meaning in small life. there is no
Because without oblivion the future.
Because without memory will be made senseless life.
Under the New Year tree exhaling cozy aroma on a low coffee table sat plush animals. There was a green rat with a red, amusing nose, touching, large ears, and sad, almost human eyes; efficient,
gray and absolutely not prickly hedgehog; eternally cheerful it is gray - the white hare offering all red carrot; little multi-colored hippopotamus, gloomy and unsociable; devil quite similar to an animal; the tender cow holding in paws a heart with an inscription: I love you; and absolutely sad lion. Were still: a wise dog a wearing spectacles, gloomy monkey and a joyful puppy in a cheerful cap - but they sat separately, on a back of the big sofa showing old, reliable fortress.
the Owner of the apartment was lonely. In the mornings, leaving on the affairs, he forgot about the favourites, about their special, to nobody unknown life, and coming back - as though again found them, ironed quietly, touched fingers amusing and lovely little bodies, and mutely told them something, without counting on the answer. He dreamed that sometime then, in incomprehensible times and spaces they will recover, and he, perhaps, will meet them, as new friends and beautiful interlocutors. He dreamed of it is both it became easier for him, and he fell asleep, smiling …
He did not know that these animals were live also in present material life that they talk when it is absent, discussing the daily occurrence, and also they are their sad and lonely owner.
… easy rustling as if a breeze rushed on the room, the hedgehog sneezed then, and then the hare stretched it the only carrot.
- Thanks, - the hedgehog, &ndash spoke; but I am not hungry.
the Devil sniffed and reported that once he lived absolutely not here, and in the cheerful and festive country where all - all - all are joyful, and nobody longs.
- And our owner longs, - the rat spoke, and animals sighed. They knew
about his dream, and were grateful to it for warm participation.
- to think up? As if to amuse him? - the cow holding a heart told. - Let`s ask
a dog, - the lion offered. - She wears glasses, and she is such clever.
I they addressed a dog.
- Well, that told, having cleared the throat, - to amuse the person, he needs to make by
Animals began to smile, such simple and sensible thought became clear to them. However …
- However what we can make for it?
I a puppy in a cap quietly gave a yelp.
- Let`s decorate flowers, - the monkey, gloomy from a lack of the movement offered.
- Excellent idea! - picked up others.
In the apartment was many flowers, and animals, slightly - slightly understanding flower language, were sure that those will agree. The cactus standing here on a coffee table, confirmed it, and then, the become cheerful lion, the highest of all, carefully removed a small fir-tree garland and accurately wound with it a cactus.
- Thanks, - told a cactus, - so I am much more beautiful and the fir-tree does not object.
the Cheerful hare approached a violet and placed red carrot between its leaves. The devil clicked fingers, and the gold nut appeared. The nut was placed by joint efforts on a balsam branch. The cow suited a red heart with a kind inscription on other cactus, is larger - so that the owner noticed it at once, having entered the room. The wise dog offered the points as ornament, and to her helped to get back on a sofa from where easily the puppy who gave the cap came off.
Animals worked selflessly, and various, lovely and ridiculous objects, appeared in foliage of the different flowers standing in the apartment. The devil remembered ancient, to one to him the known art, and, clicking fingers, vigorously extracted from emptiness color paper, small garlands, small lamps, tinsel …
in the Evening of people entered the room and stopped at doors. the adult who, however, did not manage to mature why his heart clenched so often from grief of grief light and strong was
It, and the reality seemed cherezmerno bulky to be real. From all flowers various cheerful objects which are very little taking places in inert, material life looked at it; the person looked and quietly smiled, looking for in the heart of confirmation to a miracle.
I then a green rat began to cry big human tears.
DEATH of the FATHER
Went in the platform, went from Kaluga, after boring giving at relatives - for nineteen-year-old patriarchal character is painful; swayed an electric train, and the platform seemed a bunk room of the vessel which got to an easy storm. On the contrary two - one razhy man, the rolled-up sleeves bare knots of forearms, the second grandfather with the nose painted with the sum of sclerous sosudik and the award twisted in a jacket lapel: drink dry of a throat, touching words something household, boring …
Behind windows of the field and the sky, and in the sky there is a struggle: Xing - it is lead, covering the earth with a shadow, clouds creep; and here heavy rain - fell efficiently, darkly, but the electric train escaped from it, escaped from a gloomy strip, quickly - quickly, and, through some time - was involved in a cosiness of the Kiev station … house
A the father - the father exhausted by cardiac pain pounds a breast, asks how I went; the father is silent, quiet, but pain, pain …
of Any presentiment.
Ambulance went long - long, and the father was taken away at night, and the apartment reminded the den ruined, and in the morning, without having fallen down, having hastily drunk coffee, I went to look for hospital, but do not let in reanimation - no, there is …
no Public garden touched in the fall: August at the end, a rigid rust of foliage, early gold, and here, under a black gray of crows rolled - tears began to flow, was remembered, remembered … here we go with the father the Moscow lanes and we speak, we speak … here teaches me to read, and the hand burns down it a small shoulder … here, inclining it is necessary me, opens a notebook, showing just bought motley brands … here … Was remembered by
not in vain: the last time saw the father when took away it, took away at night … Mother had a rest in Lithuania, vyzvanivat it long, difficult; from the acquaintance went to a morgue, became at a door: To me it is terrible, - I told; and here the cheerful flock of young physicians and medichek as if there is no death, and inside a white tile, corridors fluttered out whether corridors …
Should describe the first in life funeral? We SO never finished speaking to
with you, the father, and now, never …
… and a dense buzzing of your blood in me, and the life code enclosed in my essence by you …
Two giving, two houses, two adjacent sites on six hundred parts; dachas exist since 1959, and it seems - not the base at them - root taken davny - long ago … One is called - antiquated; and here he is a grandfather, in a slowed-up way - impressive, in white tussore and a hat of a boater, with a firm stick … and the woman Galya strides behind it, and there are they on the footpath which grassed for giving where do not live, but happen; and was - the grandfather was fond of bees - dark, gloomy coffins of packs stood on a site, sheltering difficult society of bees. The grandfather - the cone in RONO, imperious, loud, liking to teach, and his wife - the teacher of geography, they are what them I remember - on pension, go for giving … any to me not the grandfather in fact - the grandfather to my cousin; somehow during winter vacation walked with it across Kaluga (dachas near it) and got … literally to a snow-storm, and came to old men to overstay: their house is old, picturesque, in the lane behind church; drank krepkozavarenny tea, and the carpet blossomed on a wall a perelivisty pattern … Old men are dead
davny - long ago, giving cracked, is filled up with old stuff, and the hardened books on shelves will not tell about anything - they are also senseless as gray, marble salt; but we take out billiards with the brother, cloth turned gray, spheres are excessively yellow; we establish billiards under a pear … And - And you remember? - the brother asks. What - is not important, we have different memoirs, in something connected by roots - and roots go to the soil of these two dachas, to the belonging parents of the brother and mine to the uncle and the aunt. The uncle was my Godfather - the priest, his friend - as if withdrawn from Leskov, booming emptiness of old church, cornelians of icons … The uncle with the aunt lived in the country all summer, and two months of vacation I saw off with the brother here - was dissolved in a charm of summer, in its current paints; beds were fatly - green, tents of a gooseberry are huge, and a raspberry brake … as if the army which made a stand. Everything grew, violently grew at the uncle, hotbeds breathed heat, and tomatoes burst from ripeness …
… how to live without another? The aunt with the uncle were married forty years - astral entities of connected, grown each other - the aunt, the child of war, 41 - go year of birth, it is a lot of and variously hurt - at the same time was always cheerful, efficient, the economy shone, everything at it shone …
the Uncle washed the floors at the dacha in the evening, and red colored boards breathed a cosiness, and they sat are my uncle and my aunt, watched TV, and the uncle drank almost black, strongest tea. the Aunt told
- As I liked to watch in the evenings with Gena TV how I loved … Now the aunt is dead
too, their spirit as soars over giving? The old giving which is laid over by a brick where there was a lot of happiness the children`s laughter sounded, dogs barked - that the heavy portiere of emptiness fell then …