How to achieve obedience of the child?
three-year-old Antoshki`s Mother, employing Anna, strictly warned.
- You do not speak to the child the word “is impossible“, forbid nothing, we bring up from it the leader.
Anton was a late child of elderly parents, everything was allowed him.
The three-year-old kid “was fast on punishment“ that not on him - crack a cam on the person, “without respect of persons“: to mother, the father, raised also at guests, foreign people.
Talked only in mandative tone: “sit down“, “get up“, “play“, “swing - do not swing“ …
If that not on it - fell on a floor, shouted, swore, beat with legs a floor and demanded, demanded … by
On walk in a sandbox to it it was not sat, it pulled Anna in different directions all the time: “Let`s go there, no, will go there“, he did not know where, the main thing that Anna implicitly submitted to its requirements.
During its hysterics Anna tried to calm him, to switch attention of the kid to something else, but it turned out so that all her arrangements only added “fuel to the fire“, he shouted, swore as far as its lexicon allowed it. Hysterics in such cases could last long very much.
Anna is a teacher with a ten-year experience, easily coped with thirty teenagers in a class, coming home after such work, fell on a sofa in exhaustion.
Speak, in old times of the guilty servants so punished, forced to repeat all his movements after the child.
In two weeks Anna made the decision: “I will leave, will be enough“.
But then reflected: “Really I will not be able to cope with this kid? I can teach much him. No, it is necessary to try“.
She decided to begin re-education with discipline.
As the skilled teacher, she knew that, having come to a new class, the teacher seeking to give in the subject to children of knowledge at the beginning of academic year will surely achieve discipline, an order in a class. In such working situation even to the lagging most behind pupil though something will fly in an ear and will get stuck in the head, otherwise - knowledge will not be even at good, capable pupils.
Antoshka already half an hour faced Anna, crying with powerlessness, he ordered: “Get up, get up“, stuck into it with a toy saber. Anna, silently, took away a saber. With deliberate attention she considered pictures in the children`s book.
It proceeded several days.
But gradually hysterics and Antoshki`s orders became shorter, soon at all stopped. He understood that everything is useless as soon as he something demands from Anna, she will at once stop interesting game and will sit down in a chair to consider pictures.
When hysteric tired Antoshki abated, she began to talk to him not at once, waited when he absolutely calms down also very first will start talking by a quiet voice. Otherwise, it lifted shout again.
On walk as soon as Anton ordered it: “Let`s go there“. She took it for a wrist and firmly spoke: “There it is impossible, the road, cars there“. And, without paying attention to its protests and shouts, conducted it in the direction necessary to it. It repeated until the kid did not understand that his requirements are useless. Now it quietly played with other children in a sandbox.
Gradually improving the relations, Anna, to the surprise, found out what remarkable kid was this Anton!
Clever, inquisitive, beyond the years assidious. Now with the boy it was possible to play, read books quietly.
But as soon as mother came in the evening, the child changed in the eyes.
He turned to Anna and, with a smile looking it in eyes, told the favourite phrase: “Shchas “I will break wind“ in a nose“. Then shouted at mother, was capricious, ordered. Became former Antoshka.
On a face of mother Anna saw that everything only touched her, it such small, pretty, well what from it you will take?
- Really she does not understand, - Anna thought, looking at these ugly scenes, - nurses, tutors in kindergarten, teachers at school - all this temporary people in destiny of her child. She should live with it until the end of life, and he raises a hand against it already now and offends it. In these hysterics the weak nervous system of the child is loosened.
But when Anna tried to explain her something, to prompt, she strictly pursed lips, obviously, it was not pleasant to her that some nurse teaches it how to bring up own child. She claimed probably having read “modern“ pedagogical researches that the child needs to be brought up only one love.
Yes, it is necessary to love the child, he has to felt parental love that always pulled it home where waits for a cosiness, heat where it will always be understood, regretted.
But parents, but not the child parents have to operate the child at children`s age.
In the relations with the child parents cannot allow familiarity, the relations “as equals“ when the child behaves and talks to them, as to the age-mates.
At teenage or youthful age, having faced problems in education of children, such parents late will understand that for the children they are not authorities, do not reckon with their opinion.
Alone with Anna Antoshka behaved absolutely in a different way, the small child understood with whom and as it is possible to behave.